april 27, 2007

This comic sort of reminds me of Alex Gee's anecdote about the kid wanting toast...=)

9:23 pm

I figured since it's practically the end of the year I'd make another appearance on xanga. However, as I sat here staring at my computer screen, I started typing an entry, but then I paused took a look at what I wrote and just thought: this is not me. It's too forced of an entry. I meant everything I wrote but at the same time, it just didn't feel together. Maybe I'm too scared of being open there. I guess what I wrote was just too personal for me to share to the world in the xanga community. I just feel more at home when I blog here. The words seem to flow easier,and each sentence is not a pain to write. I'm not thinking after every period, should I include that or should I not?
Anyways, as we all know, the end of another school year is approaching. It's so scary how fast time passes. As I was working here in the library today, a feeling dawned on me and I was momentarily transported back in my mind to the first day I worked here when school started. The brightness of the room on the sunny fall day. Just feeling so proud and happy that I was currently on top of things academically and had time to catch up with friends. Then, suddenly I was brought back here, and I felt sad. Two years have gone by, and yet nothing too eventful has happened. I realize I suck at college, and yeah, that's pretty much it. Living in NYC, you'd think I've gone out to hang out and explore the city. But mostly I've been spending it on campus buried away in a book or staring mindlessly at the computer. I have been getting out more this year though. Taking a bit more risks. And it's been fun. Overall, I am pretty satisfied with how sophmore year has turned out.
College has been a blessing in so many ways. Yet, at the same time, it's been a terrifying and trying experience. I have been truly blessed with all the friendships that I've made here. For the first time, I feel a sense of belonging. People, here, have just been awesome in their many ways. However, college has been terrifying as it thrusts you into the real world somewhat. It forces you to look at the future. Thinking about what you want to do and not knowing what the future holds is scary. Perhaps, I get involved too much with the future and should just focus on the present, but it's too hard when it comes to this point of the year, and you got to think of summer plans.
In terms of summer plans, I have absolutely none. I'm scared of being left with nothing again. There are small projects that I'm interested in doing. Such as maybe reorganizing this blog and fixing up the CSFC website? However, in terms of job searching, that has come to a halt. Yes, I'm scared of rejection. People tell me that if I don't go for it, I'll never get it. And I totally agree, yet I just don't feel as mature as everyone around me. I'm not ready to let go of the kid inside me. The one who holds out her hand and asks mommy to lead her on. Haha. I sometimes wonder if that's why I'm so disappointed in myself. Perhaps it's not the grades I got in college. It's the unwillingness to let go. The step that I'm not willing to take. The fact that I'm not strong enough. I'm just not ready to face the world. Yet, time still propels onward indifferent.

4:10 pm

april 11, 2007

Here's my dilemma. I work at the engineering library, yet somewhere near me (I have no idea where) I am hearing this constant squeaking noise that sounds like a dryer machine running. I have an hour of work left. I really hope this noise stops soon before I go insane.
Anyways, I have recently become hooked on Dancing With the Stars. Thanks to good ole Steph. Now I have plenty of shows to watch. Yay, more ways to procrastinate. I can just imagine it now. Me going straight from here back to my room to watch who has gotten booted off. Maybe, I'll stop by Ferris to grab dinner. Likely? Perhaps not. Haha. Anyhow, it's an interesting show. If you like dancing, I'd highly recommend it.
On another note, this week has been focused a lot around where and what I will do next year. First off, I need to determine my flawless (*cough cough*) 2 year plan of what courses I need to take before I can graduate from this wonderful university. So now I'm just scrambling around wondering what I can and cannot take. Ick. So many classes have prerequisites, but I so do not want to take those prereqs. Huh. Makes no sense right? Yup. Besides that, housing selection was this week. It was pretty intense I might say. But I ended up getting a nice suite so I'm happy =).
Well, I should start "studying" now for Chinese. haha, which means more chatting on gmail and typing like a mad hound w00t! laters!

