*******
I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light
*******
The call came two weeks from the day that Starsky had officially disappeared.
About ten o'clock, Monday morning,
Hutch's phone rang. It took several rings before the detective
could work up the interest to answer it.
"Hutchinson."
"Hey, Hutch! How you doing? Miss that partner of yours?"
Back stiffening, Hutch gestured for one of the other
detectives to get Dobey.
"Don't you think it's time you stopped with these games and just tell
us where he is?" Hutch growled. He saw Dobey pick
up Starsky's phone so he could listen in.
"Why, that's why I'm calling you, Hutch. To tell you that it's
time to go get your partner. I think you've suffered long
enough. At least at waiting."
"Just tell me where he is, damn you." Hutch was rapidly losing what little restraint he had left.
"Now, now, Hutch is that any way to talk? One would think you
had better manners than that. I'm wondering what your
talents are, detective. I know you're good at killing people.
How good are you at digging them up?" A short evil laugh.
Eyes met across the desks. One set, icy blue. The other
set, deep brown. Both filled with fear and a sudden dread.
<God, no. Not Starsky. Not that.>
"What are you talking about?" Hutch's voice had dropped to that
calm steady tone that those that knew him feared. It
signaled cold, restrained fury.
"Oh, you'll figure it out, Hutch. Now, I'm going to make this
quick because I know that your excellent Captain is probably
tracing this call and we wouldn't want to cut the game short, now would
we? In this morning's mail, which you should be
getting about now..."
Both officers looked up as the mailroom clerk walked in the door.
Dobey put one hand over the mouthpiece of the phone
and tersely ordered another search of the building.
"there's a letter for you. Actually, it's more of a treasure map.
Just follow the instructions and you'll find what you've been
searching for. Happy hunting, Hutch." The hanging up of
the phone at the other end cut off a snort of laughter.
Hutch was shaking as he took the small stack of mail from the clerk.
The poor clerk had no idea why the detective was
glaring so hostilely at him nor why every eye in the room watched him.
He quickly finished his deliveries and got out of
the squadroom as fast as he could.
The blond detective hastily sorted through the circulars and inter-office
mail until he found a plain envelope with just his
name *Sgt. Ken Hutchinson* typed across the front. Knowing that
there would be no useful fingerprints, the caller was too
clever for that, Hutch ripped open the envelope and pulled out two
sheets of paper. One was a small folded map, such
as the one issued to tourists at campsites, and the other was a short
letter.
Fingers shaking, Hutch unfolded the letter and read:
*Hi Hutch.
Well it's time to finish this. Follow these instructions and you'll
find what you've been
searching so diligently for. Of course, you may not be totally
satisfied with your prize but
there is no exchange and no cash value. But I digress.
Go up Topanga Canyon Road until you get to the entrance to the State
Park. Park in the first
lot to your left. Take the first hiking trail to the north of
the rest station, I've placed a
small pile of rocks at the entrance to make it easier for you.
Follow that trail for about
half a mile and you'll come to a service access trail. Again,
I've marked the entrance with
rocks for you. Follow that trail for another three hundred yards
and you'll come across a
small meadow. At the far north end, you'll see a cairn of rocks.
Under that is your
treasure. I've included a map to make things easier for you.
It's been fun. Hope you enjoy your prize. But then again, maybe I don't.
See you
A concerned citizen. *
The Captain had been standing behind him, reading over his shoulder.
Hutch barely felt the hand on his shoulder. He
was too busy praying.
***
The search party was quickly organized. Dobey's car, three patrol
cars, and an ambulance made up the convoy that
headed out to Topanga Canyon State Park an hour after the phone call.
Hutch sat beside his Captain, staring out the
passenger side window, trying not to think about what may lay ahead.
Huggy, sitting in the backseat, had shown up at
the station just before they were ready to leave. Hutch had the
sneaking suspicion that Dobey had called him.
The entire trip was silent, each of the three men lost in their thoughts and fears.
