| [The show opens to footage of a news report, where an anchorwoman is sitting at a desk, with a still of Shane and Sean meeting at Incidental 2 in the corner.]
News Woman: Last year at around this time, two sports-entertainment rivals met in the center of the squared-circle. These two men, Shane-o-mac Bry and Sean O'Connor, went almost an hour in the first EVER Cinco Cell Sacrifice match... with Sean finally coming out on top in the fifth fall. But, after the match, Shane rose up, and along with a newly reformed sWo, took out the SWC Chairman. What follows are the words he spoke on that night of April 6th, 2003... "I told you all so long ago that I would cause this federation to DIE, just like all the rest of those other pathetic federations I had the misfortune to be a part of. I might have not been the direct cause of it, but you can be damn sure I had a bit part in the SwC's destruction. Sean...I just have this to say...I'm so sorry it had to end this way. I really am. I wish we could have been friends...but just like so many others, you had to have the say so. It always had to be your way or the highway. Well, looks like I had it my way in the end, Sean-o-mac. I know what's best for business, and I know what's best for the future, and if anyone disagrees...then there just ISN'T a future. I am the epitome' of greatness, for in every endeavor I take part in, I have the ability to add so much. But when I'm misused, I have the ability to take an organization to the depths of obsoletion. In short, I am THE Franchise. Not Deep Heat. Not Adio. Not even Shadow himself. No, I AM. But the fool Sean just didn't see it that way, did he? Well Sean, look what's happened?! Because you didn't have the guts to evolve, this federation has crumbled, fell apart, and withered away. Just like your dreams. And why is that? Because you didn't have the guts to give the belt to the only man that truly deserved to hold that title all along: ME. Sure, maybe I'm a bit self-centered, but why shouldn't I be? It's not my fault that there's not anything else as important enough to care about. So all of the ones that ridiculed me when I was here, you can shove it, cuz I tried to show you the err of your ways. You didn't listen. I tried to show you a new way. You didn't pay attention. And now that the SwC is gone, you come to ME for help? Sorry, don't think so. You made your bed, and now you must die in it. I shall leave you with the words I spoke when I first stepped foot in an SwC ring for the first time, and every single one of you shrugged me off; "I was in the XHW, and within a month, they kicked me out because I killed the greatest faction in their history...before the sWo. Then, after a week of my entrance to the XWF, they closed shop. Coincidence? I think not. Then there was the EWS. I brought in the sWo as soon as that fed opened, and now look at where they are. The sWo won every single title in that fed, and we left just because it became too boring at the top. And now, the SwC shall become just another victim to the poison known as the sWo. Soon, SwC shall be added to the list of feds that were just...too...weak. SWC... welcome to the list." News Woman: Unfortunately for Shane, it seems as though the battle that he thought he had ended... has only just begun. Sean O'Connor has returned to the business, and has brought his company up from the murky depths. While on the other side of the spectrum, Shane has recreated HIS federation that he had closed over two years ago. These two companies are now in the beginning stages of a heated war... that will not end until only one of these federations stands tall. News Woman: Who will come out on their own two feet... and who will not come out at all? The battle has begun... and the sport has reached a Breaking Point. ==================================================================== ============= |The news clip cuts to the voice of that midget woman from Poltergeist narrating a few scenes.| When a man is judged by everything he has ever done... BJ: BY GAWD! BY GAWD! BY GAWD! MegaDef has chokeslammed Sean O'Connor straight... to... HELL!!! Or everything he has ever said... MB: Sean... welcome to the newest member of the sWo, and the WCWF's NEW commisioner... MEGADEF!!! Whether he has achieved greatness... BJ: Russo pulls Edje down by the feet, and the IC-US title has come along with him! EDJE IS THE NEW CHAMPION!!! Or utter defeat... BJ: By Gawd, from behind, Hack and Slash have just wasted the Mario Boyz with dem dam steel chairs!!! They're lyin' in a by Gawd pool a' their own blood!!! No man will reach his destiny, until he's reached his ultimate rival eye-to-eye... [Shot of Da Dead Guy staring at Triple S, as Trips holds the Job-a-thon title at the end of Wrasslemania 48.] Some men's eyes burn with darkness... [Shot of Krane standing in a ring of fire on