4:14 pm

april 8, 2007

Last night right before bed, I saw the moon oustide my window. It was a beautiful sight. The moon was so white yet not completely circle in the dark, clear sky. It shocked me how long it took me enjoy this view, and only one month left to live here. I'm really going to miss this suite next year. Yet, being bogged down with all my schoolwork quickly makes me forget about all of this. So busy focusing on all my work makes me oblivious of everything around me. I just try to get through one day at a time. And then all of the sudden, when you take a step back, you realize how time just flew right by you, and all you did was work. All the beautiful weather and sunshine missed. Even when you do nothing, time just flies right by. I need to stop every once in a while and just breathe in.

11:03 pm

april 6, 2007

Ugh, my head is pounding. I think it's from the coffee. There are certain types that I can't drink or else I'd get a headache, and I guess that was one of them. My typing is even going a bit crazy, I'm backspacing a bit too much. Anyways, I'm quite shocked with myself. I've managed to endure reading Crime and Punishment 3 hours straight without too much interruption until of course I downed that coffee. Now I can't concentrate anymore and even typing this blog entry is a bit of a struggle.
Don't get me wrong. Crime and Punishment is a great book. Probably one of the better readings I have this semester. It's just 500 pages is a lot of reading and I'm pretty behind. Thank goodness for class cancellation last Wednesday because I didn't get any reading due for that class done. I just passed out on my bed and woke up the next morning going crapp.
Anyways, this week has been pretty great. Lots of events going on with Jesus Week and just getting by on the work. I really need the summer to come to refuel, if I stay in school any longer I'm going to start falling behind for real (not just in Lit Hum).
Yes, this is not a coherent blog. The coffee is really having an effect on me. I hope it wears off in an hour and a half, otherwise Lindsay's not going to have a sane meal buddy for dinner. Okay, I'm so getting off track. Wait a sec, I don't think I was even on a track to begin with.
Props, if you've managed to keep up for this long. Well, yesterday was Forties on Forties day. (is that spelled right? checks on dictionary.com...yes) Okay, anyways, if you're not familiar with this tradition, it's basically the day when seniors come out to Low Steps and drink Forties all day long to celebrate the fact that they have forty days left of school before they graduate. This year, Columbia took over the tradition and made a great display of it on the steps. Fencing off the slowly getting drunk seniors and offering catering services and free t-shirts.. Let's just say, it was an interesting sight to see coming out of Chinese class. I always complain to myself how Columbia never has any traditions worth mentioning besides Orgo night, but then again can you imagine telling a tour of potential students and their parents that one day each year the graduating seniors drink themselves drunk. Oh wait, that prolly happens every weekend...
Anyways, I can't believe I spent an entire paragraph on that. On more excitign news, I went to see Les Mis Wednesday night, and it was AMAZING. Yup sir/madam. My second broadway show ever. It was so exciting to watch. I really love watching theatre productions. It was done very nicely, and I love how they enacted the guy dropping off the bridge scene. Very creative.
Okay, I wanted to comment on Jesus Week, but my head is still pounding like crazy and I don't think I can do it justice in the current state I am. So without further ado, farewell! (not to mention, it's a quarter to five and I need to close this library)

4:45pm

march 20, 2007

Why can't I ever enjoy things when I'm actually there doing them instead of kicking my butt later? I guess, when I'm actually there I always see all the negative things and just can't get past them, but afterwards, I remember all the great things that happened and start missing the fun time I had. *sigh* Anyways, spring break was AWESOME. I went down to New Orleans with a couple of CSFC-ers, and we helped with Katrina Relief as well as getting to explore around the city at night. It was very fun even though the whole experience was a bit exhausting with all the physical labor, and the fact that I am completely out of shape! haha Nevertheless, it was great hanging out with fellowship people and getting to know them better - the good, the bad, and the ugly. haha, just kidding! Also, met a bunch of people from MO while cleaning up a park and hung out with them. That was pretty fun. Gutting houses was also interesting and very tiring! The crowbar is just too heavy for me to use. Yes, I know I'm weak =P. Overall, a very fun and eventful spring break. I'm really glad I decided to break out of my hermit shell and go out and do something. Lots of new experiences, not to mention visiting new places - New Orleans AND Houston. Hung out in Houston for a day as our flight home got cancelled because of the snowstorm. Checked out Walmart which was ENORMOUS. I don't think I've seen something so big before haha. It had EVERYTHING. Also had some awesome Mexican food. I totally did not realize how awesome it was until I came back here and tried out some Mexican food and went..eww what's this?!? haha. Now I wish I didn't throw out my leftovers just because I was too lazy to carry it. =\ Yep, overall an amazing spring break that I'd never thought I have =).

