| The Stonecutters Song Who controls the British crown Who keeps the metric system down We do! We do! Who leaves Atlantis off the maps Who keeps the Martians under wraps We do! We do! Who holds back the electric car Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star We do! We do! Who robs the cave fish of their sight Who rigs every Oscar night We do! We do! See My Vest You see, some men hunt for sport, others hunt for food The only thing I'm hunting for Is an outfit that looks good See my vest, see my vest, made from real gorilla chest See this sweater there's no better than authentic Irish setter see this hat, 'twas my cat My evening wear a vampire bat This white slippers are albino African endangered rhino Grizzly bear underwear Turtles necks I've got my share Beret of poodle on my noodle it shall rest! Try my red robin suit It comes one breast or two see my vest, see my vest, see my vest Like my loafers former gophers It was that or skin my chauffeurs But a greyhound fur tuxedo would be best So lets prepare these dogs kill two for matching clogs see my vest see my vest oh, please, won't you see my veesssst The Springfield Song Springfield, Springfield It's a hell of a town! The Schoolyard's up and the shopping mall's down! The stray dogs go to the animal pound! Springfield, Springfield! Springfield, Springfield! New York, New York! New York is that-a-way man. Thanks, kid! It's a hell of-a-towwwnnn Itchy And Scratchy Theme They fight, they bite They bite and fight and bite bite, bite, bite fight, fight, fight The Itchy and Scratchy Show Who Needs The Kwik-E-Mart Whether igloo, hut or lean-to Or a geodesic dome There's no structure I have been to Which I'd rather call my home... When I first arrived you were all such jerks But now I've come to looove you quirks Maggie with her eyes so bright Marge with hair by Frank Lloyd Wright Lisa can philosophize Bart's adept at spinning lies Homer's a delightful fella Sorry 'bout the salmonella Who needs the kwik-e-mart? Now here's the tricky part Oh won't you rhyme with me? Who needs the kwik-e-mart Their floors are sticky-mart! They made dad sicky-mart! Let's hurl a bricky-mart! That Kwik-e-mart is real-D'oh! Who needs the kwik-e-mart? Not Me! Faith off Satan, eat my shorts I was a sinner, a real bad kid. What thou shalt not, I shalt did. Neighbour's cat I tried to neuter Took a whiz on the school's computer He took a whiz, oh, yes he did But now I changed, you can't deny Come on up, and testify Testify, testify, come on up and testify! My hip's misbehavin' Testify! Got a nicotine cravin' Testify! Got a cramp in my glavin Testify! Testify! Testify! Happy Birthday Mr. Burns I'd Just like to say this gig sucks Hey up yours Springfield Happy Birthday To You Happy Birthday To You Happy Birthday, Burnsie Happy Birthday To You! Go To Hell you old bastard! Kamp Krusty Hail to thee, Kamp Krusty By the shores of Big Snake Lake Though your swings are rusty We know they'll never break. From your gleaming mess hall To your hallowed baseball field Your spic-and-span infirmary Where all our wounds are healed Hail to thee, Kamp Krusty below Mount Avalanche. We will always love Kamp Krusty A registered trademark of the Krusty Corporation, All rights reserved! Everybody Loves Ned Flanders Hens Love Roosters Geese Love Ganders Everyone else loves Ned Flanders Not me! Everyone who counts loves Ned Flanders! -- Ned Speaks To Rod and Tod -- Hens Love Roosters Geese Love Ganders Everyone else loves Ned Flanders Mr. Plow When the snow starts falling Theres a man you should be calling That's kel-54796 Let it ring! Mr. Plow is a loser And I think he's a boozer So you better make that call to the plow king! Can I Borrow a Feeling Can I borrow a feeling Could you lend me a jar of love hurt hearts need some healing Take my hand with this glove of love! Beer Song When I was 17. I drank some very good beer. I drank some very good beer I purchased with a fake I.D. My name was Bryan Magee. I stayed up listening to Queen When I was 17. The "Canyonero" Jungle Can you name the truck with 4- wheel drive, smells like steak, and seats thirty-five? Canyonero! Canyonero! Hey, hey! Twelve yards long, two lanes wide, sixty-five tons of American pride! Canyonero! Canyonero! She blinds everybody with her super high-beams. She's a squirrel-squashin', deer-smakin' drivin' machine. Canyonero! Canyonero! Canyonero! Whoa, Canyonero! Whoa! Checkin' In Judge: How do you find the defendent? Jury Foreman: He's guilty of mayhem, exposure incedent. Jurist #1: Freaked-out behavior both chronic and recent. Jury: Drinking and driving, narcotics possesion. Jurist #2: And that's just page one of his ten page confession. Judge: I should put you away where you can't kill or maim us, but this is LA, and your rich and famous. Young Celebrity: Im Checkin in! Doctors and Patients: He's checkin in! Young Celebrity: Im checkin in! Young Celebrity: No more pills or alcohol,no more pot or Demorol, no more stinkin fun at all! Im checkin in! Doctors and Patients: He's checkin in! He's checkin in! Doctor: No more looking pale and thin, no more bugs beneath your skin! Young Celebrity: Hey, that's just my aspirin! Doctors and Patients: Chuck it out! Your Checkin In!!!!! |
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