stage at the second WCWF Nitro...] While other's eternally rest in the heavens... [Shot of XtrmkOR LOOKING at Krane... before being soundly pounded.] Some men's eyes are just now adjusting to the light... BJ: BORG CUTTER, BORG CUTTER, BORG CUTTER!!! DDB has risen out of absolutely NOWHERE with da by Gawd Borg Cutter!!! While others forever rest in the shadows... [Shot of Saturday Night Freeze, where the Tron shows the words "Breaking Point...", "The Show is Born...", "...Again.".] And in the end, all things will reach a head... before reaching... [A quick-paced montage of the past five shows; The End 2, Wrasslemania, both Nitros, and Freeze, ending on three words...] The Breaking Point. ================================================================================= [The cameras open inside the Gordon Gardens Arena, where BJ is at his desk by the stage, eating his last stash of chocolate covered cashews, preparing for his title defense. The pyro starts off at the stage, startling fat boy, and make their way all the way down the ramp, before blasting off around the ring. "Unstable" by Adema rocks the joint, as the fans in attendance are shouting their approval of the epic event that has arrived her, right in St. Louis. Signs are strewn across the stands, signs for the sWo |both for AND against| as long as a smattering of cheaply written signs for the SWC superstars |and they say the British are more litterate than the Amricans?|] [The music plays on, as we turn the cameras over to the British announce team, aka, Jamie of the East and Demon from SWC. Hang on to your seats, we're entering sh!t central...] (Yeesh, soddin' American narrata'... anyhell, this is Troy, the British narrata', and now, let's hear what the greatest band of fellas in the world of commentin' have ta say, eh?) Jamie: “Now its time for what we call in this business a ‘squash’. “ Demon: “That’s right Jamie, BJ might as well die now and save himself some embarrassment in this next match; everyone knows he wont win and we will have a brand new champion, in the form of the very cool Sketch!” (The fat BJ makes his way to the ring, well, quite slowly actually, he must be eatin’ a lot of good ol’ pork covered in that good ol’ BBQ sauce. Soon, if he gets any fatter, he’s gonna have a good ol’ heart attack and be taken to good ol’ intensive care! BJ grabs a microphone and begins to speak:) BJ: “Chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiicken!” (Suddenly, Blink 182’s “Down” plays and the crowd goes unglued as new guy Sketch makes his way down to the ring; he looks at BJ’s British title and grabs a microphone) Sketch: “Hey, yo’ so fat dat the grease comin’ from yo’ pores are corroding the title gold away with rust!” (The crowd cheer. BJ looks BEMUSED) Sketch: “I’m here to represent, motha fuckas! If anyone got a problem with that they can SUCK MA TITTAYS!” (Sketch removes the shades and the crowd instantly goes even more hyper, especially the chicks in the audience. The bell rings and the slob runs out of the ring. The crowd boos and the ref starts to count; he gets to 10 and the ref announces a count out victory to Sketch which means he doesn’t win the title!!! The entire crowd boo and jeer their lil and big lungs out. Sketch is livid and is about to clobber the ref one when Sean O’Connor, the owner of the company makes his way out to the stage with a microphone in hand! The crowd boo him.) Sean O’Connor: “There is no way that you’re not losing you’re title here tonight BJ! I don’t like you sketch but this fat fuck is associated with Shane-O-Mac Bry and needs to be humiliated, so I’m making another match right now, for the title and this time, there aint No Disqualifications!” (The crowd cheer and Sean begins to stomp on BJ before security take him away. Sketch grabs the mic again) Sketch: You here that fatty bum-bum?? Hey, check this out!” (Sketch grabs a BBQ set form under the ring and starts grilling pork and cheese with it. As soon as the aroma hits BJ’s big nose, he is in the ring faster than Elton John’s exit from the audience at Miss World. Sketch grabs BJ and hits a huuuuuuge DDT onto the BBQ grill which burns half of BJ’s face off. He goes for the pin,1…2…3… Sketch is the winner and new SWC British champion! The crowd go wild as Sketch celebrates by touching his sexay body and holding up the title to show all his adoring fans! Sketch is British champion!) [Sketch throws the strap over his shoulder, and walks out of the ring and to the back... and as soon as Ben makes his way to the ropes, draping his head on the bottom... "Back in Black" strikes up, and black and white spotlights flash across the arena. The fans proceed to boo like crazy, as our chairman, Shane-o-mac Bry, steps out through the curtains... microphone in hand. Shane stares daggers at his number one contender... the man that has stuck by his side through thick and thing, and- MB: YOU'RE FIRED!!! BJ: Wha... MB: From the sWo, that is. You are no LONGER a part of my stable, meaning you'll have to fend off all those autograph seekers yorself! No man that loses to some worthless, talentless SWC scum is going to be on MY side. From now on, you will still be commentator... but with HALF the pay! