“Mrs. Travsky, I’m worried about Jeremy. His grades have been falling, he’s been getting into fights, and have you seen the way he dresses? I think that music he listens to influences him…”
The door swung shut, cutting off his mother’s words. Jeremy leaned back in the seat, sighing. It didn’t matter. He knew exactly what his mother would be rambling on about. How his music was turning him into some anti-Christ outcast. He picked at a rip in the arm of the old leather chair he was sitting in, waiting for his guidance counselor to return from her little “session” with his mother.
“Yes, Ms. Sabo, I’ll talk to him about it. We shouldn’t be too long.” Mrs. Travsky said, pushing open the door and stepping inside the small room. She looked over at Jeremy, closing the door behind her, and walked to her chair behind her desk and set down. She continued to look at Jeremy, her hands folded on the desk in front of her, and he looked back at her. They stayed that way for a few minutes, sizing each other up. Finally, Jeremy reached up and brushed a few strands of black hair off of his forehead, revealing a swollen black eye.
Mrs. Travsky sighed. “Jeremy, why do you get into all of these fights? What inspires you to tell the captain of the football team to go have sex with himself?”
As much as it hurt, it took all the will power he had left, not to burst out laughing. He figured that she meant when he told Gary White to go screw himself. He looked at her, and then shrugged.
“He was making me mad.”
“How?”
Jeremy grunted slightly out of frustration and anger as he thought of what happened.
He had been at his locker, searching through the mess for his History book, when he had felt someone shove his shoulder roughly. He stumbled forward, hands out, catching a hold of the cold, metal sides of the locker, preventing his head from coming in contact with the top of it. He had heard a low cruel laugh, and when he turned around, his eyes burned brightly with anger as well as humiliation and a sense of just having lost whatever pride he may have had, he came face-to-face with Gary.
The humiliation and loss of pride stayed, but the anger quickly disappeared, replaced by fear and a hatred for himself, because he was afraid. Summoning up every ounce of courage he had, he stammered out.
“What do you want?”
Gary had grabbed him by his shoulder, holding him in place, his fingers digging painfully into Jeremy’s skin.
“What did you just say to me?”
Jeremy didn’t answer him, but instead sighed and lowered his eyes.
“That’s what I thought, you little maggot!”
Jeremy pretended to be completely absorbed in studying the floor, his heart pounding in his chest.
“Hey… what do we have here?” Gary reached passed Jeremy, into his locker. When he withdrew his hand, he was holding a CD player and a pair of headphones.
“Hey!” Jeremy yelled. Gary looked at him, raising a furry eyebrow.
“What?”
“Leave that alone!” He struggled violently, trying to get out of Gary’s grasp. Gary only tightened the hold he had on him. With his free hand, he pressed the ‘open’ button on the CD player. The top of it sprang open, and Jeremy’s face fell as he saw Gary reach into it and pick up his KoRn CD.
“KoRn? Of course. I wouldn’t expect any less than that. The retard listens to other retards. Makes perfect sense.”
He examined the CD, and Jeremy had felt a dull wave of anger wash over him.
He had just insulted KoRn. Jeremy’s reason for living. Jeremy twisted to the side violently, tearing free from Gary’s grip. Gary looked at him, a mildly amused look on his face. He reached out, attempting to grab the CD from Gary. Gary pulled back his arm sharply, holding the CD back. Jeremy lunged at him and grabbed the CD. He stood, holding it to his chest, breathing heavily.
“Go screw yourself!”
And that’s when the fireworks came. Gary had swung, and ended up hitting Jeremy.
The world had exploded into red light, and at first, there had been no real pain. Then everything had begun to go back to normal, and as Jeremy raised his hand up to his eye, he felt a warm stickiness on his cheek, and that’s when the pain hit.
“That prep cut me, I’m bleeding.” He sourly thought.
Jeremy had looked wide-eyed at Gary. It wasn’t the first time that he had been hit by this jock, but all the other times he had felt pathetic afterwards, now he just was angry. He jumped at Gary, taking him by surprise and knocking him to the ground. Jeremy had gotten in one lucky punch before the Algebra teacher had poked his head out of his classroom door to see what the yelling was about. He separated the two, and then ordered them both to go to the office.
