The
Dartnel
Folks, I just read something in
the paper that disturbed me. It was a statistic that really got me thinking.
It was a story about how a woman
poisoned her Marine husband to death to collect on his insurance. Sad
stuff. What got my attention is that this Marine, trained to defend his
country, was making a grand total of $1,700 a month. That works out to
$20,400 a year.
$20,400 a year! That must
be a great recruitment tool! Sure, you get all this money for
college, great benefits, etc. and so on. However, for putting your life
on the line for our country - especially for those poor souls in Iraq and Afghanistan,
knowing that you could very well be killed or horribly maimed (remember that
word, Katie? 
cost
me a spelling bee title...), you don't get much in the way of money.
Folks, these people should be,
in my humble opinion, able to retire or, at the least, take a few years off
once their military service is up. Instead, once their tour of duty is
over, they need to find a job pronto or they'll be facing bankruptcy.
$1,700 a month isn't enough to justify asking somebody to put their life on the
line every day. Heck, $1,700 a month nowadays is barely enough to live
on. Why don't we pay our service people more? Don't they deserve a
raise? Should we "reward" them with financial hardship once
they return? For or against the wars our country is fighting, these
people deserve more.
That's my two cents' worth.
Darrell
Only
644 Days Left!
Here's the headline I saw on Time
magazine:
Only
648 Days Until the Election
Actually, as of today, it's 644,
but I digress from my main point.
Have we already gone
bonkers? We just got out of one of the nastiest political seasons last
year, and here we are again, eager to jump-start the nastiness a year
early!!! Actually, it isn't the fact that everybody and their mother
are declaring their intentions to run for President already (incidentally, you
can contribute to the Dartman on Target in '08: Plummer for President fund here
[oops, link broken]
My problem is with all the
senators starting their Presidential campaigning now! I'm starting to
worry that this new, Democratic-led Congress will be even more
"do-nothing" than the previous edition. Sure, they'll come to
work more often, but I really don't see anything meaningful getting
through the Senate, with seemingly half of them running for President and not
wanting to have a paper trail of how they vote on real issues. I'm
probably exaggerating, but you see my point.
Folks, just once, I'd like to
see something done in Washington that doesn't smack of politics and/or partisanship.
Don't you just love Washington? Our elected leaders put on a big show of
pledging to work together, ignoring party differences and all that. I'm
not buying it. Republicans have their own agenda; Democrats have their
own agenda; and, I feel, the ordinary citizens have their own agenda that
neither party will ever listen to. Next year, there will be a political
civil war in this country, with each side calling the other liars, thieves,
idiots, flip-floppers, cowards, warmongers, etc. and so on. I wouldn't be
surprised if there's no hand shaking during the Presidential debates.
Sorry about that rant. As
you can plainly see, politics is my major pet peeve. I shouldn't be so
hard on politicians. As Will Rogers might have said, "99% of
politicians give the rest a bad name."
Darrell
More
Car Issues
Ah, the virtues of driving a
15-year-old car. You never know just what will bite you in the
bum next.
Now it's my door. No
kidding. The stupid driver's side door, the one I use every day, now
won't shut properly. I think I know what the problem is, but I wouldn't
have a clue as to how to fix it. There's a rubber tube where the top of
my door meets the chassis when it's shut. The part of the tube where the
corner of the door rests when closed is flat and has slight cracks. This
causes the corner of the door to squeal in a
"fingernails-on-the-chalkboard" sort of way. I had no warning;
it just started yesterday.
My suspicion is that the next
thing to fail on the car will be the trunk lid.
Darrell
Accents
and Pronunciations
I've been thinking a bit about
how where we're raised affects our language. Specifically, I'm thinking
about our accents and the way we say certain words.
For me, the toughest word for me
to say is "welcome". I can't even think the word
correctly! Now, before you scramble to delete me from your
"Friends" list, let me explain. For whatever reason, I insist
on placing an "a" in the word! Instead of "Welcome",
I say "Walcome"! Seriously. It gets worse. When I
think the word "welcome", I hear it in my head as
"walcome"!
