Not just a Game...More a Lifestyle

A BREIF HISTORY OF MARCO

Marco is a game invented by a 77 year old man (24th September 1928) named Shane McTease who lives in a hut on a hill in Oxford with his wife Shelly McTease. He is undefeated in the Marco Arena. He IS NOT a God he is just a man who is very very good at MARCO.

Marco is a simple game and above all a POLITE game.

THE MARCO HEIRACHY

When you know the rules of Marco you can the begin to teach it to others, as you do, your knowledge and skill in the game will increase. Shane McTease rewards Loyalty as follows:

10 + People taught: An Angel of Shane McTease.

100 + People taught: A Guard of Shane McTease.

1000000 + People taught: Shane McTease himself (When someone has taught 1000000 people then the current Shane McTease will die, in an act of respectful politeness and the new person will become Shane McTease)

If someone who has taught over 10 people teaches you, they are your angel. If someone who has taught more than 100 people teaches you they are STILL your Angel but are a Guard of Shane McTease.

THE ARENA

ANYWHERE is potentially a Marco Arena. In Marco, there are 2 types of arena: The Demonstrative/ Training Arena (where there are no points) and The Playing Arena. Before the game the highest ranked player should announce where the game is being played and the type of Arena. E.G. The St Barts School demonstrative training arena.

THE GAME

A Game of Marco is played with a ball, preferably the size of a juggling ball. All the competitors (Should be between 3 and 15) get into a circle. There is no need for a referee because players are expected to be polite. The player with the highest ranking in the eyes of Shane McTease Will start by "juggling" the ball.

In Marco there are 4 basic shots, the ball must (almost) always go upwards first:  i) The Normal shot. The ball is hit upwards and continues to a player.

ii) The McTease. The ideal shot. The ball is hit with the flat of the hand so that it goes up and then comes down towards the feet of an opposing player.

iii) The Slapdown. This shot is illegal with one exception (explained below) When the ball is hit directly downwards.

iv) The Tony: When the ball is caught. This is always against the rules.

The ball may be hit with any part of the body.

The player beginning the game will then say: "Marco on the Mind" to which the rest of the circle respond "Marco on the body." This is a polite way of making sure everyone is ready. (The best players will develop a deeper understanding of this chant) As it is the first shot pf the game the server then says "Marco on the soul" to bless the game. And finally " Let's play Marco"

After the server has served then the players are allowed up to 3 hits. Each player in the arena has 3 lives. TREAT THEM LIKE YOUR CHILDREN! They are precious to you. A point is lost when the player either misplaces a shot or drops the ball.

If there is doubt about whos fault a point was then the point goes up to democratic vote of the group. If it is the fault of more than one person then the point vanishes into thin air and is never spoke of again. Of course, in a good Marco game, if it is the fault of one person they should be polite enough to accept their point loss. (This may be congratulated by a handshake.)

THE WALK OF SHANE

When a player has lost all of their lives then the must take the Walk of Shane. At this stage a "pathway" is made through the competitors and the player must walk through it whilst the remaining competitors point and laugh at them. The harder you laugh the more polite it is.

THE FINAL

When there are only two competitors remaining then it is the final This is in Sudden Death, so each player goes down to 1 life. The last person to go out then becomes the judge. At the start of this point the person to have last gone out will say "Marco on the mind" to which the remaining competitors reply "Marco on the Body" and then "Marco on the soul" is said by the Judge and then the final is played like any other round. After the point, the runner-up takes the Walk of Shane and then ALL players make a semi-circle around the winner and whilst bowing say: "Shane McTease (Shelly for girls) would be proud) and the game ends.

EXTRA RULES

The Fish-Fash-Anoo: This is the stage in the game where the slapdown is legal. At any point in play apart from the serve, a player may decide to say "fish" as they hit the ball, the next player can then opt to say "fash" on their next hit (it must only be one hit) then the next player can choose to "ANOO" which is a slapdown toward the feet of an opponent.

If the ball hits them below the knee, they lose a life. If it doesn't the person doing the "Anoo" will automatically take the Walk of Shane. If a player somehow manages to return an Anoo they recieve 2 extra lives.

In the event of non-politeness: Non- politeness is disrespect for the rules, violent behaviour or swearing. In the event of any of these the offender will be given "sticks" In this event they will have to turn around and say sticks until the end of the point. They also lose a life. In the evnt of repeated offences "Shane McTease will beat them with his sausage-like Penis." but this is rare. (and also polite)

Arena: When introducing the D/ T arena the server must tell the competitors that here is a carboard cutout crowd... no one to laugh at them. In a playing Arena the server says: "Welcome to .... arena, the crowds are singing your name, chanting your chant" at which stage competitors or crowd members may chant personal chants (which should be polite.)