But everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means
It's been awhile since I could say that I wasn't addicted
And it's been a while since I could say I love myself as well
And it's been a while since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do
And it's been a while but all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you
But everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered,
I've gone and fucked things up again.
Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away,
Just one more peaceful day
It's been awhile since I could look at myself straight
And it's been a while since I said I'm sorry
And it's been a while since I've seen the way the candles light your face
And it's been a while, but I can still remember just the way you taste
But everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem to be I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me
And it's been a while since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile since I said I'm sorry
Shane McMahon sat in his office, sitting slumped on his couch with a thousand dollars' worth of cocaine on the table in front of him and Matt Hardy between his legs, slurping loudly as he bobbed his head up and down on Shane's cock, his hair falling over his face. Shane tilted his head down to look at him as he reached for his cigarettes and lit one, placing it between his lips and groaning as he shifted hips and threaded his fingers through Matt's dark brown hair, guiding his mouth down on him faster.
He took a long drag off his cigarette and tapped the ashes into the ashtray beside him, watching Matt's quick motions, and he felt the pull in the bottom of his gut as his muscles started to tense. He only gave a soft groan as he finally let go and came with a shiver, watching with a smug grin as the elder of the Hardy brothers tried to swallow his load, part of it spilling down his chin. He looked up and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, his eyes glassy as he looked up expectantly at Shane, who smirked and blew a smoke ring in the air.
"Not bad," he quipped, his tongue moving faster than he could speak, making him sound slurred when in reality he was more alert and wide awake than ever. He looked Matt over one more time then waved his hand toward the door. "You got your title match. Get out of here."
Matt nodded and jumped to his feet, tugging Shane's slacks back up over his thighs, then bowing to him slightly and heading for the door. Shane watched him unti he was gone, then fumbled with his cell phone and clumsily dialed a number, cradling it against his ear with his shoulder as he stood and zipped his pants up then buttoned them.
The phone rang ten times before the other end picked up. Shane sat back down and fished the rolled up 100 dollar bill out of the pile of powder, listening as it sounded like the receiver had been dropped.
"Hello?" the groggy voice on the other end said.
"It's one o'clock in the fucking afternoon, Steph," he growled, picking up a razorblade in his other hand and using it to cut a line separate from the rest of the pile. "What are you still doing in bed?"
"Oh, suck a cock, Shane," she growled quietly.
"Already had that done today," Shane answered, bending his head to inhale sharply, tracing the line with the end of the roll jammed into his nostril.
"Wha--" The other end was quiet for a minute, and Shane could hear the turning of pages. "Oh, yeah. You had a meeting with Hardy. So, what's the call?"
Shane mulled it over for a minute, letting the second line hit him before he answered. "Title shot, no belts."
"That bad?" she replied, sounding slightly amused.
"Too much teeth," he answered, putting out his cigarette and lighting another.
"Ouchie," she giggled. After a moment, she cleared her throat. "So, when are you coming up?"
Shane looked at the clock, squinting his eyes and rubbing his nose absently. "Few hours. Jet leaves at two, so I should be there before dinner."
"You bringing anyone with you?" she asked, her voice sounding a bit muffled.
"Probably not," Shane answered, listening closely. "Steph, what's going on there?"
"What? Oh, nothing," she replied a moment later. "Just some company, that's all."
Shane rolled his eyes. "Hello, Trish."
There was a giggle from the background, and then the sound of an extension being picked up gave way to the husky sound of Trish's voice. "Hey, Shaney. How are you doing?"
Shane rubbed his noise again. "Oh, I'm doing fine. What about you?"
"Oooh, I'm doing just fine..." she replied, purring a little under her breath. "When are you coming to see us?"
Shane chuckled, leaning forward to clean up the coffee table, and pulled a big sterling silver box out from under the couch. "Real soon, Trishy. Real soon."
"Goodie," she whispered. In his mind, Shane could picture her twirling the phone cord around her finger as she stood and purred into the phone. "Are you going to bring us some lovely presents?"
Shane laughed as he pulled a small baggie full of different colored pills out of the silver box. "I always do, don't I?"
Trish giggled girlishly. "Yes, you do. You're always so good to us, Shaney."
"I know," Shane answered, putting the baggie back down into the box and throwing the razorblade and rolled hundred dollar bill in with it. "Are you and Stephy being good girls?"
"Oh, yes," she whispered. "We're being very good girls."
Shane licked his lips, holding open another plastic bag and raking the pile of powder into it, cursing under his breath as some of it dusted the floor. "That's good, Trishy. I'd hate to have to punish you for being bad when I get there."
Trish whispered something to Stephanie that Shane couldn't hear, but then her silky voice was back at his ear. "Oh, Shaney, what if I wanted you to punish me? Pretty please?"
Stephanie cleared her throat loudly. "Stop coming onto my brother! I thought you loved me, you upper whore!"
Trish giggled. "Bye, Shaney. See you when you get here. We're anxiously awaiting your arrival." She hung the phone up and in the background, Shane could hear her giggle again.
"Just hurry up and get here, Shane," Stephanie whined into the receiver. "I hate being here when you're not. It's boring."
Shane rolled his eyes, tucking all of his supplies into the silver box, and shut it carefully. He took a drag off his cigarette before answering. "You just miss me because I've got your whole stash."
"That's ridiculous, Shane," she replied. "You are my stash."
"Very true," Shane mumbled, putting out his cigarette. He was quiet a moment before he coughed. "Talked to Hunter lately?"
Stephanie sighed heavily. "Shane, you know I haven't, and you know if I had, I would have told you."
"Yeah..." Shane replied distractedly.
"Shane, just give it up," Stephanie said harshly. "You know damn well that he's not coming back to you, so just move the fuck on."
Shane gritted his teeth and clenched his fist, feeling the anger shoot up from his toes. "This coming from you, who keeps crawling back into that slut's bed even though she fucks everything with two legs aside from you."
"Fuck you, Shane!" Stephanie shouted suddenly.
The young heir squeezed the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Stephy...I'm sorry. You know I don't mean it when I say that shit. You know it's the blow talking."
Stephanie sniffed quietly, her voice soft and timid. "I know, Shaners. I'm sorry for saying all that, too. Just...just hurry and get here. Please?"
Shane nodded and sat up, pulling his sunglasses out of the pocket on his suit coat that was laying draped over the back of the couch. "On my way, baby. See you in a few."
"Bye, Shaners," Stephanie said softly. "Love you."
"Love you, too, princess." He hung up the phone a moment later and his chin hit his chest, the tears coming unexpectedly. He stayed perfectly still for a long while, his tears falling onto the dry- clean only material of his dress shirt, and his sobs echoed off the walls of his office as he continued to cry.