Although Dobey hoped that they would find Starsky alive, he wanted this
whole thing over. For his own sake as much as
Hutch's. Not knowing was always harder than knowing. Without
a definite end to this, there would always be hope, and
sometimes that was harder to deal with than when there was no hope
at all.
Huggy's thoughts were with the blond figure in the front seat.
He loved both of the detectives dearly and would feel
Starsky's absence forever. There were no words to explain the
relationship that the three of them had built up over the
years. Huggy had known Starsky just slightly longer than Hutch
and at first wasn't sure that he'd ever like the more
refined partner. But over time, through all the bad and all the
good, they had formed a bond. One that was made up of
trust, respect and a mutual affection for the mischievous Starsky.
The glue that bound them all together. He wasn't sure
that without that bond that they would survive as friends. He
wasn't sure that Hutch would survive at all.
The object of the others' concern was trying not to think at all of
what lay ahead. He had never once given up hope that
one day he would find his partner. Find him alive. Even
during the blackest moments, he had held onto that hope. They
had searched so hard, talked to so many people, and had everyone looking
for Starsky, that he knew that he would find
him. He had to. Without his partner, his best friend, he
was incomplete. The two of them were more than two good cops,
two friends. They were kindred spirits, two parts of one greater
whole. They had gone through so much together,
survived so much together, that it was totally incompressible to him
that it would all end like this.
Staring out the window, he remembered past times. Times when it
seemed that they were going to lose. The time in the
restaurant when Starsky was shot, where they were all threatened with
a quick and violent death. They survived that
one. During the time after Forrest and his goons shot him up
with heroin and left him for dead. Starsky had stuck it out
with him, loving him, caring for him, until he could stand on his own
again. When his partner was poisoned and life was
only a matter of hours. If Starsky hadn't have shot Bellamy,
Hutch would have been dead. Starsky was willing to give up
any hope of life in order to save his partner. Hutch could do
no less for him.
Through these last two weeks, Hutch had come to realize how entwined
their lives had become. How much he relied on
Starsky for all that was good in his life. Support, companionship,
friendship, laughter, forgiveness and love. He had
never known anyone like his mercurial partner before. He seriously
doubted he ever would again. During the years of
their partnership, there had been days when the only thing that kept
him going out onto the streets was the knowledge
that Starsky was there with him. Hutch knew that while he had
been a good person before Starsky, he was a far better
person for having him in his life. If Starsky were truly dead,
then it would be as if the sun was gone. All the light in his life
would be gone.
The police cars finally pulled into the lot at the park as per instructions.
Waiting for them were detectives from the Santa
Monica police with their forensics team. A Park Warden was also
present. While they had been waiting for their Metro
brethren to arrive, they kept busy unpacking any equipment they thought
they might need. Lying on the ground were the
forensic team's kits, shovels, and a couple of tarps. The group
stood about, chatting. Unlike the officers from Metro, they
had little personal stake in the search. None of them knew the
missing man and, other than the fact he was a fellow cop,
meant little to them.
The senior detective came over to greet Captain Dobey as they stepped
out of the car. Shaking hands, Dobey
introduced Hutch and Huggy to him.
"Lieutenant Hobson. I'm sorry to meet you, Sergeant, under these
circumstances." Hobson shook Hutch's hand, noting
the lost look in his eyes. Knowing that delaying things wouldn't
make the outcome any better, he proceeded to herd the
Metro people towards his own.
"We ready to get started whenever you are, Captain. This is Kevin
Jacobs." Indicating the Park Warden. "He's very
familiar with the area and will make sure that we don't get ourselves
lost." Another round of handshaking.
The men quickly organized themselves. The forensic team hoisted
their kits, and the Metro uniforms gathered up the
shovels and tarps. The ambulance crew stayed behind. If
there was no need for their gurney, it was better to wait. With
Hutch and the warden leading the way, they soon found the first pile
of stones beside a winding trail that led off into the
park. Following the instructions in the letter, they found the
access trail. Jacobs unlocked the gate, let the group
through, and then locked the gate behind them. Catching Dobey's
raised eyebrow, the man smiled.
