The Dartnel
March
27, 2007 
The
Anti-Caffeine
No, I'm not offering a cure for
those occasions when you've had a few too many cups of coffee. Sorry!
I have come to the conclusion,
drawing upon years and years of empirical research, that I am not immune to
caffeine. I have also been forced to draw the conclusion that caffeine is
an extremely effective sedative.
Somewhere, a bunch of coffee
drinkers just did a spit take when they read that last paragraph. I'm
telling you; I think caffeine has the opposite effect it should have on
me! I drink two cups of coffee, the next thing I'm going to want to do is
to go to sleep! (Then again, I put three or four servings of creamer in
it to take away that awful coffee taste, but I digress.) At the most, all
caffeine can do to me is to make me somewhat jumpy.
For me, I've found that the best
way to keep from falling asleep during the day is to keep busy. Having
said that, and even with caffeine's apparent non-effect on me, I wouldn't trade
caffeine for ... Hmmm, I'm drawing a blank here!
If you're drinking decaffeinated
coffee, you might as well be drinking hot water, for all the good it will do
you. ~ old Dartland saying
Okay, I made that saying up!
Darrell
Random
Ramblings
Welcome back to Dartman
Rambles On About Absolutely Nothing!!! I'm Darrell, and here are
our topics.
1.
When I'm tired, I go into energy-saving mode.
What I mean by that is this: Well, let's use some imagination here.
Pretend I'm a computer. If left alone for, say, an hour, I'll go into
Standby mode. My hard drives will shut down, my monitor will be blank,
and I'll have just enough energy to come back on again when needed. On my
old Windows 98-equipped computer, occasionally it would fail to come out of
Standby. Sometimes, that's me. Regardless, if I'm tired enough, it
will take me five to ten minutes to get back up to full speed. This
ramble brought to you by Stan's House of Wigs.
2.
It's Spring Break around here, which means that all
the kids get a week off from school. Remember Spring Break? Yeah,
neither do I. If memory serves (and if I came out of Standby Mode
correctly), I was one of those kids who would just as soon as stayed in school
that week. Then again, maybe I wasn't. Even I don't know
where I'm going with this! This ramble brought to you by Dewey, Cheatum,
Howe, and Often, Attorneys in Jail. (I'm going to get letters...)
3.
It's always the simple things that stump me.
In elementary school, I kept trying to say that 8 times 4 equaled 24, not
32! Terrible mistake for a math whiz to make. Basic arithmetic has
always given me issues, despite me breezing through AP Calculus! The
other night, I was getting out of my car, and I couldn't figure out why my car
was beeping. Turns out, I had left the headlights on! (Actually, in
my defense, my car's ignition is touchy; if I don't have the thingy you put the
key into in exactly the right spot, the car will beep.) A couple of years
ago, I went through a spell where, within a couple of months, I locked my keys
in the car four or five times! Outside of that, I've done that only
once. I took my pants to town to get them altered; halfway there, I
realized that I had left the pants at home! Egad! One of these
days, I'll be driving to town, wondering why everything's so blurry, and then
I'll realize, I left my glasses at home! This ramble brought to
you by PFPFDS (People for Protection from Darrell's Singing, and I don't
know why I let them sponsor a ramble!)
Adios!
Darrell
Things
Just Ain't the Way They Used to Be
Yesterday, I traveled to
Shawnee, Oklahoma for a job interview. (Yes, I know it's spelled
"traveled," but I don't care! "Ain't" isn't a word either,
and I used it in the title, so there!) That's all the
information I will disclose at present, unless you're my
director and you're concerned that I may bolt before the show goes on.
(She's actually letting me sing and dance this time! (Why am I so mean to
myself?)) Anyway, since I was there, I decided to walk around the campus
of Oklahoma Baptist University. I hadn't been back there since 1999; in
fact, I suspect that my old computer desk is probably stored in the attic of
the men's dormitory. Getting off subject, why is the men's dorm at
OBU about a half-mile from the business center? Okay, it's only about a
quarter-mile, but still...
Back on subject. When I
was at OBU, I was extremely miserable. My fault. It almost sounds
like this is a continuation of the last blog, doesn't it? At OBU, I
tended to isolate myself. I stayed in my dorm room way too much and
didn't make any kind of effort to make new friends. In fact, I honestly
believe, looking back now, that I was trying to force myself into a closer
relationship with God. That doesn't work. In fact, it backfired on
me spectacularly. I have never been so far away from God as I was at a
Baptist university. Looking back, I never should have gone there, at
least not at first.
Back on subject. While I
was there yesterday, I walked about the campus. I didn't dare go into the
dorms; too many bad memories there. I did try to see the window of my old
dorm room. I did see it, in fact; I'm just not sure which
window was which. Incidentally, I still remember my old campus phone
number. Hard to forget it when it was 2468. A lot of things have
changed. In the Student Union (that's not what it's called, by the way),
for example, they've expanded the little shop that's in there, at the cost of
the game room, which is no longer there. The entrance to the bookstore
has been moved. The library looked more or less the same as I
remember. The chapel is still the dominating landmark on campus.