8:49 pm

march 9, 2007

«side note» The default font on this computer is quite interesting. Brings a different look when I type out this entry. ^_~
So many things to say, but don't know where to start. Well, spring break is here. But as we all know, the word "break" is just a facade. We still all have lots of work that needs to be done. As always, I was so excited that spring break was finally here, but now that I've finally drafted my March calendar I've realized I don't have as much time as I do to do my work when I get back from New Orleans. In terms of big projects, I've got a Chinese oral exam the week I get back, and the following week my Comp Sci assignment is due as well as my Comp Sci midterm and ODE midterm. Darn, that will be a busy week. Haven't looked at my April calendar yet, but by the looks of thing, I'm hoping that that month will be a chiller month. I should only have essays to write, no exams. HAHA,only, as if writing essays were a piece of cake, NOT.
Anyways, I'm going down to New Orleans next week. That should be interesting. The whole trip, in general,will be a new experience as I've never done any of that stuff before. And doing this with my fellowship is nice. I don't think I've really done stuff with my fellowship outside of Columbia. I'm actually kind of scared. Their email was not comforting when they said they might ask us to do things that we wouldn't be comfortable doing. Hmm...
Oh, I got an email from one of the research internships I applied to yesterday. It started making me anxious again. *sigh* I really hope I get into it. Well, March 21 is decision day. *cries* I don't think I have the heart to check my email that day just hoping I'd get one. =(.
Well, right now I'm at work as always, bored out of my mind because I can't motivate myself to do any work besides copying down Chinese characters. But since that only takes less than 2 hour to do, here I am trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my time here at work. Yeah, I'm just here twiddling my thumbs and searching for split ends, which I can't cut, until some inspiration comes. x.X Well, anyways, hope all my fellow students have a nice spring break,and for those of you who aren't on spring break yet, stay strong! =D

3:44 pm

february 25, 2007

I am currently falling asleep at work, so I've decided to push aside Montaigne's Essays for a while and surf xanga and facebook and update here. By the way, you know you haven't been on xanga for a while when you stare at your own page and wonder where you should click to logout. Perhaps, it's just my layout that confused me plus the fact that I'm real tired and almost fell asleep at work. Well, I just received my next installment of my drama from youtube. This means I get to waste 45 minutes of my study time tonight to watch it. Haha. Probably won't get too many new shows to watch this week especially with the oscars tonight meaning that my two Sunday shows are off the list and with Grey's Anatomy just finishing its crazy arc, there's probably no new episode for that. This week is going to be pretty slow. So sad how my days revolve around TV shows, huh?
Anyways, yesterday was LG. Gracie came over to watch and sleepover. It was pretty fun. I also felt very productive this weekend. Perhaps that's due to the fact that I wrote my entire Art Hum essay during my work shift Friday and successfully finished my programming in the course of one night and part of a day. That was pretty cool, although I'm not quite sure how "elegantly" I wrote my code. Well, at least it works? Although, I felt the prof's code was a bit buggy as it had some logical errors, which sort of drove me up the wall because I wasn't backtracking on my own code but his, which are supposed to be dependable, right? Haha. Well at least I survived =P.
Anyhow, I think I have awakened myself so I must return to my reading of the Essays. x.X

12:46 pm

february 23, 2007

After working at 3 libraries today in one shift, I am thoroughly convinced that each library has its own characteristics and quirks. For example, everyone in engineering library is well aware of the overnight policy on reserves and always want to borrow the books overnight. And they're always renewing the reserve books that they want till they can finally renew it overnight. They're hardcore, I tell you. Nobody in chemistry library knows that you can borrow reserve books overnight, plus nobody wants to do that. And in math library, everyone is practically convinced there's an over the weekend policy on the reserve books when there is no such thing. Yup folks, this is what Columbia libraries are all about. =P