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! BJ: Bu... MB: And BJ, you can't do a damn thing about it, because you KNOW nobody's going to hire your ass! Now, get back to your post, and call the next match. NOW!!! BJ: Yuh... yes sir... ["Boomer Sooner" plays on the speakers |sorta degradingly...| and Good ol' BJ steps out of the ring with a disdained look on his chubby face... He stomps up the ramp, and takes a seat at the table, before strapping on the headset.] BJ: Folks... I... Folks... erm... dammit, I can't work under these conditions... I... I... [And at that exact momet, James Brown's "I feel good" hits and out struts the Cat, Ernest Miller! And ladies and gentlemen, you didn't think it was possible, but BJ is now feeling WORSE. Losing the title... losing his sWo backing... losing his sanity by sitting next to the Cat... this just isn't his day.] Cat: Hey! I thought I could cheer ya up, seein' as how you were looking like you were about to commit suicide over here! Wanna see me dance? BJ: No... but I have a feeling I don't have a choice... Cat: GREAT! Hit my music! [Cat rises up, and starts to dance... but instead of a bit of jazz... we get aLOT of Aerosmith's "Jaded"! Here he comes folks, the great and powerful Edje! The consumer of souls, and the denizen of darkness!!! He emerges through the entrance, IC-US title around his waist, black trenchcoat and black hair swaying in the air. He stops at the stage... and turns an eye toward the Cat, who's dancing to the wrong music |jackass...|. Edje smiles... and as soon as Cat spots the man before him-] BJ: SPEAR! SPEAR! SPEAR! And folks, I think I gots me a brand new favorite wrassler! Thank you Edje!!! [Edje picks himself up off the split body of the Cat, and sprints down the ramp, before sliding in and leaping on top of the turnbuckle... staring out at the crowd, as they're in an uproar for the IC-US champion... Edje unstraps the belt, and lifts it in the air, as the cheers only get louder. He hops off the post, and stands in the center of the ring, awaiting the arrival of the first man... but interview-girl Trinity rushes down the ramp and up to Jack Hoff on the outside, and whispers something into his ear...] Hoff: Folks, it has just come to my attention that Captain Canada will not be able to make it tonight, due to being caught behind a herd of moose on Interstate EH-95 in Yukon. So, this three man gauntlet is now a TWO man gauntlet. So, without further adieu, please welcome from Fishinchips, England... Richard Regal!!! ["Anarchy in the U.K." by Sex Pistols plays over the speakers, and the out of shape man with the British dental plan steps out through the entry-way with the customary yellow-toothed grin that's all the rage in England... Richard stands on the stage, wearing his velvet wrestling shorts and boots, gazing down at his opponent, and waves a hand daintily in the air... before skipping down the ramp like the little English Muffin he is. Rich hops onto the apron, wipes off his feet like Gorgeous Greg of the old WWWCWF, and steps into the ring... and Edje immediately catches him with a boot to the mush, dropping him on the canvas. The ref signals for the bell, and this one is underway. Edje lays in stomp after stomp to the back of Rich's head, as the snobbish Brit tries desperately to shield himself... but no use. Edje lifts Rich to his feet, whips him into the ropes, ricochets off the other set, and collides into Rich in the middle of the ring with the clothesline, that sends Rich twisting awkwardly in the air... before crushing to the mat in a heap. Edje bounces off the ropes... rushes toward the body of Rich, and drops a double elbow on the back of Regal. Edje hooks Regal into a single leg crab... but Regal has already passed out, because, let's face it, HE'S BRITISH. Unfortunately, passing out does NOT constitute as TAPPING out... so Regal is still in this thing! Yay for him! Edje breaks off the hold, and creeps over to the turnbuckle... he climbs up top... Rich slowly climbs up to his feet by the ropes, panting heavily... before Edje leaps off the post and catches him with the dragonrana, and the pin: 1... 