There are friends
with a little "f" and friends with a big "F." The first is a large group
with sloppy admission standards, the other an elite and time-tested crew.
A little
"f" friend: Identifies
themselves when they call.
A big
"F" Friend: Doesn't
have to.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A Little
"f" Friend: Opens
a conversation with a full news bulletin on their life.
A Big
"F" Friend: says: "What's new with you?"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A Little
"f" Friend: Thinks
the problems you whine about are recent.
A Big
"F" Friend: says: "You've been whining about the same thing for
14 years. Get off your duff and do something about it."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A Little
"f" Friend: Has never seen you cry.
A Big
"F" Friend: Has shoulders soggy from your tears.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A Little
"f" Friend: Doesn't know your parent's first names.
A Big
"F" Friend: Has your parent's phone numbers in they're address book.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A Little
"f" Friend: Knows almost nothing about your family.
A Big
"F" Friend: Knows the medical history, dietary habits and marital
troubles of everyone on your tree.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A Little
"f" Friend: Brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A Big
"F" Friend: Comes early to help you cook and stays late to help
you clean.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A Little
"f" Friend: Calls you at 10 p.m. just to chat.
A Big
"F" Friend: Knows you hate to be called after 9 p.m.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A Little
"f" Friend: Wonders about your romantic history.
A Big
"F" Friend: Could blackmail you with it!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A Little
"f" Friend: When visiting, they act like a guest.
A Big
"F" Friend: When visiting, they open your refrigerator, put they're
feet on the sofa, talks back to your spouse and reprimands your children.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A Little
"f" Friend: Thinks the friendship is over when you argue.
A Big
"F" Friend: Knows that a friendship's not a friendship until you've
had a fight.