| Week 4 |
| Sunday, November 10, 2002 I am officially in my 4th week. Lee and I observed something a little frightening last week. While I was off the medication, I had a personality transformation. I was once again able to let things roll off my back. I became gentle and patient. Now, back on the medication for just 4 days, I have begun to be impatient again. Snippy is a better word. By the end of the 3rd week, I had become downright mean. We discussed it last night when I was in a calm mood and decided-- Lee will be understanding and not take Sandi's rude remarks personal. Sandi will recognize that she is being snippy and try to keep her mouth shut. If she finds she can't control her mouth, she will remove herself from the family and go in the back room to read. Lee has the hardest job. Today, I have pimples all over my face. I have had a headache nonstop for 2 days since taking the shot on Friday. I have taken 4 Imitrex, 2 Excedrin PM and slept with a heating pad on my head. Finally, about 9:00 a.m. this morning my headache subsided. I am having trouble breathing today. |
| Week 5 |
| Well, officially Week 5. Pimples cleared up, no headache this week. Feeling pretty darn good. Today is Monday, November 18th, day 30 of 336. Watch the time fly by. |
| Week 6 |
| It's amazing how fast things change. Starting on Wednesday last week, I became overwhelmed by exhaustion. I went to work every day, but by Friday, I was beat and went home at noon to sleep. Today is Saturday, November 23, 2002. The shot last night, put me down. I have been in bed all day and in pain. Flu like symptoms, I hurt everywhere, but thankfully, have not been sick to my stomach. My cankers are back, my teeth feel like they are all loose, my hair is grey, and I am too tired to even pick up the phone and dial a number. Other than that folks, things are great. |
| Week 7 |
| Monday. Felt good, but tired Tuesday. Felt lousy and tired Wednesday. Felt pretty good Thursday. Felt pretty darn good Friday. Took my shot at 7:00 a.m. felt great. Went to lunch with the girls at work. Taught classes all day. At 2:50 p.m. I felt like I had been hit with a hammer and by the time Lee picked me up at 4:00 p.m., I was walking like an old woman, barely able to make it to the car. I went to sleep by 5:00 and hardly woke up at all until Sunday at 4:00. When I did, Lee was fretting over me. It was not a good weekend. |
| Week 8 |
| Made it through. |
| Week 9 |
| My cankers are worse. My fatigue level is skyrocketing. My teeth are loose. The pain level accompanying the shot continues to climb. I have slept and slept and taken so many headache pills that it is shameful. I finally asked Lee to monitor all my unmeasured medication, because I hurt so bad, I can't keep track of what I have taken. My memory is poor especially on the weekends. However, by Monday I seem to have a little more clarity in my head. So, another party came and went and we had to cancel out. My Relief Society lesson and our company party is next weekend, I don't see either of those things happening. Oh, well, only 39 more weeks to go. I can't seem to formulate the words to express how awful this is. I suppose it is because I have a clear understanding of how blessed I am. That things could be so much worse and there are others suffering far more than I. However, I would give anything not to have to go to work each day, but allow myself the luxury of just being sick, especially when I know it will come to an end and giving in to it would not mean giving in to my entire life, just a temporary rest. I have finally quit trying to be brave for Lee. I hurt, I'm miserable, and he may as well know it. He is so patient and caring, I am very fortunate to have him with me. My immediate goal is not to complain unless I really need something, then I will tell him how I hurt and ask for his assistance. Constant whining gets me nowhere. |
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| Week 10 |