2... but Edje simply stands up! He didn't even wait for the 3! Edje is REALLY wanting to inflict punishment into Regal. Maybe he's envisioning this man as every single one of those damn Brits that took it to him over the course of his SWC career...] [Edje slopes down over Regal's carcass, and sends the knuckles driving straight into his face, crushing the bones under his fingers... feeling the blood spurt out like a geyser... Edje lays off, and picks Regal up to a standing position... before hopping in the air, and bringing him down with a tornado ddt. Edje drapes himself over Rich for the pin, gets a two, and lifts Richard's shoulder off the mat! He smiles, goes for ANOTHER cover, and pulls off the same crap! This man is VILE! Edje scrapes Rich off the mat one more time, and goes for an irish whip... but instead of releasing and sending Regal into the ropes, Edje pulls Rich back in with the short-arm, and slams him down with the Lo-Down, aka- BJ: DA EDJAMACATOR! DA EDJAMACATOR!!! BY GAWD DAMM, DA EDJAMACATOR!!!!! Richard Regal has just been Edjamacated into the fiery pits!!! He's finished!!! [Edje drops for the cover, and merely places one finger on the chest of the British B!tch... and picks up a one... two... three. Richard Regal |mercifully| eliminated. "Mucha Lucha" plays, and El Enchirito Deluxe' makes his way out... but as he gets through the ropes and into the ring... Edje has layed down flat on his back... Now what the fVck is going on in this boy's head? EED stands above Edje, staring down at the champ... and kicks his side. But Edje stays put. EED looks out at the crowd... and down at Edje... EED goes for the cover; 1................................ 2............................... the referee scratches his head quizically, and: 3!!! Enchirito has won the championship!!!] BJ: Wha... what da... WHAT IN DA BLUE BLAZES OF BLUE HELL IS GOIN' ON HAR!!! Edje has just layed down fer dat Mexi-cann, and has just lost it all!!! [Edje quickly nippups, and tosses Enchirito over the top rope. Edje looks out at the crowd... and tosses down the black wig! AND the trenchcoat! Edje reaches out and whips a microphone out of Hoff's hands, before lifting it up to his mouth. But, he can't be heard very well over all the jeering and booing rising from the audience...] Edje: Shane... I have no use for being here anymore. Ever since you fired Russo, the man that REALLY got me my shot at greatness, things just haven't been the same. I relied on him to show me the way here... but without him... the WCWF is a pile of crap. And I will no longer associate with this pile of crap. I QUIT!!! SWC, here I come! [Edje slams the mic to the mat, sending a crackle resonating throughout the arena, and stomps out of the ring, with Green Day's own "Jaded" playing over the PA...] Demon: "Yay! Ed has come back home!!!" Jamie of The East: "So?" Demon: "He's my favorite superstar!" Jamie of The East: "That doesn't surprise me..." Demon: "..." Jamie of The East: “This next match should be a hell of a debut for SWC’s latest and greatest signing, Pyro” Demon: “I havent actually seen or know anything about him yet Jamie…” Jamie: “Then your name should be Jonathan Coachman because he knows fuck all about commentary!” Demon: “I know I’m crap, but if I didn’t have to spend all my time on my farm drivin’ my traccors then maybe I could spend more time practising commentary and not make an ass of myself on national TV…” (System of a down plays and the man, Radium makes his way out to the ring. The crowd give him a warm reception because he is an SWC veteran and although he has lost a few matches, is already elevated higher than all of the WCWF roster. Remember it was at Lost Cause 2002 that Radium was chokeslammed through a flaming table; will he be able to handle the fire against SWC’s newest star, Pyro??? Slipknot’s “Pulse of the Maggots” plays on the PA system and out comes Pyro. The crowd really cheer for him because it’s a London crowd and they are used to great fires. Huge fire balls swish on the stage and the 6ft pyromaniac walks down the ramp and climbs onto the apron of the ring. There he drinks some petrol, takes a torch and spits the petrol at it making ahuge flame in the sky, just like HHH’s water spit except non-pussy. Pyro faces Radium in the ring and the two stare each other down. Radiums eems fairly intimidated… it would be interesting to find out which of these 2 men has the biggest cock.) (The bell rings and immediately the 2 tie up. They both try and take the upperhand but neither manages to do so until Pyro forces Radium into the turnbuckle and slaps him one time. The dumb crowd go “woooooooo” which is really annoying. Pyro then sets Radium up on the tuop of the turnbuckle andhits a legscissors, taking Radium down hard to the mat. Pyro then points to the turnbuckle and dances. He climbs up to the top and aims to hit a moonsualt! Radium moves out of the way at the last second however and Pyro crashes to the mat. Radium goes for the pin, 1…2…Pyro kicks out with authority! Radium aims to deliver some right hands to Pyro but he begins to get Hulked up by“Hulking up” to a hulked-up state like the Undertaker… The crowd proper get behind Pyro as |Radium cant