Stargate SG-1 Season Two Quotes

(Quotes from Season Two. Well, duh.)

Serpent's Lair

O'Neill: Well, I suppose now is the time for me to say something profound...
Nothing comes to mind. (On facing being blown up with the Goa'uld ship)

O'Neill: This is turning out to be a bad day... (On realising their plan isn't going to work)

O'Neill: Carter, if someone comes in here, you... bite him in the hand. (When they wake up blind - after he accidently puts his hand on her face and she bites him..)

Samuels: From space, we should appear to be a vulnerable and unsuspecting world.
Hammond: Got 'em just where you want 'em, do you, Samuels?

O'Neill/Jackson: Well, we have a number of, of… shuttles.
Brae'tac: These... shuttles, they are a formidable craft?

O'Neill: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Bad day. (See last time he said this *g*)

O'Neill: What are the odds of taking out a ship like this with four gliders and,
maybe, a shuttle?

O'Neill: I think a better idea is to get the other guys to lay down their lives
for their world first.

Brae'tac: We shall have to cross that bridge when we come to it.
O'Neill: You know, that particular cliché doesn't... always work.

Brae'tac: Now we die.
O'Neill: Well, that's a bad plan.

O'Neill: Space monkey. Yeah! (On seeing Daniel's alive, and wasn't blown up with the ships)

Prisoners

Jack: Teal'c, look scary and take point.

Message in a Bottle

Sam: Do you think it might be a booby trap?
Teal'c: Booby?

Sam: Lieutenant, I'd like to record this.
Lt. Simmons: Whatever you say, Captain.
Sam: Try to relax, Graham. Or it's gonna be a long day.
Daniel: You know, I don't think it's the artifact he gets nervous like that
everytime he's around you. (danile smirks) Maybe a crush.
Lt. Simmons: Er... (looking embarrassed) We're ercording now.
Sam: (Also loking embarrassed) Thank you, Lieutenant.
Daniel: Oops. (A beat) Hey, the artifact!

Teal'c: I suggest you observe from the control room. (Before he used his staff
weapon on the orb pinning poor Jack to the wall.)

Hammond: I don't really give a damn what Colonel Maybourne has to say on
the subject, I've made my decision. (On NID wanting the orb.)

Sam: It won't take us without a fight, Sir.
Hammond: Damn right it won't.

Dr. Fraiser: You're idea seems to be working.
Sam: Yeah, slowed down the progress of the organism by almost 90%.
Dr. Fraiser: Well, don't jump up and down now or you'll get all my other patients
excited.

Hammond: Assuming you're right, what are they trying to say?
Daniel: Well, they could be saying 'take me to your leader' for all I know, I have no
idea.

Hammond: Are you out of your mind? (To Sam.)

Sam: Thought you were gone for good, Sir.
Jack: Wild horses, Captain.

Secrets

Teal'c: Daniel Jackson assures me the Abydonians are a peaceful people.
O'Neill: You kidding? They're a great people. In fact, what do you say you and
me blow off this medal ceremony thing and go with the boys? (To Sam.)

Jackson: Say hi to the President for me.
O'Neill: Will do.

Sha're: The demon sleeps because I am with child. Hear me, husband. The Goa'uld
that has stolen my soul is called Ammunet.

O'Neill: You know, I can navigate my way acrss a galaxy. But I still get lost
every time I come to Washington.
Carter: Don't worry sir, these are my old stomping grounds.
O'Neill: Sorry to hear that.
Carter: Years at the pentagon trying to make the Stargate program a reality;
time well spent.
O'Neill: Ya think?

Carter: As in my father, yes, sir.
O'Neill: Get outta town. Sam's dad? I've heard nothing about you, sir.

O'Neill: I retired myself one time, couldn't stay away.
Jacob: From your analysis of deep space radar telemetry?
O'Neill: It's just so damned fascinating.
O'Neill: General, Captain, General, Waiter...

Jackson: I hate what's been done to you. I hate what Aphophis plans for the
child growing inside of you... I love you.

Kasuf: Go with them.
Jackson: You can't just tell her like that.
Kasuf: I'm her father.

O'Neill: It's O'Neill. With two L's. 'Cause there's another Colonel O'Neil with
only one L, and he has no sense of humour.

Armin: You did this.
O'Neill: No, we didn't do this.
Armin: Son of a...