"There's some pretty sensitive areas up in these canyons that are off
limits from casual hikers. It's better to have to lock
and unlock the gate every time we need through than to have someone
get in and inflict some ecological damage back
here." He explained.
They hurried to catch the rest as they entered a meadow.
It wasn't a large area, probably about half an acre in size. At
the far end, under a bent conifer, was a pile of stones.
<What a beautiful place.> Hutch thought, trying to ignore the
stones. And it was a beautiful, tranquil space. Wildflowers
nodded in the slight breeze, the sound of that wind in the surrounding
trees seemed to sigh sadly in the golden sunlight.
As it was still fairly early in the spring, the grass was green and
springy under their feet. Summer's harsh heat hadn't yet
burnt the meadow to a brown hue as it would later on. From somewhere
nearby, there were the sounds of running water
as well as the songs of the birds nesting in the trees. Altogether
a peaceful place.
Even the seasoned and slightly jaded cops seemed affected by the quiet
of this place. None of them spoke as they
proceeded across the meadow towards the stones at the other side.
The closer they came, the more the pile looked like
a cairn instead of just an accumulation of loose rock. Dobey
couldn't help but notice how carefully the stones lay one on
top of the other. It appeared that whoever had placed them there
wanted it known that someone or something important
lay underneath. They all gathered quietly for a moment, feeling
slightly in awe of this place.
The startled voice of one of the Metro uniforms broke the silence.
"Uh, Captain Dobey, I think you'd better look at this."
Both Dobey and Hutch hurried up to one end of the cairn and looked
at the stone the officer was pointing to. There,
written in black paint was one word, *David*. An exhalation of
breath, almost a whimper, escaped Hutch's throat before
he closed his eyes and turned away.
This discovery broke the hold the space seemed to have on the men.
Setting to work, one of the forensic team took
pictures as the rest of the group slowly started to dismantle the cairn.
The first thing to be uncovered was a small shovel,
like the ones that every police car carried. Hutch examined it
carefully, not surprised to find a chip in the metal edge. A
chip that Starsky's shovel had ever since the time he had used it to
dig his car out of a ditch and struck a rock. Hutch
handed the shovel over to one of the forensic team for tagging and
went back to pulling stones.
It wasn't long before the distinctive smell of decaying flesh started.
They had removed a great number of the stones by
this time. Hobson ordered a halt and handed out gloves and masks
to the group. Now that they knew that there was
something dead under there, further precautions were necessary.
Dobey tried to get Hutch to stand aside, to let the
others finish the task, but he resisted. Huggy stayed close beside
him, his worry for his friend evident in his sad brown
eyes.
Finally, a blanket wrapped body was uncovered. Hutch's breath
caught in his throat. He recognized that blanket. It was
the same one that Starsky carried in the trunk of the Torino.
The same one that they had spread across the beach sand
that last Saturday together. The same one that he himself had
folded, carried, and placed back in the trunk of the car.
The one that had been missing, along with the shovel, that Monday morning.
Once again, Huggy was beside him as together they watched the forensics
team lift the body onto one of the tarps.
Watched as they measured, photographed, and took samples of the cloth.
Watched as they carefully folded back the
blanket edges and uncovered the body. Hutch heard Huggy gagging
as the team revealed the decomposing body.
Because the earth was damp, the body was not in good shape. But
it was in good enough condition that certain things
were immediately recognizable.
The body was just under six feet long, with a full head of dark, curly
hair. The clothes were more or less intact. Blue
jeans, an achingly familiar red shirt and a dark blue sweater.
Hutch recognized that sweater. It was the one that Starsky
had given him on his last birthday. The one that had somehow
migrated over to Starsky's closet. The one that his friend
loved to tease him with by wearing it on cool days.
Hutch turned away from the horror in front of him. Dobey and Huggy
watched as he walked away from them, towards the
gravesite. Watched as he picked up the stone with the name David
painted on it and hurled it into the trunk of the
sheltering tree standing over the grave. And they followed him
as he walked away across the meadow and back towards
the waiting cars.