keep him down, even with the great punches he’s giving Pyro. All of a sudden Pyro takes charge, whips Radium to the ropes and delivers a big boot knocking Radium to the ground. Pyro then sets up Radium for his special move which is a nasty back breaker off the turnbuckle. He hits it and the crowd go “holy shit” because it does look well bad. Radium falls to a broken crumple on the floor as Pyro covers him, 1…2…3… Pyro wins his debut match and looked damn impressive as well.) [The Tron sparks to life as the SWC combatants clear the ring. We open to a cemetary, with static merged with the vision. The scene is a bit jerky... but as the camera zooms in closer and closer to a single gravestone, that Poltergeist midget starts up again |she must be desperate for work nowadays...|] "His life has changed since we last knew him... his world has been turned upside down by the forces of evil... A world that was once straight and narrow, defined by his excellence in all fields... in now broken and chipped, torn asunder by the treachory of a man he once called 'friend'. Everything he knew... destroyed." [The camera comes to the gravestone, and as soon as the name on the head is about to become decipherable... the screen cuts out abruptly, to pitch black.] "Everything he once was... gone forever. This is the eve of the finale'... this... is... Stung." [The lights black out... and come back on, with Hoff standing in the ring.] Hoff: LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL... *pant, pant* [pay-per-view sized intro] ...LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen!!! Do not be alarmed by the preceding technical difficulties. Everything will be alright... well, atleast for Shane-o-mac Bry, because, even if you DO decide to leave, there will be NO refunds. So, sit back, relax, and watch as the sWo totally tear up dem darn Marioz! "Yeah, we comin' down..." [A spark of pyro trails through the air, and sets off a massive set of explosions on stage... before the Marioz new theme hits; "M Gonna Give it to Ya" by DMX, featuring Captain Lou Albano. Mario and Luigi come out on stage, waving the peace signs in the air, as the crowd goes nutter-butters. Mario heads down one side of the aisle, Luigi down the other, both of them slappin' five with the fans... Oddly, Luigi's side seems to be slightly less unthusiastic as Mario's...] [The Brotherz slide into the ring, and take their posts on top of the turnbuckles, and lift the peace signs once more... before the camera goes to static and black and white mode! Folks, it's time to get down with the most rebellious group of sports-entertainers in the world of professional wrestling today! And being rebellious when you actually own the company is quite hard, lemme tell ya... Hack and Slash make their prescence felt, and the folks in the bleachers are letting the tandem know they hate them. And I don't mean "Don't ya just hate Mondays?" kinda hate, I mean HATE hate. The kinda hate that makes ya do stupid things like run into the middle of the ring for no reason.] [And speak of the devil, here comes a random fan in a Stung mask and black trenchcoat. The fan goes for Hack and Slash with a bat, but quickly gets knocked back down on the ground with a double big boot from our tag champs. The rowdy fan rolls out of the ring... and the lights begin to flash like thunder! HE'S HEEEE-EEEERE!!!] [Hack and Slash's eyes look worried... and so do the rest of their over-the-hill bodies! Hack taps Slash on the shoulder, and points to the rafters... and the both of them look up, where standing on a steel girder, holding onto a cable, and crow resting on his shoulder... is the Showman. Stung stares down coldly at the sWo's premier tag team... appropriately enough, as they're their ONLY tag team. Stung pulls the black bat out of his trench... and points it down at Hack and Slash. The two men motion for the Stunger to come on down and get him some... but suddenly, the Marioz roll both of them up in a schoolboy!!! The lights return to normal, and the ref makes the count:] 1... 2... 3!!! BJ: YES!!! Suck on that, Mac Bry!!! NOW who's fired?! ... Uh... I guess I am, still... Hoff: Your winners, and NEW Tag Team champions of the world... Mario Mario, and Luigi Mario... the Mariooooooooo Boyz! [The Marioz hold the titles high in the air, soaking in their thousand hundredth tag title victory. As soon as the sWo turn around and look at the Boyz, they high-taill it on out of there before they get their asses pounded like... a can of pounded ass. Hack and Slash look furious... before looking up at the rafters... but no Stung. Slash climbs up top the turnbuckle, and stares on in anger... losing the only thing that really meant anything to him... as Hack is lying on the mat, having had another heartattack. Slash picks Hack up over his shoulder and takes him backstage to