Jeremy sighed lightly, and then looked back to Mrs. Travsky.
“He was messing around with my property, and he um, insulted…”
“Who?” asked Mrs. Travsky
.”KoRn.”
Mrs. Travsky shook her head. “A band. You got in a fight over a band?”
“Hey they’re…”
Mrs. Travsky held up her head, cutting him off. “Jeremy as it stands right now, you’re not getting the full blame for this. Gary threw the first punch; so technically, the fight was his fault.”
“Damn straight.” Jeremy muttered under his breath.
“But you also hit him, and the punishment Mr. Anderson thinks that you deserve is two days detention.”
“What!? Self-defense!” Jeremy cried out.
“Jeremy, I would be happy with just two days of detention. You know that this school has zero-tolerance for violence.”
Jeremy scowled, leaning back into his seat. Mrs. Travsky looked down at Jeremy’s black KoRn shirt, and then sighed.
“And about this band, KoRn…”
He looked up sharply.
“Your mother thinks that this band may be influencing your actions. The way you dress and the way you act.”
Jeremy shook his head violently. “No way, KoRn is the best.”
Mrs. Travsky continued, not letting him interrupt her. “Your mother thinks it would be a good idea if you stopped listening to them. And frankly, I think it would be too.”
Jeremy looked at her in shock. Stop listening to KoRn? She sighed, and then looked back at him.
“What do you think about this?”
He took a deep breath. “I think it is complete and utterly bullcrap!”
“What?” Mrs. Travsky furrowed her eyebrows. “We do not use that kind of language here.”
“Well it is! You just don’t seem to get it!”
She tilted her head to the side, studying him. “Get what?”
“How much KoRn means to me! If I’m ever depressed, or lonely, I know I have them, they’re always going to be there! They have helped me in so many ways! They’re like… like guardians, you know? Heroes. And I’m not the only one they’ve helped… you should hear some of the stories out there!” He paused for a minute, biting his lower lip.
“Jeremy,” Mrs. Travsky said softly, “you can’t act like this band is going to take away your problems.”
“I know they’re not. But they can help me get through them. They give me the strength to work them out, instead of doing something totally stupid…” He trailed off.
“Why did you choose this band then? Just answer me that.”
“I chose them because they know.”
“Okay, would you care to explain that to me?” She asked.
He looked away from her, not quite sure if he could make her understand. “I’m not sure if you’d get it…”
“Try me.”
“I chose KoRn because they’ve been through a lot… especially the lead singer, Jonathan. He knows what it’s like to be an outcast, and depressed. He’s like a role model for me.”
“Why?”
“Because… he went through all of this crap,” he looked at her quickly. “Uh, sorry. Anyways, he went through all this stuff when he was younger, he was depressed a lot, I mean, he knew what it was like to be different. He got picked on a lot too; because of the way he looked. But, it was the way he chose to look, and even though he was insulted time after time, he didn’t try to change himself.” He glanced over at her, desperately wanting her to understand what he was trying to say. “But, he’s still here, you know? He didn’t take the easy way out… he didn’t kill himself, or anything like that. And, I guess that I just really admire that about him.”
Mrs. Travsky didn’t say anything, just sat there, studying the boy in front of her. Finally she said softly, “This band means a lot to you, doesn’t it, Jeremy?”
He nodded vigorously, his long, black hair flying into his face. “KoRn means the world to me, Mrs. Travsky.”
“What would happen if you couldn’t listen to them anymore?”
Jeremy looked at her, then said, rather hesitantly, “I would loose it. KoRn is kind of my life preserver, you know? Whenever it gets too bad at home, or I have a run in with someone like Gary White, I listen to KoRn because they’re always going to be there for me, and” he looked down again, “all their other fans.”
Mrs. Travsky nodded slowly, and then stood up, a thoughtful expression on her face. She looked out towards the door.
“Hang on a second, Jeremy, I have to go discuss something with your mother.”
“Okay,” Jeremy said hesitantly. He watched her walk out of the room, chewing on his thumbnail nervously. She opened the door, and then closed it behind her, failing to shut it all the way.
“Ms. Sabo?”
“Yes?” came his mother’s anxious voice.
“About Jeremy’s music…”
“What about it?”
“Let him listen to it.”
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