I also stopped by the alumni
center and looked at the 2000 yearbook. My picture was in it. I
really didn't recognize the guy. I saw someone who was extremely stressed
out and tired of everything. Of course, this guy also had hair.
(Enough with the bald jokes!) It's hard to believe how far I've come in
seven and a half years. It's also hard to believe it's been
seven and a half years, but that's another story.
Au revoir.
Darrell
Self
Confidence
Well, the play's wrapped, and I
have new pictures of me in a new funny hat to prove it!
I've been thinking a bit
recently about who I am now and who I was ten years ago. It amazes me,
the changes that have happened to me. At 17, I was painfully shy. I
don't think I would ever have tried out for a play back then. I
was extremely moody, to the point of being unstable. I was extremely
self-conscious and had low self-esteem. I just wasn't comfortable with
myself. The less said about my infatuation, the better. Actually,
why not? It's my blog, after all! What a hypocrite I was! I
had the biggest crush on a girl in our class but felt that she didn't take my
feelings seriously at all. I promised that I would never make that mistake.
At the same time, another girl had a crush on me, and I thought she was
joking! Oh, well, it wasn't all bad. I had hair back then!
Now, I look at myself and am
more than comfortable with who I am. (Or is it what?) I
finally have self-confidence. I actually like who I am. (And I look
good in a hat, but that's beside the point.) I'm doing things I never
thought I would ever be doing. For example, a couple of years ago, I was
in a musical, Hello, Dolly! I never thought I'd
ever try out for a musical! I'm my own worst critic of my singing
abilities! One of the reasons I tried out is because I knew nobody who
knew me would believe it for a second. It turned out to be the most fun
I've ever had. Now, if I can only find a job...
Word of the Week (Yes, I’ve
slipped it into Dartnel Lite!): indefatigable
- adj. meaning incapable
of being fatigued; not readily exhausted; untiring; unwearying; not yielding to
fatigue (pronounced in-dih-FAT-ih-guh-bul)
Thank
you for being a friend.
Darrell
Off to the
Chocolate Factory!
With showtime being tomorrow, I
thought I owed all of my faithful blog readers (all three of them!) a bit of an
update.
First of all, it has been
brought to my attention by nobody that I've neglected a certain
something... For those of you who used to visit the old Dartnel (fat
chance!), you'll recognize the beginning of this next sentence. We
continue to rehearse for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I
urge you all to attend. Thursday and Friday at 7PM, Sunday at 2PM, CASC
Auditorium, Hamilton Complex, any more information I need to dispense? Oh,
yes; I'm wearing a new funny hat! This one has an added attraction: it
causes a small, dime-shaped rash on my forehead that fortunately dissipates in
an hour or so. Of course, it wouldn't cause the rash if I had hair...
It's not a bald spot. In my view, "bald spot" means there's
hair surrounding the hairless area. My hairless area of the head is more
of an extended forehead. But I digress.
We've got our lines down
pat. Well, maybe not down pat. More like pretty much. Well,
maybe better than that... Great, I'm channeling Mr. Kimball from Green
Acres again! No, we know what we're doing. The sets look
fantastic! We're putting on makeup for the first time tonight, our final
dress rehearsal, and that will only add to the effect. Come on down; it'll
be a lot of fun!
By the way, whoever has that
pool going as to when I'll first blow my lines and how many times I mess up,
knock it off. Having said that, don't be surprised if the winner of you
pool has the initials "DGP"!
Word of the Week: exanimate - adj. meaning
1. inanimate or lifeless; 2. spiritless; disheartened (pronounced eg-zan-uh-mit)
Darrell
Controlled
Burning and Churches
Time for another rant. No
wonder I'm going bald!
Every Sunday, I go to
church. My church is in the Rock Island area. This morning, as I
drove past the north bypass intersection, I saw that someone was burning a
brush pile. I wouldn't have given it a second thought except for the
churches close by. Driving north on Highway 112, Immanuel Baptist Church
is off the left side of the road, and Poteau Church of Christ is off the right
side. The smoke from the brush fire was being blown by the wind... right
toward the churches.
First of all, I realize that
this may have been the only time whoever was burning that brush pile had to do
it. Still, I can't help but feel sorry for the 200-300 people who went to
church there and had to breathe that smoke from their car to the interior of
the church. I have many friends who go to Immanuel, although none of them
will admit that they even know me. (More letters...) I hope nobody
had any problems with the smoke, and I pray that whoever started that brush
fire will consider the churchgoers the next time they burn and put off their
burning until afternoon if possible.
Again, I can't blame the person
who started the brush fire. It may have been the only time they had
available. I just thought it odd that someone would burn brush so close
to two churches.
Darrell