throw some cold water over his head to wake him up. He has more health problems than the Mario Boyz have tag team title reigns... anyway we now throw it back to the announce position at ringisde, for the last two SWC bouts. Let's try and get this over quick...] Jamie: “Hey yall, here’s something quite special now dudes and dudettes; a reunion of the 2nd best group in SWC ever, D:tas!!!! They have dubbed this night D:tas 2004!” Demon: They were gay in 2002 and they’re gay now…” Jamie: “Yeh but….oh you’re right, wanna grab a coffee?” Demon: “I really do…” (Centurion and the Bounty make their way down to the ring after a great absence. The crow dgive them a fairly warm reception even though they were always perceived as the underdogs even though they did have some success. The crowd suddenly roar as Hot Action Cop’s “Fever for the flava” plays on the speakers and the Friday Night crew make their way down to the ring in their banged up shopping trolley. They crash down at the bottom of the ring, fall out and climb into the ring. The Tag team champions, Deathstar and King Coleman are about to defend their titles against………….D:tas! The bell rings; Deathstar and The Bounty square up first. Deathstar takes Bounty into a headlock then knocks him to the ropes and tries to smack him down to the ground. The Bounty has it covered however and knocks big D down to the ground. The Bounty then tags in Centurion who calls for…the Banzai drop!! He places Deathstar in the corner and is about to drop onto him when all of a sudden, Deathstar gives a low blow to Centurion; half the crowd cringe because it is likely only the male contingent of the crowd will know how that feels, having testicles and all… Deathstar jumps towards Coleman and tags him in; at the same time, Centurion tags in his partner, The Bounty. Coleman clothelines The Bounty, then again, and then again…that makes 3 if you are counting. Coleman goes for his special move, the Full Nelson Slam, but Bounty counters it by pushing him to the ropes and hitting a swinging neckbreaker on his return. The Bounty tags in Centurion again. Centurion tries to go for Coleman, but Coleman pushes him into the referee, knocking him down to the mat. The Bounty tries to come in to stop the madness, but Deathstar hits him with some rights and lefts and knocks the Bounty right out of the ring. Deathstar and The Bounty brawl on the outside. All of a sudden, High Priest runs down to the ring! He looks Coleman in the eyes and then grabs Centurion and hits a huge sit down powerbomb! You can hear High Priest shout “BASTARD!” as he pulls the referee back into the ring. King Coleman covers Centurion, 1…..2…..3….. Deathstar and King Coleman are still the champions!) (Deathstar and King Coleman grab their belts as High Priest accompanies them back up the ramp. Centurion and The Bounty look pissed; great comeback for D:tas!!!) Jamie: “And now, the Undisputed title will be put on the line! Shadowman takes on Adio Slim for the biggest prize in the game; remember, Adio Slim fucked off with the title after Summersmash 2003 but tonight Shadowman gets the chance to extract sweet retribution against his former tag team partner.” (Jay Z’s “99 Problems” plays on the speakers and Shadowman makes his way down to the ring and awaits the Undisputed champion….no one comes. “Masturbating” Mark Lloyd makes his way to the ring and says that Adio Slim has fucked off again with the title so it wont be contested for here tonight. ) Shadowman: “Yeh, OK, I got a football match tonight any way, I’ll kill Adio another time…” A shot goes to Adio’s house where is watching Coronation Street with a cup of tea and the title around his waist. Adio: “Ah, this is the life….cheers” [The Tron shuts down, and Shadowman has made his way backstage... and Jack Hoff has taken to the ring, for the final introduction of the night.] Hoff: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages... the following contest is the WCWF World Heavyweight Title match... and is an Anywhere Falls contest! Four men, from different walks of life, will meet inside this arena... beginning right here in this very ring, and reaching out into the very depths of this building, until only one remains... as the WCWF's main mein. Tonight, three men will fall, and only ONE will walk out... as the WCWF.... Heavyweight... Champion... of the Woooooooooooooooooooooooooorld! Ladies and gentlemen... are... you... ready? [pop] I said.... are... you... rrrrrrrrrrrrrrready. [bigger pop] For the millions in attendance, and the one person glued to their computer like a dork at home... LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLet's... Hoff: ... Hoff: Line? [guy a little off camera, "Let's Get Ready to Rumble"] Oh yeah. LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLet's get ready... to... mumble? [guy, "That's, rumble."] Grumble? ["RUMBLE."] Stumble? ["RUMBLE, DAMN YOU, RUMBLE!!!"] LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLet's get ready to rumble, damn you, RUMBBBBBBLLLLLLEEEEEE!!!!!! [The arena is engulfed in darkness... A gong sounds... before dark blue lights are cast across the stage and purple mist swallows the ramp. The Tron shows the words, "The Day of Judgement has Arrived...", "... He is Ready to Rule". 