The
Dartnel
August
31, 2006
Occasionally, I like to share some interesting
stories that I come across. I’ve done
it, I think, once in the 20-month history of the Dartnel. (Twice, if you think my “April Fools’” story
this year was real.) Well, I’ve come up
with a couple of doozies that I’d like to share with you. This first one is quite intriguing. It proves that… well, read it for yourself
and decide.
NEW YORK | Kyra Phillips, anchor of CNN’s “Live From…,”
unwittingly upstaged President Bush’s speech in New Orleans with on-the-air
analysis of her husband and the marriage of her brother — live from a CNN restroom.
Unaware that her wireless microphone was “live” during her
break, Phillips could be heard overriding Bush’s prepared address Tuesday. In
conversation with an unidentified woman, Phillips dismissed most men with a
vulgar term, but called herself “very lucky in that regard. My husband is
handsome and he is genuinely a loving — you know, no ego — you know what I’m
saying? Just a really passionate, compassionate, great, great human being.”
A few moments later, she observed that “brothers have to be,
you know, protective. Except for mine. I’ve got to be protective of him. … His
wife is just a control freak.”
At that point, another voice cut in: “Kyra.”
“Yeah, baby?” Phillips replied.
“Your mic is on. Turn it off. It’s been on the air.”
CNN anchor Daryn Kagan broke into the telecast with a recap
of what Bush had been saying. Phillips later apologized to viewers “for an
issue we had with our mics.”
We actually had issues with microphones in Hello, Dolly! last year. Same type of thing, someone would go to the
bathroom, not realizing that their microphone was on. In our case, and I’m sure in CNN’s case, too,
it was the job of the audio crew to turn the microphones off when people were
off-stage. In fact, we were specifically
instructed not to turn our mics off
ourselves. Of course, since I was
non-speaking, I didn’t have that problem.
Just lucky, I guess.
Now for further proof of the old Kilngon proverb, Revenge is a dish that is best served cold. (Not only did they steal our Shakespeare,
they also steal our Melville, too! At
least, I assume it was Melville who
came up with that one…)
By DOUG
August 29, 2006
Pete Bender learned the hard way not to mess
with Phil Mickelson.
Three years ago, when Bender was the caddie
for Rocco Mediate, he found slugs on the cart path during a practice round at
Kapalua and put some on the seat of Mickelson's cart as a joke. Little did he
know that Lefty would be so engaged in conservation that he would sit down
without seeing them.
Squish.
Mickelson promised he would get even, and he
delivered in a big way after the third round at Firestone.
Bender, now working for Aaron Baddeley, came
off the course Saturday and was promptly greeted by a police officer who told
him he was under arrest for at outstanding warrant. Bender's face turned white,
and before he knew what was happening, he was in the back seat of a squad car.
After the players signed their cards,
Mickelson and Baddeley went over to check on him. Now, Bender was in a position
of trying to explain why he had been arrested. He pleaded with the officer to
explain the charge.
Illegal transportation of snails on a golf
course.
Bender knew he had been had.
Mickelson got his revenge.
I’ve posted some interesting things on Dartnel Lite,
if anybody’s interested in my blog over there.
You’ll find my thoughts on Pluto being demoted from planet status there,
as well as why sometimes it’s a blessing to be unobservant.
Now, here’s my
favorite, the…
Word of the Week: sui
generis – adj. meaning being the only
example of its kind; constituting a class of its own; unique (pronounced soo-eye-JEN-ur-us
or soo-ee-JEN-ur-us)
Latin makes my knees ache.
Darrell
August
18, 2006
One quick word of caution. Darrell has not been feeling well
lately. He’s been referring to himself
in the third person, for one. Second, he
now claims that his name is Wendell Quizzler.
Third, he’s not actually writing this; the maintenance of the Dartnel
has, like everything else in
I am quite well, thank you very much. My back is back to pre-Annie strength. My knees are
also back to pre-Annie strength,
which isn’t saying much. Honestly, I
wonder if I underwent knee surgery when I was a toddler. There are what appear to be two scars on the
insides of my bony excuses for knees, although they’re probably veins or
arteries. Point is, my knees act as
though they’re 138 years old! There are
days they scream bloody murder at me for having the gall to walk around! Ah, well.
