The Dartnel

August 31, 2005

Special Entry

I just wanted to take a moment to rail about gas prices.

I realize that we just suffered a massive natural catastrophe (Hurricane Katrina) that has basically shut down the Gulf of Mexico, but still gas prices are way out of control. Over the past month the price of a gallon of gasoline in Poteau has shot up eighty cents. What happened three weeks ago, with gas spiking thirty cents, was completely unwarranted. We keep hearing about how the big oil companies are reaping record profits (probably to stuff the pockets of their CEOs and other top executives who are probably making millions in salary alone). Why, then, can’t they give us a break at the pump? I honestly feel that we’re being gouged at the pump. I also feel that it’s not the President’s fault; the same thing would be happening if Democrats were running the country. Local gas stations don’t make money off of gas, and I’m beginning to suspect that gasoline distributors don’t either. Big oil, I feel, is artificially inflating the price of oil. In addition, we don’t have enough oil refining capability in this country. If any refinery was destroyed by Katrina (just one), we will see gas prices approach $5 a barrel. The oil companies will see to it. They don’t care about the economy or common people; they only care about money, money, money.

I realize that, in writing this, I may be severely harming my chances for employment. Big oil, after all, needs accountants. Frankly, I don’t care. They’re basically punishing us for 9/11, when oil prices crumbled and we were paying 93 cents a gallon for gasoline. Frankly, from 2000 through 2003, gas prices didn’t go up very much. It was only last summer when we were hit over the head with high gas prices. (Oh, how I’d love to pay a mere $1.869 a gallon again!) Let’s face it: big oil runs the country. They would be running the country even if Democrats were in charge. They’ll probably get a big government bailout for the damages to refineries and oil pumping platforms, etc., in the Gulf. We can’t nail them for price gouging because they’re all doing it at once. They’re a conglomerate. All we can do is pray that their greed doesn’t bankrupt this country.

Take my advice. If you have to buy a new vehicle, invest in one of those vehicles that gets 50 miles or more to the gallon. Please, stay away from the minivans. All we can do now is conserve.

Darrell

August 30, 2005

I warned you that I’d have a new entry ready by today at the latest! No griping, Stan!

It was back to Oklahoma City for me Friday. Let me tell you, that’s way too far to go for a job interview! Hey, you do what you have to do. Of course, if gas prices keep going through the roof ($2.70 here now, and probably on the fast track to $3.50), I’ll just have to give up and work as a stock boy at Wal-Mart. The getting there (to OKC) may be a pain in the back, but the interview itself was actually pleasant. I’ve stumbled across something. If you eat before your interview, you’ll do better than if you don’t eat. The only truly bad interview I’ve had over the past year came when I didn’t eat until after the interview. (That was due to time constraints; I didn’t have the time to eat.) I’ve just about decided that, once I get a job, I’m going to have my old rust bucket of a car fixed rather than buy a newer model. New air conditioning, engine check-up, fix the driver’s side window, that sort of thing. The old thing still drives remarkably well.

Today’s uplifting thought from the Dartman: Don’t ever change. I’ll never recognize you elsewise.

I saw something Friday night on my way home that disgusted me. I saw a woman, about six or seven months pregnant, outside a restaurant smoking. Do I really have to explain why this is a stupid thing to do? First off, smoking is just plain stupid in the first place. (Especially if your idea of smoking is setting yourself on fire, and I realize that this is a weak joke, so shut up already!) Do smokers not notice the warning labels on packages of cigarettes? Most of them are warnings about the health risks to fetuses. (I’m not defining fetuses, Stan!) Simply speaking, smoking is bad for unborn children. It can lead to birth defects and health complications once that baby is born. If you’re pregnant, don’t smoke. If you’re alive, don’t smoke. Ah, why not? If you’re dead, don’t smoke.

It just occurred to me. There may be a real person named Stan who reads the Dartnel. He probably gets really upset when he reads this and sees how often I pick on a guy named Stan. If anybody reading this is named Stan, I sincerely apologize. I’m not referring to you!

Yes, you’ve heard the bad news. Despite public opinion, I will be appearing in a musical around the middle of October. It’s called Hello Dolly! (I probably should check the punctuation in the title.) Don’t worry; I don’t have a featured role. I’m merely part of the chorus. Most of the cast are students at Carl Albert State College. Among the others, I believe that only I am not employed by CASC. I’m probably wrong about this, though. Since it is a musical, I do have to sing. That means only one thing: it’s time to buy earplugs. (Even those of you who live in Japan; I’m not taking any chances with this!) Of course, that is all dependent on my job search. If I get one of those jobs in OKC, then we have nothing to worry about!

Speaking of things to worry about, it’s the…

Word of the Week: bagatelle – n. meaning 1. A trifle; a thing of little or no importance; 2. A short, light musical or literary piece; 3. A game played with a cue and balls on an oblong table having cups or arches at one end (pronounced bag-uh-TEL)

Peace, out!

Darrell

August 27, 2005

Short Entry

This is just a very quick update on the past week, with only the facts and no substance (i.e., no uplifting thought or Word of the Week). Basically, I’m simply confirming that I’m still alive and kicking!

The bad news is, I have a role in the musical. The good news is, it’s not a major part! The directors had the good sense to put me in the chorus and not hand me a solo to butcher. (Just the facts, Darrell, just the facts). Hello, Dolly, it is called. We’ll have more than a month to pull it all together (actually time to experiment!). In other news, yesterday I had another job interview (when it rains, it pours), yet again in Oklahoma City. All I’m saying is that it went well. Finally, I have no other news to report as of this time.