*******
I'm so tired but I can't sleep
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard
*******
Dobey lost track of Hutch and Huggy when he had to wait for Jacobs to
catch up to him and unlock the gate. Hutch had
simply gone over the top of the gate, disappearing down the trail.
Huggy had clambered after him, not wanting to loose
sight of him for a minute. By the time the Captain puffed his
way into the parking lot both men were getting into the car.
This time Huggy was in the front. Hutch had, without saying a
word, got in the back and firmly shut the door. The older
man sighed and got behind the wheel and started the long journey home.
He knew that Hobson would take care of the
scene and the arrangements to transport the body (he couldn't bring
himself to think of that pathetic corpse as Starsky,
not yet) to Parker Station's morgue.
If it was possible, the trip back into town was more silent than the
one out had been. Dobey kept looking in his rearview
mirror, checking on Hutch. His heart ached for the silent man
in the backseat. He sat so still that he looked as if
someone had turned him to stone. Flipped some switch and drained
all the life out of him. Hutch had not said one word
since the body was uncovered. Not one emotion crossed that pale
face. Staring straight ahead, he gave no clue as to
what was going on inside. And that frightened Dobey a great deal.
He could tell that Huggy was worried too from the way
he sat half-turned in his seat, just keeping watch over his friend.
If either of them had known what was going on in Hutch's mind, they
would have had even more reason to be worried.
Hutch was planning. Although he wouldn't allow himself ever to
fully believe that Starsky was dead, he had one purpose
left him. If his partner were truly dead there would only be
one last task left for him to perform. To find the man
responsible for his partner's disappearance. Before he had been
searching for Starsky, talking to everyone he could
think of, bringing in anyone that he thought might have anything to
do with the case. Looking everywhere, but finding
nothing. Righteous anger had replaced his fear and grief.
And when he found that man, the one responsible for all the pain, he
would kill him. Without Starsky, there was no
reason for him to hang onto his high moral code. What good had
it done him if it had taken away the only person he
could ever love? He would kill his friend's murderer coolly,
calmly, and with a great deal of satisfaction. It wouldn't matter
what happened to him after that. Law and order had nothing to
do with this anymore. It would be personal justice that
mattered, an eye for an eye. The oldest law in the world.
After he had served justice, then he would permit himself to grieve. But until then, grief would have to wait.
***
He spent the rest of the day filling out reports, searching more files,
and waiting. It would be several days before all the
autopsy reports were in. Hutch had contacted Starsky's dentist,
himself, to get the dental records sent over to the
morgue.
Dobey had asked Hutch if he wanted to phone Starsky's mother or if he
wanted him to do it. Hutch had spoken to
Starsky's mother the first Friday that Starsky was gone. Because
his friend called his mother every Friday without fail, he
knew that he had to tell her something, so he had lied to her.
Told her a cock-and-bull story about undercover work.
That her son would be out of contact for the duration, not to worry.
Until they knew something definite, he couldn't
burden someone that his friend loved with the same pain he was going
through. And he still wasn't about to make that
last phone call, not until the final autopsy report was in. He
couldn't do that to her. He had asked Dobey to wait until they
knew for sure.
A preliminary report from the forensics team came across his desk.
It listed all the items from the scene. Itemized the
clothing, the shovel, and everything else that had been in the grave
with the body. It took Hutch a few minutes to notice
what was missing. Although the report listed Starsky's watch
(the one that Hutch had given him last Christmas, <oh
buddy>), a too long leather belt, even those bright red socks his partner
loved, there was no mention of Starsky's rings.
The silver and gold ones that he always wore on his left pinky finger.
Hutch couldn't remember a time that he hadn't worn
them.
Hutch called down to the morgue. He insisted that they check out
the personal effects again. The coroner told him that
he would examine the left hand carefully in case the rings had sunk
into the flesh. Hutch really hadn't wanted to hear
that, but he agreed and told the man to call him back immediately.
He turned back to the report. There was also no
mention of the other shoe, the match to the one left for Hutch, but
that wasn't as unusual as the rings. The shoe could
have disappeared anywhere. The rings had to be there. Unless,
of course, the killer had kept them for a souvenir.
