The Dartnel
If
You Haven't Seen Me Dance...
...it's
great entertainment!
Actually, it's best watching me learn how to dance, choreographically
speaking. (By the way, if you're planning to come to the show we're doing in
mid-July, I'll have more info posted soon, and please, pleeeeeeze don't
bring tomatoes! I got enough of that in C&tCF.)
Wednesday night, we learned choreography for a medley of songs from "Mamma
Mia!". Folks, it's high comedy watching me learn how to dance! Here's how
it went for me: I go in thinking, Aw, shucks, this won't be too hard!
Mid-point, I'm thinking, Cut me out of this, Alisha! I can't even stay on my
feet! I have no timing, and I feel like a goof! (Of course, I always
feel like a goof, but that's beside the point.)
So, I'm now convinced that I can't do it, but you know what? I could. I just
put way too much pressure on myself. I'm a perfectionist, and I expect to have
everything down pat in one or two tries. When it takes me five or six, I get
frustrated. You know what? At the end of practice, I was doing the routine at
least as well as most everyone else there.
The moral, although I wasn't going for one: Don't expect too much out of yourself
at first; just learn the routine, and then try to get it right.
Darrell
Roundtable:
The $54,000,000 Question
Despite
repeated requests to stop, I have elected to revive (at least for today) the
ol' Roundtable with the Dartman. As usual, all views are mine, and they
focus on current events. Any and all complaints should be sent to my
attorneys, Dewey, Cheatum, Howe, & Often.
1. Ah, yes, the $54 million question. An
administrative law judge in Washington, D.C. recently sued a D.C.-area dry
cleaners for losing his pants. Naturally, the judge sued. Because
the dry cleaners lost his pants, he felt he was entitled to damages in the
amount of 67 million dollars!!! Well, never let it be said that
this judge is heartless. Out of the kindness of his heart, he reduced the
amount of damages he was suing for to the paltry sum of $54 million.
Thankfully, common sense won the day, and the dry cleaners will not have to pay
out. I mean, $54 million for a pair of pants??? What were
these pants made of, cotton, polyester, or a gold-diamond hybrid fabric?
Good grief!
2. What's in the water in D.C., anyway?
Evidently, a certain Vice President of the United States feels that he isn't
part of the executive branch of government. He feels that, since he also
serves as president of the Senate (where his only meaningful duty is casting
the deciding vote in event of a tie), he is actually part of the legislative
branch. The lengths this guy goes to hide his secrets! As many
of you know, I am a Republican in everything but name; I'm registered as a
Democrat because that's the only way you really have a say in LeFlore County
politics. Let me just say that I am ashamed of, embarrassed by, and angry
with our Vice President for his refusal to "submit to an executive order
requiring a government review of his handling of classified documents"
(quoted from a Newsweek article written by Michael Isikoff). Even more
good grief!
3. Okay, this doesn't really fit in
with current events, but I still find it interesting. As I write this,
the last two digits in my Blog Views - Total statistics are 47. (Refer to
my previous blog entry on "The Number 47" for clarification.)
Darrell
Birthdays
Future
(part
3 of 3)
Well,
I guess I'm officially 28. Good night! It seems like only yesterday
I was getting ready for my senior year in high school... and everybody there
was looking forward to never seeing me ever again! (If this turns out to
be true, I'm going to be soooo unhappy.)
First
off, here's a list of so-called famous people who were also born on June 13
(thereby supporting my theory that people born on June 13 turn out to be
completely nuts):
Tim Allen (more
power!), Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen (that annoys me a bit, I admit),
Malcolm McDowell (figures I'd share a birthday with the guy who killed
Captain Kirk), Richard Thomas (John-Boy), Christo (but, oddly
enough, not Crisco)
What
will I be doing on future birthdays (I ask in a gallant, though unsuccessful,
attempt to stay on-subject)? Will I be thinking about what the kiddos
might get for me? Will the wife be making plans for a romantic
dinner? Will I still have HAIR? (Oh, please,
you knew it was coming.) I have no idea. The future is not set in
stone, and I prefer it that way. If I knew what was going to happen every
tomorrow from now on, my life would be extremely boring. Heck, I don't
even know who will win the U.S. Open Sunday!
By
the way, if anybody's interested, I'm on stage again in mid-July. More
details forthcoming.
Darrell
Birthdays
Present
(part
2 of 3)
On a completely unrelated tangent, I noticed something interesting in my blog
statistics. At the end of Saturday, June 9th, there have been exactly
1,200 views of the Dartnel (Not-So-)Lite! Sorry, I'm a sucker for round
numbers.
T-3 days until I turn 28. I know what you're thinking: I look
terrible for my age! (Actually, that's only what my directors who
graduated from high school with me think; sad thing is, I count as one
of my directors! Blasted audio tape productions...) Hey, I'm still
alive. I can still see. I can still hear. That makes me
overqualified to be a referee in the NFL! (snicker)
I just dug out my "Senior Year Memories" book. In the back,
page 58, is a page called "Dreams and Goals." Basically, you're
supposed to predict where you'd be ten years from now. I know it's only
been nine, but I think a look is in order, especially considering that I'm
wasting precious MySpace bandwidth! (guffaw)
EDUCATION
Predicted:
Masters in Accounting
Actual: Bachelors in Accounting; close but no banana
CAREER
Predicted:
Accountant
Actual: Gee, a lot of good that college degree has done me so far...
FAMILY
I'm
an accountant, not a magician! (Hasn't changed one bit.)
HOME
Probably
in Poteau (No change, and it makes me sick.)
CAR
Predicted:
Will I even be able to drive a car?
Actual: '92 Ford Tempo, and was I ever a goofball!
OTHER IMPORTANT
GOALS
-
Not to be in a mental institution - good so far
- Not to weigh a ton - Hey, if I lose any mmore weight, I'll slip down the
shower drain!
- Not to be dateless - Whoops! I ddo have one year left, don't I?
- Not to be buried (especially alive) - Andd yet, I've never been drunk.
- To have my driver's license (might take 225 years) - Well, I beat the
over-under on that; only took me another couple of years.
- To break 100 in golf (settle for 150) - ddone that... for nine holes, at least
Man, looking at that, I can only conclude that I was nuts! Thank goodness
that's passed. (hysterical laughter at my expense)
That's all from the Update Desk. Now, we return you to your regularly
scheduled programming.
Darrell
Birthdays
Past
In honor of my (hmmm, carry the one...) 28th
birthday next Wednesday (incidentally, did you know I was actually born
on a Wednesday? As I put it, had I been born a year later, I would have
been born on Friday the 13th.), I decided to dig through my old website and
pull out some nuggets regarding birthdays.
And
now, here are some signs that you're getting older:
Darrell