The Dartnel
Click on the cake to wish me a happy birthday!
June 29, 2005
We the people
of the Dartnel would like to take the time to brag on one of our own. Our own Darrell Plummer, Jr. has been
officially typecast. The only roles he
can get in the theater are those of town drunks or creepy old men. (This is not a joke, people! Those are the only roles he can get!) The sad thing is, he doesn’t even need
make-up to play the old men! He already
looks like a prune… oops, here comes Darrell!
I’m gone! ~ Stan
Hey… that’s strange… there’s a big block of white between the date and my typing. Oh, well… By the way, you’re too late for birthday cake!
The first thing I’d like to do is to get rid of that stupid Superstition Principle. A couple of months ago, I interviewed with Beverly Enterprises for an accounting job. (As an aside, if you know of any openings in the accounting sector, please let me know!) They said they’d make a decision in a couple of weeks, so I’m left with the assumption that I didn’t get it. Everybody there was extremely nice, though, and I suppose it’s possible that they’re still deliberating. Having said that, I don’t have the luxury of waiting around for a job that likely won’t materialize.
Today’s uplifting thought from the Dartman: Tomorrow is your friend. I guess that makes today my arch nemesis. The problem is, tomorrow never comes, and today’s forever. Why can’t the saying be, Today is your friend? Wouldn’t that make more sense? (Can anyone tell I have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about?)
I just figured out why that white area’s there. Very funny, Stan! Stay off my computer! Unfortunately, folks, he’s right, except when he implies that he works on this site. Our local theater group is putting on a review of plays they’ve done in the last 30 years. I’ll give more detailed information on my roles once I get to know them. I feel I’m an instinctful actor, as well as a person who just makes up words whenever he wants. Instinctful??? (I believe the word I was searching for is “instinctual”.) I try to pull the essence of the character through context clues. (Hey, I did learn something in high school English! Mrs. Tustin would be so proud.) What I don’t learn, I try to extrapolate through my feelings of what the character would do. (I’m not sure that made any sense to me.) The final kicker, folks, is that they also want me to sing! Just in case our music director is reading this, are you crazy? Actually, I make a pretty decent bass singer, and with my falsetto voice, I can sing a fair tenor. (No, Stan, falsetto isn’t the Word of the Week, so I’m not defining it! And stay away from my Dartnel!)
Speaking of things that want to make you shout “Are you crazy?”, it’s the…
Word of the
Week: lineament – n.
meaning 1. One of the outlines,
exterior features, or distinctive marks of a body or figure, particularly of
the face; 2. A distinguishing or characteristic feature; -- usually in the
plural (pronounced LIN-ee-uh-muhnt)
We now return you to your regular programming.
Darrell
June 22, 2005
Boy, is my life dull! I’m actually making a journal entry on an
occasion when nothing important happened in the last nine days of my life! (That’s another sign that I’m getting older;
I use more words and bigger words to essentially say “Nothing’s
happening.” I used 21 words when 2 would
do!)
That stupid Superstition
Principle remains in effect … until next
week. After that, news or no news, I
fully explain. In the meantime, I’m
auditioning for a new play here.
(Another sign I’m getting older; something did happen in my life, but I still used 21 words to say “Nothing’s
happening!” J) In the meantime, I’ve decided to do something
I’ve always wanted to do. Starting
Monday, I intend to run naked through the streets shouting “
Today’s uplifting thought
from the Dartman: Take care when
operating heavy machinery. You’d be
surprised at the damage you can do. Stan
cut off the skin on his knuckles when he tried to use his electric can opener. (Hey, for him,
that’s heavy machinery!)
As most of our regular
visitors know, I’m a little light in the loafers. (Somebody please
explain that one to me!) As further
proof of my insanity, I offer this quaint story. Once upon a time, I was in school. (Shut up, Stan!) I decided then to write something that was
completely off the wall, something that would prove just how completely wacko I was! In short, I wrote a romance story. (Now
I know where I’m going with this! Just
write, and you’ll eventually have something worth writing! This will all be edited out by my copy
editor.) I never bothered finishing it,
although it was probably one of the best things I ever wrote. Let’s face it, romance and I are complete
strangers. That’s a point I’d like to
make to all aspiring writers. Write what
you know, and if you don’t know it, just make it up and pretend that you know
what you’re doing. Of course, that last
part doesn’t work well in a business setting.
Can you imagine? “Sir, we have
$50 billion in doohickeys at our invisibilities plant in
Speaking of tangents, it’s
the…
Word of the Week: ineluctable – adj. meaning impossible to avoid or evade; inevitable (pronounced
in-ih-LUCK-tuh-buhl)
Example: The Word of the Week is, unfortunately, ineluctable. (Interpret this anyway you like.)