5:32 pm

1:23 pm

february 16, 2007

I need to get out more. Like actually have a social life beyond academia. I can't even talk like a normal person anymore. Some guy at work came up to me and asked me where he could find the books, and I told him to go to the stacks and find the shelf where his call number fell into the marked interval. How sad is that? I suppose crash studying for the ODE midterm really got into my head. Anyways, I can be really awkward when I try to talk to people. *sigh*
Well, valentine's day was two days ago. Normally, this event just goes by me unnoticed besides the fact that there are a lot of pink and red hearts everywhere. Anyways, I want to thank all my friends who gave me nice chocolate sweets nonetheless, even though I didn't officially "get them" until the next day when I saw it lying on the suite table. That was real sweet of you guys :P. Really appreciated it.
Tomorrow's Chinese New Year's Eve. I'm going back home, and it should be fun. It's on a weekend this year which mean it's much more chill plus my brother's got school off next week so hopefully the whole family won't be too work oriented. This should be a very chill weekend for me as long as I get these internship essays done, but at this rate I only have once sentence. I just don't know how to start this type of personal statement without making it seem too cheesy or awkward. Thus, instead of working on it, I'm delaying the process and procrastinating here on my blog. *sigh* I really need to get this done before I go home. Guess I will buckle down starting NOW!

1:53 pm

feburary 9, 2007

Wow, it's been a while since I've actually updated on my blog from my own laptop. I normally do it from the work computer but today I brought my laptop. I'm supposed to be working on my internship essays and evaluating my life and how I am just awesomely fit to work at a nanotech lab, yeah right. x.X *sigh* Anyways, so far, I read a couple pages of Paradiso and opted to switch out of Engineering Library to close the Physics Library. It's lots quieter here and less busier so I can focus on...blogging! haha However, the wireless connection up here is a bit shaky. I got sorta scared for a second when I thought I had none. It likes to fluctuate from low to high very quickly. x.X
Anyways, life's okay. I just finished my Lit Hum essay this morning around 3am. Earliest that I've ever finished an essay so far. Normally, I'm still working half an hour before deadline specially when I have an option of emailing it. For some odd reason, I feel quite refreshed today and yesterday morning as well, which is quite odd because I slept late and woke up 6-7 hours later. Intersting indeed. Maybe it's because I slept too much the previous days as I was trying to hide away from having to write my paper. Haha. Well, the weather has gotten warmer, which is really nice. I couldn't stand that bitter frost cold weather. I felt like my ears and nose were going to fall off any second. Maybe, I'll do the St. John the Divine paper after all. Since it's warm, I have no excuse not to do it anyways. Afterall, St. John the Divind is only like two blocks away from where I live. Hehe :D It's really amazing there. You should go visit!
Well, I still got a lot of stuff to do and research so I best stop blogging and do something productive during my time here at Physics before I have to ship myself back to Engineering. Going out for dinner and movie tonight so that should be fun ^^.

3:39 pm

february 4, 2007

Well, as foretold, I am back here blogging to, of course, complain about how screwed I am for my Lit Hum paper because I have no idea what I am supposed to write about. After mulling over St. Augustine's Memory section for like forever, I've decided that I'm not going to be able to absorb anything worth writing about for five-six pages, so now I have to switch topics. Now, I will be contrasting Aeneas to Abraham, but of course, I didn't finish reading Aeneid and forgot a majority of details in Genesis so still have a lot of reading to do. Not to mention, I'm at work and failed to bring these two books along with me.
Anyways, surfed youtube again and noticed that the latest episode of the jap drama I'm keeping up with has been posted. *sigh* Just another distraction when I get back to my dorm. sheesh. Man, how did I get hooked on to so many dramas. I wonder if I have enough for one episode a weeknight. Actually I think I do. Four ABC shows, Veronica Mars, Heroes, and the Jap drama makes it a total of 7. Well, doesn't it work out perfectly, except when the new episodes are released, they don't work out as well. Or perhaps they do. I've never tried watching only one show per night. haha Sometimes, I just don't have the time.
Well, I do sort of have to finish The Golden Ass for tomorrow, so maybe I should get started on that. That book is just butt wild crazy. I mean, it was humorous at first, but now I think it's just getting ridiculous. Yup, if you're in for some ridiculous spare time reading, you should read this book ^^.