'Tempus Vernum' by Enya resonates over the speakers, the hard beat of the song's drum echoing through the halls, as a set of torches on either side of the ramp instantly light up... wait... where'd those things come from? Smaul Derrier walks out, holding the gold encrusted bedpan high in the air... yes, the gold encrusted bedpan, the very one that DDG's father died in the hospital straining on. Very sad story... which holds a moral that stands true to this day; never eat hospital prunes.] [DDG climbs up the stairs, Smaul carrying the tail of Guy's long, black trenchcoat in his free hand. DDG bows his head, and slowly raises his hands... as the lights return one by one... DDG lifts his head, and the camera pans into his eyes, rolled into the back of his skull. And I just thought of something... wasn't there supposed to be a Shanecore title match on this card? You know, Krane vs Trike, giant vs the little killer? Very odd... Shane didn't even think up a stupid excuse for the match's non-occurence to hide his extreme laziness... VERY odd...] [DDG climbs into the ring, and turns toward Smaul... who still raises the pan to the air. DDG lowers to one knee, bows his head, and extends an open palm to the heavens, embracing the golden bedpans's mighty power. *THWACK* Out of the blue, SSS bonks his plastic Tiny Toons mallet over DDG, which only enfuriates the monster. DDG stands up, and turns around. Trips took the first strike... however unfathomably stupid it may have been. DDG grips his hand around SSS's throat... and receives the kick to the nads, forcing him to release his hold. "Self - Hand - Job!" is shouted over the PA, and a blast of pyro sets off on stage, before DDB flies down from the back, through the aisle, and under the bottom rope to join the frackas.] [Borg drops Trips with a clothesline, goes toward DDG... and receives a big boot to the mush! DDB stumbles back a few steps... right into a full-nelson suplex from Trips! Trips uses the bridge to pick up a two count, before rolling out of the ring, and heading back to the ramp. DDG sees this, and ricochets off one set of ropes, runs toward the side with Trips, and leaps over the top rope! He's going for the flying clothesline!!! And he nails it! On the barricade! Triple S was about half-way up the ramp by the time DDG took to the air... Trips chuckles, walking backwards.... right into a brick wall of a man. Trips turns around, and comes big nose to big chest with the man himself... MEGADEF. And folks, all four participants are now in and around the ring, and the bell has sounded! This one's official! MegaDef stares down clodly into the beady little eyes of Triple S... before latching his meaty hook around Trips forehead... and lifting him off the ground!!! MY GOD, THE STRENGTH OF THIS MAN!!! Def simply tosses Trips forwards, and the champion rolls all the way down the ramp before crashing back-first into the ring apron! Def quickly turns around, and heads back up the ramp, and through the curtains... it looks as if he's ready to meet Trips somewhere else in the arena... We turn our cameras to the back, where Def is walking past a soda machine... and BAM!!! Trike is thrown straight through a wall! By... Krane! It looks as though that match HAS been going on, all this time! Krane stomps over to the new hole, before turning an eye toward Def... probably the only man that towers over the ex-radio psychologist. Krane backs up a few steps... SLAMMAGE! From behind, MegaDef had a chair driven into his back by... Da Dead Guy? Boy, Trips must be out of it... or could he possibly be afraid? ... Naaah...] [Def drops to a kneee, and DDG grabs onto his hair... before Krane smashes into him with the clothesline! Krane collides with his brother, sending him tumbling to the cement floor. Now why did Krane do THAT? Krane follows after DDG, stomping him all the while... and NOW here comes Triple S from stage left! The Heavyweight champion sneaks up to Def from behind, with an M.C. Hammer CD in towe! He lifts the album over his head... but before he even brings down the disk, Def has been wiped out! There, standing before Triple S, is none other than the monster himself, UG!!! And by his side, is old man Father Time! Triple S looks at these two men, standing over the fallen body of the sWo's golden boy... and SSS laughs. He's actually laughing! THIS WAS A SET UP!!! Triple S has alligned himself with "Pretty" Boyy Toyy's ex-team mates! Wait... don't tell me... this is the NEW D-Evolution!!! Father Time... UG... and the World Heavyweight Champion, Triple S!!! Now THIS is a clique, if I ever saw one! But wait... what's that crawling out of the rubble from the hole in the wall... it's... Trike! Trike has gained his senses, and is walking upright! But not for long, as Triple S's jobber sense is tingling, and he quickly lays poor Trike Cycley out with the Pedicure! And... whoa, wait a minute, he's going for the cover: 1... 