| keep in mind this is much funnier if u are in a sarcastic frame of mind! why are you reading this?...The joke is in your pants. Welcome to Loserville. population: you Note To Self: Don't attempt to operate a bike while intoxicated. Masterbation is like procrastination, it feels good till you realize you're F*ucking yourself... God made pot...Man made beer...Who do you trust? A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart & can sing it when you've forgotten the words. A friend is someone who when you ask "Can i borrow a cup of sugar" will say "sure, can i have a cookie?" To all you virgins out there, Thanx for nothing. For every minute you are angry you lose 60 seconds of happiness. I've learned that good-byes will always hurt, pictures never replace having been there, memories good or bad will always bring tears, and words can never replace feelings. (Some of the above quotes adn thoughts were brought to my attention from a friend of mine Lisa walker. i found them clever and funny so i dedided to add them to my page. thanx Lisa.) Donald Duck doesn't wear pants yet when he comes out of the bathroom he has a towel wraped around his waist...what the hell is up with that?! I will hate being able to have only a minifridge in my dorm. what will i do with the other half of the body?(LoL SiAd WiTh ToTaL SaRcAsM NOTE: thats a joke!) There are plenty of fish in the sea...but he is a merman!(2KM) Always Follow your dreams, unless its the one where u go to class naked. (this was told to me by a friend, and its good, i have to tell you!) "People fall into 3 simple catagories. A reason, a season, or a life time. If someone is a reason, learn your lesson. If someone is a season, enjoy the moment. If someone is a life time, relax, things will just flow." I've learned, that it takes years to build up trust, and only a second of suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. I've learned that the people you dont expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones who do. I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon, and all the less important ones just never go away. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people will always be assholes! to all those men...u know the kind im talking about: A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth; I'm NOT your type, I'm NOT inflatable. Next time any of you playaz approach me, unstead of spittin your game just say "And how may i fuck you over today?!" If I throw a stick, will you fetch? I have a computor, a vibrator, and a pizza delivery, now YOU tell me why I should leave my house. It's not an office, it's HELL with fluorescent lights. People pretend to work, and employers pretend to pay them. I thought i wanted a career, turns out I just wanted the paychecks. To all those bitches...u know the kind i mean: Nice perfume, but do you honestly have to marinate in it? 'And your crybaby Whiney-assed opinion would be...?' I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. I hear you've studied liberal arts and all you can ask is "Will that be for here or to go?" Earth is full. GO HOME. think about this one: aight...u ready?...aight here it goes: WE ARE THE FUTURE!! u thinkin?...kinda scary huh?! (2KM) You laugh because im different...i laugh because you're all the same! No Kaland Mebane I didnt forget, i just dodnt wanna remember, becuase sometimes the more you wonder 'why?' the worse it sems to get.Think abut this one Kaland: 'Lifes one big party while you're still young but whose gonna have your back when its all done?!' Whats the use of crying when it cant change anything?!... In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual Warning Label instructions on consumer goods: On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase neccessary. Details inside. (The shoplifters special!) On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on the bottom of the box) Do Not turn upside down. (Too late! you lose!) On Boot's CHILDRENS cough medicine: Do Not drive car or opperate heavy machinery. (we could do alot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just keep those 5 year olds off those forklifts.) On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: for indoor and outdoor use only. (as opposed to outerspace use, or underground!) On Sainsbury's Peanuts:Warning: Contains Nuts. On American Airline packet of nuts: Open packet, Eat nuts. On a Nytol SLEEP aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness. (one would only hope) There was a medical crisis a while back, saying men where having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They said they caused severe sweeling. So... what what the crisis? See the problem is that God gave men a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to operate one at a time. According to a new survey woman say they feel more comfortable undressing infront of men that they do women. They say women are too judgemental, where men are just greatful. "take off yo' shoes make yoself at home!" *takes off shoes* "wooowee! my goodness...u know..i know a great doctor for this odor problem! his name is Dr Scholls...and he has a friend named odor eater...u might wanna check dem! |