The sad thing is, when I was
younger and had hair, (nice... a bald joke in
the middle of me trying to be serious) I never thought I had that requisite
Okie accent (Finally! The letter "Q" has made it into my
blog!). Folks, I used to record audiotapes; I, therefore, have records of
my voice from age 8 on up. That Okie accent has always been there.
Gotta go; my forehead doesn't powder
itself! (I'm going to get letters...)
Darrell
My
Real Resolutions
Okay, previously, I posted a
joke blog on my New Year's resolutions. Due to nobody complaining, I've
decided to inform you of my real goals for this year.
First off, I want a job. I
want to earn money on a consistent basis. Let's face it; my car needs
work, and a lot of it. Since the mechanics won't work for free,
I need some way to pay for said repairs (fix the A/C, fix the alignment/tie rod
problem, fix cruise control, fix Tom Cruise (wayyyyyyy too obvious and
cruel; hope it's funny, though), get that brake light to go off for a change,
get it to where it doesn't sound like a snoring dog, maybe even take a crack at
that "Service Engine Soon" light...). Actually, maybe I should
amend that to replacing my old, worn-out car. Okay, new job,
reliable vehicle, what else... Oh! I know! A social
life! I'm 27 now, and I've never even been on a date! Must
be all those italics. Again, of course, that has to do with money.
If I was truly ambitious, I'd aim for my own apartment, but I'll wait on that
until '08 for now. We may have to wait that long for a new MySpace
profile picture, too! 
(Hmmmm.... that doesn't look like a smiley face sticking its
tongue out at me...)
I hope all of you find success
and happiness in this new year.
Darrell
New
Year, Same Old Nonsense
Well, since nobody reads this
anyway, I can just type whatever I want! Mwh-heh-heh! dfgi3tyhg
ghbj9t8u5lm jdkgj5 tgjfdg n g9k yj r0y fdg 4i5 lkdfgj9yug,.nm
jh9rtykfg';i!?!?
Okay, maybe I should use a little
coherent thought.
For anybody who's curious, I've
now broken resolutions 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10. (Well, actually, #5
isn't officially broken until 11:59:59 PM on December 31, but
I intend to break that one anyways.) I've already scratched off number 2
(like I'm giving any press conferences this year, and I am close to
changing my mind on my estimation of our President's intelligence, but I
digress). As for number 1... Well, that's up to my directors, now,
isn't it? 
(Anybody wondering about these resolutions should check the next entry below.)
Yep, I'm still as sane as I've
always been. ... Okay, what was all that just now?
Laughter? At my expense??? Ah, well, I set myself up for
that one. Oh, well.
Wanted to let everyone know I'm
doing a bit of bookwork this week. Nothing permanent, but it gets me a
little bit of money. Need job. Have to get car fixed. Want to
buy stuff. Have to figure out how to not write sentence fragments.
Should wash fruit before eating it. (Like I eat fruit...)
Have a nice day!
Darrell
DIM
Resolutions Better Off Not Kept
DIM Report 99999
New Year's Resolutions that Won't Be Kept
(If this is #99999, does that
mean this is the last DIM Report ever?)
1.
I resolve to not do my impression of a drunk
onstage this year. (Unfortunately, I'm typecast, even though I've never
had a drink in my life!)
2.
I resolve to look more comfortable at press
conferences and not come off as the Dummy-in-Chief.
(I happen to think President Bush is actually quite intelligent.)
3.
I resolve not to plug my ears when a certain
balding-headed, glasses-wearing, rail-thin person sings a song. (If you
call that singing...)
4. I
resolve to use less italics on my blog.
5.
I resolve to be a mean, drunk
chain-smoker. (That's a resolution that
all of us should make every effort to break!)
6.
I resolve not to quote from my old Dartnel on my
MySpace blog. (Oops! I used #5 in 12/05!)
7.
I resolve to only say nice things about myself.
(Oh, great! There goes my shtick!)
8.
I resolve to be more normal. (The horror,
the horror...)
9.
I resolve to not post any DIM Reports in
2007. (Oops! That's six straight I've already broken!)
10.
I resolve to complete...
Why do most of these resolutions
pertain to me???
Darrell