***
Throughout the day, Dobey kept an eye on his detective. He recognized
the calm efficiency that Hutch was displaying.
He had seen it before. The time that the partners had worked
to find the man responsible for Starsky's poisoning, Hutch
had been just like this. Cool, almost to the point of coldness,
but not towards his failing partner. Going over every clue,
every lead, with precision and detachment. The only time emotion,
an unbending, crept in was when Starsky needed
him. Then he had been gentle and loving. Dobey wondered
if he'd ever see that side of Hutch again.
***
The coroner called back to tell Hutch that the rings were definitely
not there. Hutch felt a little thrill of hope, that maybe;
just maybe, his partner was still alive out there. Waiting for
him to find him and bring him home. A tiny little hope, but it
was enough to give him something to cling too. But he still felt
cold inside, as if something had died in him out there at
that gravesite. Something vital. Like his soul.
***
Dobey finally convinced Hutch to go home, to rest, although both men
knew that there would be little rest for either of
them for a long time. Hutch had persuaded Huggy to go home hours
before. Traumatized by what he had seen that day,
Huggy was a basketcase. Looking into those cold, blue eyes, the
other man had realized that it was safe to leave Hutch
alone. That until he had found either his partner alive or the
person who had killed him, that he would keep going now.
Until justice was served.
***
Driving mechanically, Hutch paid little attention to what was going
on around him on the way home. He stopped for traffic
lights automatically, braking and accelerating when necessary.
The animal portion of his mind, the part that kept him
breathing, had taken over and was running the show. The human
part had retreated away from the pain that hovered
around the edges. It was the only way he'd survive for the next
while. Not thinking, not feeling anything but that cold
need for revenge. He couldn't allow himself to miss Starsky,
not yet.
Pulling up in front of Venice Place, he sucked in his breathe in shock.
For just a moment, he thought he saw his partner
coming out of the restaurant downstairs. That same curly hair,
black denim jacket, and faded blue jeans. His heart leapt
in hope until the man turned around and he realized his mistake.
It wasn't Starsky. It was a stranger.
Hutch watched as the man walked by the car. On second look, saw
that them man didn’t really look like Starsky after all.
The man didn't move with the same arrogant swagger that his partner
did, the same animal grace. He didn't have the
same half-serious, half-cocky expression that Starsky usually wore
when he was by himself. No heavy dark eyebrows, no
deep blue eyes, no wide, silly grin. The man was just a man.
No one special. Not like his partner at all.
The incident unnerved Hutch. Just for a moment, he had to lay
his forehead on the steering wheel to collect himself. His
heart was beating too fast, his breath coming in short hard gasps.
He couldn't let distractions sway him from the course
he had set for himself. To find his partner and bring him home.
If that body in the morgue was indeed his partner, then
so be it. He would arrange the funeral, the headstone.
He would sit Shiva for his friend, say Kaddish. Starsky was the
closest person to him in the world. It was his duty to perform
these acts of love.
However, until the day that he had proof positive that Starsky was dead,
he would go on searching. He could do nothing
else. And if during that search, he found the one who had hurt
them both, then all well and good. Justice, Hutch's justice,
would prevail.
Reaffirming his vow, Hutch was able to get out of the car and go up
the long flight of stairs to his apartment. The rooms
were dark and cold. He had left all the curtains closed that
morning when he left for work. Somehow, it seemed wrong to
let the sunlight into this space that hadn't know Starsky for so long.
Without his best friend how could any mere sun warm
this empty place? Both the physical space of the apartment and
the cold place in his heart.
Hutch took off his jacket and flung it on a chair. Stripped off
the gun harness and carelessly dropped it on the sofa.
Threw his car keys on the kitchen table. He was heading for the
fridge when he noticed one of his plants looked a bit
droopy. Stopping, he picked up the ceramic pot and studied the
little plant. This one was an African violet that some
past girlfriend had given him. He couldn't remember which one.
It had only bloomed once since he had it. Soft mauve
blossoms. Suddenly he hated the little plant. Hated it
for living, for being alive when his partner wasn't. He dropped it
to
the floor, not noticing the shards of pottery that flew across the
kitchen. Hutch headed for his greenhouse.