I will try to have a normal rambling entry up by Monday or Tuesday. Until then, adieu!

Darrell

August 19, 2005

Anybody who missed me, please let me know. My psychiatrist needs the business! (This is a joke; I’m not in any form or type of therapy.)

Shortly after my last Dartnel entry, I received a phone call from another prospective employer in Oklahoma City! I went in to see them Monday. That’s right; I had to make two trips to OKC! (Did I mention that gas prices spiked some 30 cents a gallon over the past week?) Ah, well, I feel it worked out better that way. My Friday interview was crappy, to put it mildly. To be honest, I may not have liked that job; I’d spend much more time on the road than at home. The Monday interview went well, and – per the Superstition Principle – that’s all I’m allowed to say at this time.

Driving in OKC is an adventure. I have enough problems driving in Poteau (population approx. 10,000). It can be nightmarish driving in OKC (population approx. 400,000, not counting suburbs). The way the interstates are laid out in OKC is funky. If I were to get a job there, I’d probably have to go on a scouting trip around the city, finding where the exits are, what lane to be in to use them, what lane to use when just getting around, and how to deal with getting cut off constantly by other drivers.

Speaking of other drivers, and tying back in to the book idea I mentioned last month, I can’t believe that some people refuse to use their headlights even when it’s pouring rain. You may not need your headlights to see, but I need you to use your headlights when it’s pouring rain so I can see you! Oftentimes, headlights are the first indication of oncoming traffic, giving you twice the reaction time than if the driver isn’t using their headlights. Earlier this week, it was really coming down, and I would guess that one out of five vehicles didn’t have their headlights on. Egads! (I’ll make a fortune with my book!)

Today’s uplifting thought from the Dartman (which, like everything else this week, is just a little bit late): Children are the future. Therefore, buy insurance on everything! (Let’s face it; if they conduct their everyday business similar to the way they drive, we’re all in trouble!)

Yesterday, things were different… wait, that’s a song lyric. Let me try again. Yesterday, I auditioned for a musical. In related news, the mayor and city council tried in vain to call a special session making it a felony offense for a certain author of the Dartnel to perform musical arrangements of any kind. (Stripping out all the legalese, they want to lock me away if I sing.) See, I’m trying to keep busy! (Besides, what the city doesn’t know can’t hurt it.) Can you imagine it? I come out on stage, act a bit (which I do quite well), sing a solo, and shower to get the putrid stench of tomatoes off me! I’d have plenty of time, too! The auditorium would be completely deserted afterward! Actually, I have a really nice singing voice. Unfortunately, it’s been on vacation for the last fifteen years! I’m on a roll today!

Speaking of “on a roll,” it’s time for the…

Word of the Week: pari passu – adv. meaning at an equal pace or rate (pronounced PAIR-ih-PASS-oo; literally means "with equal step," from Latin pari, ablative of par, "equal" + passu, ablative of passus, "step.")

The last part is for anybody who cares about etymology (if you want to know what it means, then look it up in a dictionary).

Savoir faire.

Darrell

August 9, 2005

Well, I’m a wee bit behind. As though anybody noticed. Let’s face it; not enough happens in my life to warrant weekly updates.

I have a job interview Friday. According to traditions, I cannot reveal any more information, other than to say that the job is in Oklahoma City. I’m still looking for other job opportunities. The job market in this area for accountants seems to be razor thin.  Ah, well. Something will eventually come along. I just have to be patient.

Today’s uplifting thought from the Dartman: Do something nice today. Say hello to a stranger. Call a friend you haven’t spoken to in quite some time. Give to charity. Buy yourself an expensive Rolex… Wait, I’m not sure that last one fits. Just get yourself a nice Rolex knock-off. (Please, no letters! This is supposed to be a joke!)

Time to delve into the past here at the Dartnel. It’s hard to believe, but ten years ago, I was getting ready to start my sophomore year at Poteau High School. That school year, our academic bowl team went to state, no thanks to me. Back then, I would never have been in a play or anything that required getting in front of a lot of people. (Of course, that didn’t stop me from doing a one-man reenactment of the trial in Harper Lee’s novel To Kill a Mockingbird, but I digress.) I was madly in love with a girl who, I’m completely sure, wished I would drop off the face of the planet (and I apologize for every morsel of mental pain and mental discomfort I caused you). Let’s face it, I was a pest. Looking back, even I want to slap that person around a little. I was not nearly as mature as I thought I was. (Actually, that’s a good definition of a teenager: someone who isn’t as mature as they think they are.) I’m proud to say I am no longer that person. I have found myself. I now have a degree of self-confidence that was lacking in those days. All it took was ten years of being bossed around by a fat cat who just wouldn’t shut up until he got what he wanted. Just kidding, Smokey. One of these days, I’ll be in great shape to tell tenth-graders exactly what not to do. For example, don’t put in a Word of the Week section on your Web page.

Speaking of which (and speaking of something), it’s this week’s…

Word of the Week: somniferous – adj. meaning causing or inducing sleep (pronounced som-NIF-uhr-uhs)

An example usage of this week’s Word of the Week: The somniferous musings of the Dartnel are a great cure for insomnia.

There’s something wrong with this week’s entry; see if you can find it!

Stan

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