Carter: Dad, please don't go like this...
Jacob: Congratulations on the medal. I'm sure you deserve it.
Carter: Dad! (Scene takse place after Sam turns down his offer of getting her in NASA despite his revealing to her he is dying from cancer.)

O'Neill: Someone explain to me what just happened.
Teal'c: It is a lengthy tale, O'Neill.
O'Neill: Long story, Teal'c.
Jackson and Teal'c: Apophis.
O'Neill: What?!

The Tok'ra (Part One)

Teal'c: They are hunted and despised by the Goa'uld.
O'Neill: Yes! My kind of guys.

Hammond: Captain, you're more like your father than you'd like to admit.

O'Neill: Where's that yellow brick road when you need it, eh, Dorothy?

O'Neill: You know, in some galaxies, this is called loitering. How long do you
think we can keep it up?

O'Neill: Well, I guess we all start shooting. There's blood, death, hard
feelings. It'd suck.

O'Neill: So, take me to your leader.

O'Neill: Well, that kinda sucks.

O'Neill: Are you Gou'ld and are we prisoners?
Garshaw: You are not, and I repeat, we are not Goa'uld.

O'Neill: Okay, son. But I want you to have her back by 11:00, you understand?

The Tok'ra (Part Two)

Teal'c: Is this another one of your strange jokes, O'Neill?

O'Neill: Well, General, if these were your every day, run of the mill,
greasy-assed Goa'uld, they would have made us their host already.

Jacob: Holy Hannah!

Teal'c: Chel Nak!
Daniel: Direct translation, "Very cool."

Jacob: I can feel myself talking, but it's not me saying the words, ya know?
O'Neill: Don't know. Take your word for it.

Jacob: Apparently, I'm the oldest and wisest among us.
Sam: Oh, geez.

Touchstone

Jack: That's why we'd like to go back sir. Carter wants to get a closer look with her
specialized do-hickeys.
Hammond: Do Hickeys?
Jack: I believe that's the technical term sir.

A Matter Of Time

O'Neill: What's with the "worm" part? The "worm" thing -- I, I don't get that.
Carter: That's just a metaphor.
O'Neill: Right, I knew that.

Cromwell: Is that proper military terminology? What, exactly, does "funky" mean,
Sergeant?

O'Neill: Will you stop that?!
Carter: We're in trouble, Sir.
O'Neill: Thank you... Think of something.

Cromwell: Don't even pretend you understood that. (To Jack, after Sam's just gone into techno-babble mode)

Hammond: Captain, relativity gives me a headache.

Cromwell: Man, she is...
O'Neill: ...way smarter than we are. I know. (On Sam)

Hammond: I've been gone nearly 18 hours.
O'Neill: I thought you were on the phone.

Carter: In other words, Teal'c, they don't really know what the hell's going on
so they're just going to blow it up.

The Fifth Race

O'Neill: Ok, I'll be honest with you, Teal'c, it's so you don't hurt me.

Jackson: You just said there's nothing cruvas with you.
O'Neill: I did not.
Jackson: Yes, you did.
O'Neill: No I didn't.
Jackson: Yes, you did.
O'Neill: Didn't.
Jackson: Did.
O'Neill: Didn't.
Jackson: Did.
O'Neill: Cruvas, what is that??

Jackson: I think the circle means 'The Place of Our Legacy'. Um... Or it could
be 'A Piece of Our Leg,' but the first seems to make more sense.

Asgard: There was once an alliance of four races. The Asgard... the Nox...
O'Neill: Met them.
Asgard: The Furlings...
O'Neill: Don't know them.
Asgard: And the Ancients.

Out of Mind

O'Neill: Ow! What was that?
Raleigh: It's okay, Colonel, it's in. That's all the pain you'll feel.
O'Neill: (reaches up to touch it) What a shame.

Daniel: What year is it?
Carter: 1999, most likely.
Daniel: So this is all a... hoax.
O'Neill: Big hoax. I'd say so.
Daniel: I have more questions, but that can wait.
O'Neill: Yeah. Come on.

O'Neill: Oh, I was *so* hoping never to see you again. (To Hathor.)

O'Neill: Let me take a guess. It's just a wild guess, but... that's
where we come in, right? (Again, to Hathor.)

Jack: Weeeeell, this was an intergalactic waste of time.
Hathor: How do we contact the Asgard so we might align with their forces?
Jack: Try Roswell, little place in New Mexico.

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