By the time the sun set and the room became too dark to see; Hutch was
surrounded by broken pots and dying plants.
The only ones to survive the onslaught were the ones that Starsky had
given him. Even in his cold rage, he couldn't
bring himself to destroy something his partner had given him.
Exhausted, Hutch collapsed into one of the greenhouse
chairs. The one Starsky usually sat in when they hung out in
the little jungle. For the first time since that awful Monday,
since Starsky disappeared from his life, Hutch allowed himself to remember
what love felt like. The love for his partner,
his best friend that had somewhere along the line transformed itself
into something more than mere friendship. Had
transformed itself into the reason for his entire being. The
promise of a kind of love that he might never be able to fulfill.
And for the first time, Hutch allowed himself to feel how deeply the
loss of possibilities could cut.
*******
Morning found him in tight control again. He showered and dressed
automatically. Fixed something to eat and left his
apartment. Hutch didn't pay any attention to the destruction
he'd created the night before. He simply stepped over the
remains and went about preparing for the day. Another day without
Starsky.
***
Even though it was hours before his shift was due to start, Hutch went
in to work. When Dobey arrived for the beginning
of the day shift, he found his quiet detective going through files.
Again. Stacks of files and printouts had moved their way
across Hutch's desk in the past two weeks. Sorted, read, analyzed
and discarded. The blond knew that somewhere in
the history of his career as a cop there was the answer to everything.
To why someone hated him enough to take
everything away from him. And he was determined to find it.
Left alone, he worked without paying much attention to what went on
around him. Coffee would appear at his elbow and
he would drink it. Someone put a sandwich down in front of him
and he ate it. The only times he looked away from the
files was to call down to records for more or to call to check on something
he found. He made copious notes, anything
that he thought important, no matter how slight.
***
By noon, he had found four possibilities. All cases he had worked
by himself or with someone other than Starsky. One
involved a robbery-homicide that forced Hutch to shoot and kill the
perp in self-defense. The second was a hostage
situation that resulted in the death of the hostage before the police
could rescue her. That one had always bothered
Hutch because he felt he could have done more to save the woman.
The third was a drug bust gone wrong where the
only survivors were three policemen, Hutch one of them. The fourth
was a child molestation case, two children dead, and
the molester in the psych wing of the prison.
The robbery-homicide case was one that occurred when Starsky had gone
home to be with his mom when she went in for
surgery. Hutch and a new detective named Simms temporally teamed
together during that absence. The two of them
had run the criminal to ground and killed him during a shootout.
The only other causality was Simms who took a bullet in
the leg, but he was soon back to work. Not long after Starsky
was back, Simms transferred to another division. The last
Hutch heard he was doing well. The robber was only twenty, and
his father had made some threats against the two
officers. Worth taking a look at.
The hostage case happened during the period after Starsky's shooting
in the restaurant. His partner was laid up for a
couple of months from that one, so again Hutch teamed with another
detective. Jefferies, an older police officer, was still
with the department working in robbery now. The three of them
often went for drinks together after work. The incident
had started during a botched bank heist. The woman died when
she panicked and tried to run. Hutch was the negotiator
on that one; he had always felt that if the woman had remained calm,
everyone would have gotten out unhurt. Her
husband had made some heated comments about police incompetency and
threatened to sue everyone involved. He
disappeared not long after, taking his threats with him. Hutch
planned to find out to where he had disappeared.
The drug bust was one of Hutch's cases from his rookie days, before
his partnership with Starsky. The drug dealers
ambushed the police and if it hadn't have been for Hutch's training
officer pushing him behind a stack of crates, he would
have been killed. As it was, only Hutch, his TO and one narcotics
detective survived. Two other uniforms, the detective's
partner, and the two drug runners died. It had been a black smudge
on the reputation of the whole department. The
family of dead detective expressed a lot of bitterness towards the
surviving officers. Hutch remembered the man's
teenage son being especially angry; who for some reason had targeted
Hutch with that anger. Hutch wondered where
the young man was now.
