My mom is like a cheesaholic, man She is so obsessed with cheese, she has cheese perfume, cheese shoes, a cheese bedspread. I mean everything is cheese to her. Anyways, I was making a sandwich and I looked in the refrigerator and didn’t see the cheese. I immediately went to go find my mom, and when I did, I asked, "Mom, can I have a piece of cheese to put on my sandwich?" And she was like, "NO!" And I was like, "but why not?" And she tried to bite me! Then I got scared and went to find my dad. He wasn't hard to find, because he needs to lay off the twinkies, if you know what I mean. I found him laying in his 600 pounds of lard, and I asked him if he knew where mom's emergency hidden stash of cheese was and he said, "No!… If it's not about my twinkies then I don’t care!" I was like, "Fine!" Then I told him to scoot over, because his lard was crowding me. He said, "Well, you need to go away, because I'm too fat to be interrupted during my twinkie-eatin," Then I said, "But Dad, every second of the day is twinkie-eatin time for you!" Then I told him we need a bigger house, so his fat could fit into it. He told me to go away, so I did. And I never finished my sandwich.
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