The Dartnel
April
30, 2007 
The
Sea of Life
I
recently found something that I wrote about ten years ago. It's a
half-finished novel (or novella; I never decided whether or not to flesh the
thing out when I was working on it). Some of it, I feel, is fairly
horrid. For instance, my female protagonist has way too quick a
change of heart toward the male protagonist; it's not believable at all.
Then again, some of it is quite excellent. I've decided to post part of
one chapter (actually, calling these "chapters" is overly generous;
each "chapter" takes maybe two minutes to read). For somebody
who hated philosophy at college, I can sure get philosophical. I hope you
enjoy this.
Darrell
The
sea of life goes on, indifferent to the attitudes or feelings of those sailing
on it. One rows their boat gently down a stream, heading instinctively
towards the sea. Laughing merrily, they know that the trip is but a
dream.
The
sea of life deals out more despair than merriness. One learns to grab
hold of the merriness, squeeze it for all its worth, because the merriness
might not last long and because it might not come again. One also learns
to accept the despair, believing that it will not last, believing that
merriness is just a couple of rows away.
The
sea of life dishes out many storms. Almost everyone must deal with these
storms, whether they be a hurricane or a thunderstorm. How one deals with
the storm defines who he or she is. During a hurricane, survival is the
top priority. One walking out of a hurricane shows their strength or
intelligence. During a thunderstorm, one must sometimes grin and bear
it. Walking out of a thunderstorm with a smile on one's face shows their
indestructible good nature.
The
sea of life drops many tranquil periods. One must take advantage of these
periods. It's not every day that everything goes right for someone.
Also, normally these periods don't last for long. Carpe diem -
seize the day. That is a good motto to live by.
April
25, 2007
Curtain
Call
First
off, I realized last night that I forgot to tell y'all just where
we're performing Oklahoma! We'll be out at Carl Albert State
College, in the Carl Albert Auditorium. It'll be the building with all
those vehicles parked around it. Again, tonight and tomorrow night at 7,
and Sunday afternoon at 2. $7 for adults, $5 for children and senior
citizens.
I
can't even begin to tell you how much fun we've all had in putting together
this show for all of you to enjoy. Believe me, it will show. I'm
not going to be chewing the scenery as much as I did in Charlie and the
Chocolate Factory, but then again, the sets aren't made of candy this time
around! (insert groan at
bad pun here) Actually, the change of pace from C&tCF
to Oklahoma! has been much appreciated for me. I'm not in every
scene, so I actually have ample opportunities to relax backstage! In
addition, I'm not wearing a heavy coat underneath those hot stage lights, so I
should smell a lot better afterward!
Here
are the five signs you've been in way too many plays:
1. Whenever someone says "Hello," you
bow and say, "Thank you!"
2. When you forget something at work, you yell
out, "Line!"
3. The report you give your boss contains a positive
critique of your most recent performance.
4. You break out into random show-stopping
numbers at random times of day.
5. Before you go to bed, you yell out,
"That's a wrap!"
And
remember, a vote for me is a vote for opportunity! (Eh... Maybe I
should switch to decaf.)
That's
a wrap!
Darrell
April
19, 2007
Oklahoma!
A-Comin'
Okay,
here's the information you've all been waiting for...
Balding Men in
Funny Hats Are Losers!
Ummm...
can we please try that again? Thank you.
Okay,
here's the information you've all been waiting for...
Oklahoma! Show Times Set
That's better!
Here
are the show times for Oklahoma!:
Thursday, April
26, at 7:00 PM
Friday, April 27, at 7:00 PM
Sunday, April 29 at 2:00 PM
Tickets
are $7 for adults and $5 for children. By the way, "adults,"
don't think that just because you act childish all the time, you're entitled to
a $2 discount. I have to pay full ticket price all three nights, and I'm in
the show! (Probably shoulda been nicer to the director, who's an
incredible talent and a joy to work with, although I'd never actually admit to
saying so! (Um... she doesn't read the Dartnel, does she?))
I've
got to share this with you. We're having too much fun for constantly
blowing our lines and missing cues (and R's and S's - sorry, that was too
obvious!). Tuesday night, one of us evidently was thinking 500 years into
the future. One of the leads is a guy by the name of Will Parker, who
isn't exactly the brightest bulb to ever light up (the character, not the actor
who plays him). So naturally, one of us blew a line by saying, "I
hear Will Riker's back in
town." Sadly, that wasn't the worst of it. Some
balding-headed, glasses-wearing goof who shall remain nameless delivered
one of his lines late in the proceedings, sounding like a bad Barney
Fife. Of course, he couldn't leave well enough alone.
After calling himself on it, and getting agreement from the director, he then
said, in his best Barney Fife voice, "Nip it in the bud!"
Brought the house down! Of course, you've got to be suspicious of a guy
who once said that he never takes his shirt off unless money's involved.
I hope nobody figures out that I was referring to myself.
One
to beam up.
Darrell
April
12, 2007
Deer and
Musicals
Hello,
everyone! What a beautiful day here in Poteau! Of course, that
means tomorrow will be a stormy mess. What can I do?
Yesterday
morning, I saw something I never expected to see. Two deer came across
the road and leapt into the woods aside the house. Deer are so
graceful! Unlike a certain Web blogger who shall remain
anonymous... (HINT: You can see him in Oklahoma! at the end of
April. More details forthcoming.)