The two of them had begun the fourth case together then Starsky came
down with a terrible flu virus. That case still
haunted Hutch. Both he and Starsky had a special form of disgust
for child molesters. And this one was on the top of
their list. The man had abducted two little girls, sisters aged
seven and eight, and held them captive for days before the
police found his hiding place. By the time Hutch and the rest
of the team arrived, the younger girl was already dead and
the other died in hospital. If the molester hadn't have surrendered
without resistance, any of the attending officers would
have gladly blown him away. The man, sentenced to life in prison,
killed another inmate and ended up in the psych ward
for the rest of his natural life. Both detectives figured he
got off light. Hutch had needed his partner by the time
everything was over. Starsky pretty much moved in with Hutch
for a few days until the nightmares passed. His friend
would hold him until the visions of that hell he revisited in his dreams
left him. Even took to sleeping in the bed with him.
The Kirby sisters' case occurred two years previous. Hutch knew
that the brutal deaths of their children devastated the
girls' family. He had heard that the mother eventually committed
suicide and one of the older children ran away from
home. No one in the family ever publicly accused the police of
mishandling the case but the press had a field's day when
it was found out that the convicted, Leon Ballard, had a history of
child abuse. Shortly before the girls' abduction, the
police dropped another charge against Ballard because of insufficient
evidence. It took several weeks before the dust
settled and the press went on to another hot topic. But by then,
the Kirby family couldn't survive the damage. Hutch
planned on finding out where the remaining family members were.
***
Hutch spent the rest of the afternoon tracking down the people involved
in the four cases. Many had moved away, some
died, and some simply disappeared. A few promising leads came
up. Preparing a list, the detective was just about to go
to his Captain to request warrants when that same Captain came into
the squad room. Dobey held a file folder in one
hand and was wiping a handkerchief across his forehead with the other.
The blond was a bit shocked at his Captain's
appearance. The large man was visibly trembling and looked as
if he needed to sit down. Hutch stood and gestured for
Dobey to take his chair. Going to the water cooler, he brought
back some water. Dobey gulped the drink and seemed to
collect himself.
Dobey lay the folder on Hutch's desk. Hutch felt the blood drain
from his face as he recognized the writing on that folder.
It was from the coroner's office. The words 'Autopsy Report case
#6725' practically screamed at him. Pulling the chair
out from Starsky's desk, Hutch sat down. And prepared himself
for what was inside the folder.
The whole squadroom had quieted. If silence could be a noise,
it would have deafened everyone in the room. Dobey
sat, looking at his taciturn detective with compassion.
"Captain, just tell me what it says." Hutch's voice, low and quiet, broke Dobey's state of suspension.
"Hutch. Son. The coroner compared Starsky's dental records with the body's. It's not Starsky." Blunt and to the point.
A sense of relief flooded through Hutch. And a justification in
the belief that the body was not that of his friend. That
maybe, just maybe, Starsky was alive out there. That there was
still a reason to hope. To believe in miracles.
He had to put his head down on the desk for a moment. When he
looked back up into his Captain's eyes, his own were
alive again. Picking up the list he had made, he handed it to
Dobey.
"Sir, this is a list of people that I would like brought in for questioning in this case. I'll need some warrants."
Dobey took the list and went back to his office to make some phone calls.
He gripped Hutch's shoulder as he went by,
not sure that the other man even noticed. Hutch had opened the
coroner's report and was going over it carefully. Dobey
sighed, his heart breaking for the calm detective.
Although the captain knew that the coroner's findings gave Hutch renewed
hope, he was afraid. Afraid that the next time,
especially if the next time really was Starsky, would break him.
Afraid that they might never find the other's partner. That
Hutch would go on hoping, dying a little every day, every time the
phone rang, and another false lead came in. Afraid
that one day that hope would eat away everything good and decent in
Hutch and leave an empty shell. He knew what
such hope could do to a person. And that knowledge was a terrible
thing. Captain Dobey mourned for the loss that he
was afraid was coming. The loss of both partners, because one
couldn't live without the other.