Speaking of ineluctable,
ending this Dartnel entry is ineluctable, so I’ll say bye-bye for now. You all be sure to come back soon, you hear?
Darrell
June 13, 2005
Happy Birthday to me!
I have to face it now; I’m getting older. I guess I’ll have to stop telling everyone that I start fifth grade in the fall!
As
I write this, I think of all the luminaries that I share a birthday with. Tim Allen, for example. More power! <grunt> The Olsen twins, to my utmost chagrin. Speaking of girls… ahem, I mean women… Imagine marring someone who has the same
birthday as you. What excuse
would you then have for forgetting your spouse’s birthday? Honey, I always try to forget
my birthday!
Today’s
uplifting thought from the Dartman:
Birthdays are the signposts of life.
Wait…. That’s why husbands never remember their wives’
birthdays! They never see
signposts! (Now, that’s funny!)
How
am I doing, you ask? You didn’t? Well, I’m telling you anyway! The Superstition Principle remains in
effect. In the meantime, I continue
looking. By the way, that addition to my
website that I made? That wasn’t
the addition I was planning! I apologize
if anybody thought it was insensitive.
Let’s just say that there was a reason I used my face as the
bullets. (No, Stan, you can’t be on the
show!) At the moment, my website is
listed through Yahoo!. Of course, it was
listed once before. I don’t know what
happened, but long story short, I had to re-list my site. Anyway, those of you who would like to tell
their friends (and mine) how I’m doing can now tell them to run the name
“Darrell Plummer Jr” through the Yahoo! search engine.
Quote
of the week: I’m not suffering from
insanity; I’m enjoying every minute of it!
~ from a bumper sticker
I’ve
always felt that a little bit of insanity is healthy. Of course, the level I practice it at is
probably cause for concern!
Speaking
of causes for concern, it’s the…
Word of the Week:
blandishment – n. meaning speech and action that flatters
and tends to coax, entice, or persuade; allurement – often used in the plural
(pronounced BLAN-dish-muhnt)
Thanks for the presents! Gee, Stan, a box of paper clips… just what I always wanted…
Darrell
June 4, 2005
For
those of you wondering, the Superstition Principle remains in effect (see May’s Dartnel). I will tell you that I have followed up. That’s all, and I hope I didn’t hex myself.
Back
to business. T-9 days until I turn
26. I can’t believe it! It won’t be much longer now before my hair
falls out and turns gray. I might grow a
beard if it wasn’t for the fact that facial hair makes me itch. As long as I don’t start packing on extra
mass, I’ll be just fine. (As an aside,
have you seen me lately? I could use a little
bit of extra weight! Of all the problems
to have, this one’s the nicest. J)
Today’s
uplifting thought from the Dartman: If
you don’t see yourself in the mirror, don’t go out during the daytime. (Do I have to explain this one? I’m running out of sayings to misrepresent
here…)
I’ve
decided on the next addition to this website.
It should be up next week. (If
you believe that, I’ve got a bridge to sell you.) In the meantime, enjoy this little
sojourn. My old audio production
“company,” Shows Productions, L.L.C. (formally something that’s already
registered), celebrated its 18th anniversary this past Wednesday,
June 1st. Considering I
haven’t recorded anything in over three years, it means very little. The Shows tapes, I feel, are a good chronicle
of friends, good memories, awkward moments, and basically my growing up in the
late ‘80s and early-to-mid ‘90s. I still
have most of my favorite clips/moments (for blackmail purposes, some people
would say inaccurately). You know, I was
really funny! I think one of my favorite
lines that I said was in response to the line “I’m not gonna vouch for you; you
vouch for yourself.” In response, I
said, “Why should I vouch for myself?”
You can’t write stuff like that!
Everything on those tapes (at least, until later shows) was completely
off-the-wall, spontaneous, and definitely unrehearsed! Listening to those tapes takes me back to
when I actually saw my friends on a near-daily basis. Nowadays, the friend I see most often lives
in Japan. To paraphrase the Statler
Brothers, “Things get complicated when you get past eighteen, [b]ut the Class
of [‘98] had its dreams.”
Well,
for something that won’t leave you with a warm nostalgic feeling, it’s the…
Word of the Week: agglomeration - n. meaning 1. The act or process of collecting in a mass; a heaping
together; 2. A jumbled cluster or mass of usually varied elements (pronounced
uh-glom-uh-RAY-shuhn)
Time
to make the doughnuts.
Darrell