It
reminded me of an incident from a few years ago, when I was in the process of
destroying my car... I mean, when I was going to NSU in Tahlequah. (And I
decided to commute from Poteau why???) It was about 2003, I
think. For those of you familiar with the area, I was just north of Keys
on Highway 82, more or less in front of Jimmy Houston's convenience
store. A deer ran out on the highway, behind me, and leapt through the
air, over a pickup truck just behind me! There was also that time when I
stopped on what I call the Cookson-Marble City-Sallisaw connection (from Sallisaw,
take Maple Street north, go through Marble City, turn right at the end of the
road, and you come out on Hwy. 82 at Cookson) so that a few deer could cross
the road without me being involved in a wreck.
Speaking
of graceful, I continue to ready myself for dancing in Oklahoma!
I checked out a book at the library yesterday. (Um, Darrell, where else
can you check out a book?) It's the story of how Oklahoma! came
to be. SIDE NOTE: I don't check books out
often. Over the past year or so, I think I've checked out four, maybe
five books. Oddly enough, this book was resting on the shelves right next
to a book on the Cathedral Quartet that I checked out last year!
Back
to Oklahoma! (If you're reading this, Lisa, I'm trying my best
not to misspell it!) Just glancing through the book, I learned a couple
of interesting things. One: Florence Henderson, Mrs. Brady herself,
starred in Oklahoma! once upon a time. Go figure. Two: The
exclamation point at the end of Oklahoma! isn't an accident. One
of the composers/authors/whoevers (I think it was either Rogers or Hammerstein)
said that if an exclamation point was added to the end of the title, he'd go
with it. Interesting, isn't it?
We've
got a couple of scenes tonight to go over. Next week, we put it all
together; the week after that, we have rehearsals and then performances.
Shortly thereafter, in all probability, I'll have new pictures of me in a new
funny hat! Actually, I think our esteemed director doesn't care for me
all that much. I get the distinct impression that my character is more
reviled than the supposed villain of the story is! Everybody's telling me
to shut up, and one person even insults me! Wait a minute... Is it
me or my character they're shushing?
Gotta go; I have to get a comb over!
Darrell
Easter
Ruminations
Today, I'm dealing with
secularism. Relax; it's just something I find odd. Growing up
(which I'm currently in the process of doing!), I remember all those great old
Easter commercials, like the Cadbury (sp?) bunny and how all the animals wanted
to be said bunny. (Actually... wasn't that the only one?) I
seem to remember that you could go and sit on the Easter bunny's knee had have
your picture taken with him, a la Santa Claus.
Nowadays, what do you see?
Oh, sure, they still sell Easter candy (as a side note, I actually managed to
spell it "canday" just now!), and it's still a holiday, unless you're
trying to win the Masters come Sunday. Still Easter egg hunts and Easter
egg dying and Easter egg throwing... Uh, I'm not real sure about that
last one...
My point is, I can't remember
the last time I saw a Cadbury crème-filled chocolate egg commercial. Come
to think of it, I'm not sure I can remember seeing a Cadbury crème-filled
chocolate egg recently; if they aren't making them anymore, it kind of
blows a gigantic hole in my ramble. It doesn't seem as though advertisers
are pushing Easter as hard as they used to. (Then again, maybe I should
go into Wal-Mart.) I, for one, am glad about this. One
over-commercialized holiday a year is two too many.
A Happy Easter to you and all of
yours.
Darrell
April
Fools - So-Called News
Stay tuned for a bonus after our
feature presentation...
Stunning News:
Everything Originated in Russia
By D.D. Plank
Sun Apr 1, 1701 PM GMT
DARTVILLE,
Pavel Chekov, professor emeritus at Moscow University of Arts and
Science Fiction, has presented stunning proof that practically everything on
Earth, from automobiles to streetlights to washing machines to zoos, has its
origins in land that is now part of Russia.
"This vill change history, Keptin," Mr. Chekov said (not
sure about the "Keptin" reference). "Up to now, ve have
tolerated your countries' claims that they inwented certain things that ve came
up vith. Now, the truth can be told."
Among the items on Mr. Chekov's list: cup holders
("inwented by an old man from Moscow"), scotch ("inwented by a
little old lady from Leningrad"), triticale (a grain previously believed
to have originated in Canada), automobiles ("a man from Minsk inwented
that"), and American cheese ("comes from St. Petersburg").
Mr. Chekov also claims that other items have their origins in
Russian history. He claims that the author of Alice in Wonderland
and Cinderella is the same person, his great-grandfather Lewis
"Walt" Chekov. He also claims that the original site of the
Garden of Eden, referenced in the Biblical book of Genesis, is in modern-day
Siberia. In addition, he claims that the saying "Fool me once, shame
on you; fool me twice, same on me" is an old Russian proverb.
Ironically, Mr. Chekov claims that vodka is not a Russian
"inwention", as previously thought. In his words, "Wodka
vas actually inwented in Vales, but ve liked the flavor, so ve co-opted it,
Keptin."
And if you believe all of that,
I have a bridge in Brooklyn I'd like to sell you.
Finally, here's your bonus: a
list of "The Best Things Said Between April Fool's Days."
BEST THING SAID TO ONE'S BOSS:
"And your whiny, self-important, impossible-to-accomplish, idiotic opinion
would be?"
BEST THING SAID BY A MUSICAL
DIRECTOR TO A TONE-DEAF ACTOR:
"Just put on this silly hat, Darrell, and get out there and stop your
bellyaching!" (Well, it doesn't have to involve singing,
now, does it?)
BEST THING OVERHEARD AT A POT
LUCK SUPPER:
"The doctor will be here any minute now."
BEST EXCUSE FOR MISSING
WORK:
"You fired me last week for my opinion of your opinion!"
BEST REASON FOR LOGGING ONTO THE
INTERNET:
"I just had to see what nonsensical thing Darrell was rambling on about on
his blog."
BEST MOVIE THAT DIDN'T GET
FILMED:
The Bald and the Balder
Darrell