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Going to court? Here are a few helpful hints. I’ve gotten emails from women asking what can they do to get their baby back. I can't tell you because I don't know. I can coach on how to act in court, which has helped. First you have to remember a couple of things. The judge, social services (SS) people, adoption agencies, facilitator's and attorney's all have MANY years experience and many adoption cases under their belts. That means they’ve heard all the excuses and lies; they know a lie when they hear one. So the first hint is do not lie. I just can’t stress this point enough: the adoption industry has heard everything, so for every comment you make they will have an answer, in their favor. You are up against well trained, well versed professionals. You can still win but don't underestimate them. Another hint is don't underestimate ANY of this process. Your baby is worth money and anybody (except SS) involved in this process will do and say whatever it takes to get your baby. Appearance is VERY important. You don’t need to go out and buy an expensive outfit, but blue jeans are not a good idea. I shouldn’t say jeans aren't a good idea, but a dress-up pair of jeans with a nice shirt would be good. Better would be dress pants, even a dress. Make it sensible.Act in a professional manner as well. You’ll get to have your say in court. Try to anticipate what questions they will ask you. If they ask a question and you don’t already have an answer, stop a minute and think what you want to say. Don’t just say anything. If you don’t know, say so. If you didn’t understand the question, ask them to repeat it or tell them you don’t understand. Make sure you understand what is going on. NO MATTER what they say, don’t get angry. Just answer the questions the best you can. If you need to cry, you can do that but don’t scream or yell or act out. That will not make you look good at all and will anger the judge. If SS took your baby and they tell you there are certain things you have to do, do them. I think I’d write down everything they say and get them to sign it so they can’t say they said something else. If they won’t, take note of that or record the meetings. Give it your best effort to do what SS wants. Pay attention in court. It will help your defense. Take a support system, which should consist of one person, that can help you. Make sure that person can act as a character witness, if necessary. Also, make sure that person doesn’t say or do anything to hurt your defense. Good luck and have positive thoughts and believe in yourself.
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