12:44 pm

february 2, 2007

I wonder if it's just me, or if all the libraries here have like the heat on maximum or something because I am dying of heat exhaustion over here. It is crazily hot. Maybe because the weather is not as cold today as it was yesterday. In fact, compared to yesterday, it's pretty warm. Anyways, it's Friday so I'm working again. Sort of an interesting shift to have at Engineering on Friday afternoons. I don't think I've ever worked my full five hours at Engineering. I'm always being relocated to another library such as today I am currently at the Chemistry library. Last week, I was working at Geology. I think I prefer Geology. It's more spacious and hopefully less warmer. But then again, those stacks are pretty shady.
Anyways, apparently, wikipedia has branched out further to wikiquote and DramaWiki. Two of the new little resources that I've noticed during my internet escapapdes while I procrastinate on my homework at work. Last week, I was browsing wikidrama as I was looking up this Jap drama that I've become obssessed with thanks to my roommate (x.X). Today, I was reading some Veronica Mars quotes on wikiquote.org. I was reading some quotes from the earlier seasons, and it just reminded me how the show did used to be a bit different. I don't know, I guess I sort of blame it on the whole school environment change since Vmars is no longer in high school, but college. But the feel to it has sort of changed, there was a darker tone to it in the first/second season. Or maybe things did seem to be more linked together and anything that was mysterious throughout the series was eventually given some closure in the last episode. I just feel like now VM has a lot of open ended questions that need to be addressed. Ah, well, it's still a good show albeit some of the jokes are a bit odd or just random and sort of forced.
Man, I am just so tired right now. I was going to read Saint Augustine Book X and hopefully start my Lit Hum essay, but I just kept falling asleep. I can't wait for my library shift to be over. Only two more hours! And then I think I might take a nap before dinner. I don't know. There's just so much to do, and so little time. Not to mention, I hear that Ugly Betty aired another crazy episode again yesterday night. Seriously, that show used to be so mellow and funny, now it's taken a twisted turn. Not that it still isn't great, but it's surprising how fast a show can change from being chill to ultra-dramatic. Sort of like Grey's Anatomy, it goes from crazy to normal, comical to dramatic.
Okay, so I did a little quick research on DramaWiki and apparently, it just probably stole the name off wikipedia and it's not really a branch off it. Which go figures, I mean it's pretty much a database for asian dramas. Hehe.
Well, I suppose that's my life adventures. Must get back to work. Don't worry I'll be back soon for another round of my ... um..."crazy" adventures when I get bored at work, which should be plenty!

4:35 pm

january 28, 2007

yep, it's sunday morning and i'm at work. okay, fine, more like afternoon now, but since i forced myself out of bed at 10 in the morning, it feels like morning. and yeah, if u haven't guessed already, i'm procrastinating on my lit hum reading. i've been here for 2 hours and st. augustine has not been touched. the most movement is had is being taken out of my book bag and placed next to the keyboard.
hmm, i'm also noticing that this blog ought to be cleaned up a bit. it has entries dating back to july. so many secretarial things that i want to do yet when i find myself in front of the comp, all i do is just search for drama and fill my head with nonsense. but since i can't watch drama now, i'm cruising through random blogs. i just checked my yahoo inbox. i have 36 new messages. Yeah, and they're practically all xanga subscriptions. Although, I'm starting to feel guilty about not reading st. augustine. every hour counts since it takes me so long to read one book and i have nine to go through.
ugh, i'm getting hungry. unfortunately, i did not wake up early enough to grab breakfast as well as shower, so now i'm sitting here waiting for one more hour to pass so i can go grab something to eat.
anyways, weekend has been pretty busy. mostly with st. augustine b/c i can't seem to be getting anywhere with this novel. i was supposed to do some other stuff this weekend. gosh, i guess i'll have to cram it into the weekdays. no more fooling around girl, seriously. it's also been quite lonely this weekend. all of my suitemates are out of town, and my roommate decided to sleep over at another dorm two of the three nights. well, i guess it did have some perks such as i was able to watch drama on my laptop w/o having to use earphones, but still an empty suite is quite unnerving.
well newayz, i think i've procrastinated long enough. st. augustine here i come