2... 3! WHAT?! Triple S has seemingly just taken advantage of the stipulation that states "Any man who pins any guy even remotely involved in ANYTHING to do with the Shanecore title... is the new Shanecore champion.". We have a NEW Shanecore champion!!! The referee hands the title over to Trips, who smiles at the new gold in his hands... this man's ADDICTED to the gold... and not any healthy Eddie Guerrero addiction... well... uhm... you know what I mean. Triple S hands the strap over to Time to hold till Trips finishes his real business. The camera switches over to the traveling Krane, who is still rolling Da Dead Guy along the pavement... right on through the garage door, and out into the streets! Anything can happen in an anywhere falls match, folks! ANYTHING! In fact, here comes Smaul Derrier with the bedpan! He takes a swing at the back of Krane's head... but somehow, the giant feels it coming, and ducks... and Smaul ends up clobbering DDG in the face!!! DDG stumbles backwards... right into a BORG CUTTER!!!!! Whoa, I didn't know Borg was in this match! Weird... Borg goes down for the pin cover: 1................ 2................... 3!!! Da Dead Guy has been eliminated, thanks to Krane's interference! And sorta thanks to Smaul...] [Derrier croushes down to console his son... but DDG clenches him by the throat! DDG rises up, holding onto Smaul's neck... big boot from behind! Smaul sidesteps out of the way, allowing DDG to feel the full brunt of the attack by Krane... and Smaul turns toward Krane... and Smaul extends his arms out to his other son! And the two embrace! I can't believe it... another swerve! Smaul has turned on the Phucktard, and has joined the Big Red Radio Psychologist!!! This is a main event worthy of... well... the main event! Krane lifts the chubby Derrier onto his massive shoulder, and carries him off into the night... as Borg is left smiling at the defeated DDG on the road... DDB lifts the rectangle sign into the air... and... BOOM!!!] [Boom indeed. Def just wasted Borg with a DVD recorder! DDB drops like a sack of empty YJStinger cans, and it looks like he's out of it... Def climbs over DDB, and hooks the leg: 1, 2, 3. Def has just eliminated the People's Pick, and it's down to two: MegaDef... and Triple S. Who just so happens to be rushing out into the streets at this very moment... Def stares at the champion... and Def wants it, he needs it, he craves it, he desires it, and as God as his witness, he's going to GET that title off of Trips' waist! Def runs toward Trips, who brings him down with the drop-toe hold, before floating over into a step-over-toe-hold-cross-face, or STF. Trips, the Cerebral Palsy Assasin, is a MASTER of technical feats. In fact, he's won more matches by technicalities than by any other means known to the sport! Def has nowhere to go... but up. Yes, Def actually picks Triple S up over his shoulders, Trips trying desperately to hold the submission, but there's just no use. Trips falls off, and Def hooks him by the throat... picks him back up... and lifts him high into the air with one hand!!! Before bringing him back down to Earth, with the Def Jam Slam!!! Triple S's head almost bounces off a full foot off the cement... Def pins his shoulders, and the ref falls down for the count: 1......... 2.......... 3!!!!!] BJ: HE DID IT! HE DID IT! BY GAWD, MEGADEF IS THE BRAND NEW GALL DERN CHAMPEEN O' DA WURL!!! ... Wait, why am I shouting... he's a member of the sWo... BOOOO!!! [Def lies on the ground, the ref draping the gold over his chest... Def a bit out of breath after that STF, but still holding up quite nicely... VERY nicely in fact, as he has now achieved the greatness he came into this company to achieve. Shane walks out from inside the arena, clapping his hands together for his new franchise player... And CEO McMahon trails behind, flanked by Hack and Slash. MegaDef stands up proudly with the belt clutched tightly to his chest... as the sWo embrace their new champion with open arms. Hack and Slash may have lost the tag titles, Edje may have quit, and Mac Bry may have been forced to fire BJ, but at the end of the night, the sWo rule the roost... no matter what crap the SWC has tried to pass off as entertainment. The war has truly begun... and Shane's troops are looking stronger than ever. Goodnight...] -cut- |
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