I should be thankful I have the ability to walk.
Today’s uplifting thought from the Dartman: Wait half an hour before swimming if you’ve
just eaten. Of course, if you’re going
swimming in the East River while wearing “cement overshoes”, it’d probably be
best to stay out of the water altogether!
(As if you’d have a choice, and I will be hearing from somebody about
this later.)
Superstition Principle: I went on another job interview
Wednesday. I don’t mind telling you, I’m
getting a bit antsy about this. It’s
been nearly three years since I graduated from NSU, which at this point might
as well mean No Success University.
(Well, I thought it was
clever, and I’ll be hearing from somebody about that later.) By the way, for
those of you worried about me, no, I did not
drive my non-air conditioned car to
For those of you who wonder about the differences
between the Dartnel and Dartnel Lite,
check out Dartnel Lite and see for yourself.
On that blog, I stay on one subject per entry, whereas on the Dartnel, I
usually change topics several times per
paragraph! Slight exaggeration, I
admit, but I do focus on multiple topics per Dartnel entry. In addition, on Dartnel Lite, you won’t get
my uplifting thoughts or the omnipresent…
Word of the Week: adumbrate - transitive
v. meaning 1. To give a sketchy or slight representation of; to outline; 2. To
foreshadow in a vague way; 3. To suggest, indicate, or disclose partially; 4.
To cast a shadow over; to shade; to obscure (pronounced AD-uhm-brayt or
uh-DUHM-brayt)
Yeah, a lot of definitions, but with the lack
of Dartnel updates, you should have plenty of time to learn all of them!
Adios!
Darrell
August
3, 2006
We set a record last month! There were only 2 entries in the Dartnel all of July!!! Of course, with Dartnel Lite
up now, most of my nonsensical ramblings are being posted there, so maybe we
can call it a push. Go ahead; click on
the above link. It’s daring you to!
We are finished
with Hello, Dolly! … err, I mean Annie.
(I KNEW it
was only a matter of time before he goofed on that one!) Okay… To answer the obvious question, no, I wasn’t
playing a drunk! That’s not the reason I fell on my back and
skidded across the stage, no matter what the director says! (Seriously, I am in soooooooooooooooo much trouble if she ever, ever, ever
stumbles across the Dartnel and reads the entries for the past couple of
months. Then again, I already am in trouble, so maybe it makes no
difference.) Back to the back skid. That was something I came up with to make my
character seem less static. That, and
acting as though I was completely disgusted by the thought of a woman coming on
to me. Did anybody see my face? You’d think I was about to vomit! (This will all be erased later.) Unfortunately, the back skid didn’t come
without its own set of problems. The
first two performances, it went fine.
People even thought I did a masterful job of covering, thinking my back
skid was by accident! The final
performance, though, I went down funny.
I bumped my bony excuse for a back.
After I got off stage, I got into a corner and for the next five minutes
winced in pain. Yeeouch!
On This Date: Here’s a good on. On August 3, 1492, Christopher Columbus set
off on his first, ill-fated trip to
For
those of you who have shown interest, please stop trying to access my public
records and credit report. I don’t mind your
curiosity about me, but please, ask me
about me. Don’t drag the FBI into
this! I went on a couple of job
interviews last week. Superstition
Principle; no other information available; you know the routine by now. I did learn something important. When the outside temperature is in the triple
digits, it is not a good idea to be driving about in a car with no air
conditioning and a driver’s side window that doesn’t roll down! By the time I got back to Poteau from
Random Quote: What a stupid I am! ~
Roberto de Vincenco, after signing for a score one shot higher that what he
actually shot in the 1968 Masters; Bob Goalby won the tournament by one stroke
over de Vincenco, who would have forced a playoff if he had bothered to check
his score to be sure it was correct
Now
for a regular feature here at the Dartnel…
Word of the Week: scuttlebutt
– n. meaning 1. A drinking fountain on a ship; 2. A cask on a ship
that contains the day's supply of drinking water; 3. Gossip; rumor (pronounced
SKUHT-l-buht)
Why do I even bother to call it the Word of the Week anymore?
Later.
Darrell