1:00 pm

january 18, 2007

It finally snowed today, but it wasn't the nice kind of snow. It was too wet, plus it didn't even stick on the ground. Anyways, I'm back at college, and school has started up again. Classes seem okay. ODE didn't look desirable at first, but the second lecture seemed to make it more bearable. However, no one will ever compare to Hou. He's the best math professor at Columbia. No other professor's lecture can compare. *sigh* Anyways, Chinese and Java seem fun and aren't too bad (I hope). The teacher for Lit Hum doesn't seem too bad. 10% class participation grade totally rocks. However, I heard he was hard or something, and I have to write a 5-6 page paper and a 8-10 page paper. I'm not too ecstatic about that, but I'm too lazy to switch. Art Hum sucks. It didn't get too much better today except for the fact that now I know a bit more about architecture since we were studying the Parthenon. Go tilting columns and optical refinement! If you know what the means, I'm amazed.
Well, that's my initial evaluation of classes for you. Subject to change of course. Anyways, I just came back from Large Group. I'm slightly down right now so I'm hiding in my room while everyone else is probably chilling out upstairs. I'm such a hermit. Anyways, it's generally during small groups, large groups, or a csfc event that I come up with ideas of how to focus on God and not continually slip away. Of course, generally, I forget about it once the event is over, and I start chilling out with people. So today I figured I'd slip away and straighten out a few things before I return to the hustle.
So I figured out which book I'd read during quiet time. I'm gonna start with 1 Corinthians and maybe work my way through 2 Corinthians. I don't exactly know why I'm starting with this book. To be honest, it's just a random choice, but it came to me while I was listening to the speaker so I feel I should just follow through with it. So yeah, keep me accountable and make sure I read some of it everyday.
I've also realized that I haven't attended a single retreat/conference this year. Last year, I went to Fall Retreat, and it was really refreshing, but now that I started working on weekends, I just can't leave during the school year. Epic conference is coming up, and I wanted to go until I stupidly signed up for a Sunday shift and even maybe the Friday shift might get in the way. I don't know. I told myself I'd go to BWC, but I ended up not doing it. So many plans that never went to fruition.
Anyways, I want to try to keep my time management really good this semester. I sort of slipped last semester when November started, and I had that ridiculous Matlab seminar to deal w/ which I ended up dropping anyways, but which totally screwed up my time management. Well, I just dropped volleyball today so now I'm only juggling 18 credits as opposed to the 19.5 credits from last semester. Well, this has been a long entry. I best get started on my QT, and then maybe join the AFF crowd or write another Chinese diary entry.

11:08 pm

january 2, 2007

wow, it's the new year. winter break seems to be going by so fast. it's already the second week. one more week and then i'm back at school, slaving away to academia. the holidays this year sorta just flew by me. christmas was uneventful, new years sorta creeped up on me. and family wasn't in the mood to celebrate as everyone was all wrapped up around my bro's poetry project. *sigh* or maybe it's been like this every year but i sort of brought my hopes up that this year would be funner b/c my couz was going to come down to visit, only she didn't. or maybe i've just reached winter break boredom and need to get out more. it's just easier to get out when you're in the city than at home..
anyways, i thought about it for a while, and i think i'm gonna stick w/ this layout afterall. the one that i was working off just doesn't seem to be working out to my liking and tastes, and this is still a very workable layout. so good-bye to one of my goals. speaking of goals, i've hardly done any of the ones that i've listed down there. so i think i should stop listing my goals cuz i'll just end up never doing them.
well newayz, i've spent most of my break watching tv shows on abc.com and watching heroes. now i've added more must watch tv shows on my list. now i'm watching: greys anatomy, veronica mars, ugly betty, desperate housewives, & brothers and sisters. and yeah.. they're all abc shows. oh dear me x.X
well newayz, time for me to watch some more tv. x.X i'm such a couch potato...

11:25 pm