The Dartnel

 

May 26, 2006

 

Obviously, the “two entries this week” thing last week failed to pan out.  Sorry, folks.  I was sick.  Unfortunately for you, that means two Words of the Week.  We’ll start off with…

 

Last Week’s Word of the Week:  moribundadj. meaning 1. In a dying state; dying; at the point of death; 2. Becoming obsolete or inactive (pronounced MOR-uh-bund)

 

First off, I’d like to thank you for your unwavering devotion to the Dartnel.  Over the past year and a half, we’ve had a lot of fun, with a handful of serious moments sprinkled in for good taste.  Now, let me speak in all seriousness.  Every last one of you who has visited my website in the past 17 months is at risk of being associated with a complete loon.  I have terrible memory problems.  I take my glasses off so I can blow my nose, and then I forget where I left my glasses!  I filled in as Sunday School teacher a couple of weeks ago and had to turn around and go back home because I forgot my teaching materials!  There are times I still think it’s 2005!  My immediate memory is a disaster.  Of course, if something makes it past that roadblock, I tend to remember it forever.  Just one of life’s little blessings, I guess.

 

Today’s uplifting thought from the Dartman:  I’ve got the music scales down!  Every Good Boy Does Fine.  FACE.  Lines and spaces, in that order.  Of course, I don’t actually know what the notes are supposed to sound like, and I’m singing off the lower scale, so I’m probably still in trouble.

 

This week, I’ve been involved in my church’s Vacation Bible School.  I was going to write about this last week, but I was sick…  Anyways, I was with the older children, fifth- and sixth-graders.  Unfortunately, contrary to my logic and beliefs, those children were probably the most rambunctious group there was at VBS!  Isn’t that life?  It was still an enjoyable experience.  Kind of makes me glad I didn’t become a teacher!  Accounting’s looking really good right now!!!  I apologize to all my teacher friends out there.  I continue to fill in as Sunday School teacher for first- through third-graders when the need arises.  After this past week, I will never complain about them being a handful!

 

I am still looking for work.  Since I only have access to a car during late afternoon, it kind of makes job searching an even bigger hassle.  I know I have to find something soon.  I turn 27 next month, and I’ve been out of NSU for three and a half years now.  Besides, I have to repair/replace my car, which is now a 3,000-pound doghouse.  That’s about the sum of things going on with me.

 

Now, for this week’s…

 

Word of the Week:  variegatedadj. meaning 1. Having marks or patches of different colors; as, "variegated leaves or flowers"; 2. Varied; distinguished or characterized by variety; diversified (pronounced VAIR-ee-uh-gay-tid)

 

We’re finished here, for now!

 

Darrell

 

May 16, 2006

 

In what will probably be the first of two entries this week, I will discuss something that happened last Sunday.

 

Last Sunday, May 14, I had the pleasure and the privilege of attending the Rheem Classic golf tournament at Hardscrabble Country Club in Ft. Smith.  The Rheem Classic is a Nationwide Tour event.  For those of you who are unfamiliar with the wonderful world of golf, the Nationwide Tour is essentially a developmental tour for the PGA Tour.  In other words, people who someday hope to compete with the likes of Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson were playing in a golf tournament in Ft. Smith this past weekend.  The winner, Darron Stiles, received a check for $90,000.  That sounds like a lot of money, and it is; however, the winner’s check is roughly 10% of the standard PGA Tour winner’s check.

 

The final round itself was exciting, with lead changes, birdies, bogies, groans, moans, cheering, and celebrating galore.  (From here on out I’m assuming you have a passing familiarity with golf.  If you don’t, feel free to check out the mindless drivel posted above and below.)  The tournament went to a play-off between Stiles and Michael Putman.  Putman could have won had he been able to get up and down from a bunker in back of the 18th green, behind which I was sitting in a corporate skybox.  I had a great look.  About three feet or so behind his ball, there was a leaf that had fallen from a tree.  I don’t think it had much bearing on the shot, but you never know.  It didn’t seem like too difficult a shot to me, except for the fact that the tournament was on the line.  Putman blasted out to about 30 feet beyond the hole.  I assume that his nerves got the better of him.  Stiles won with a par on the first extra hole, from the same bunker that Putman had had trouble with earlier.  Putman had placed his ball in a different bunker this time, left of where I was sitting.  (READ: right greenside bunker)  He had eight feet to force a second playoff hole, but he missed.  I felt rotten for him.

 

If you’ve never been to Hardscrabble, don’t try to walk the course if you’re not in good shape.  Who in their right mind builds a golf course on the hilliest part of Ft. Smith anyway?  The tenth hole is uphill quite a bit, for example.  Typically, it’s the hardest hole on the course.  Number sixteen is no picnic, either.  I watched one pro hit from behind a tree there.  He hit over the tree, looked down, slammed his club into the ground, and called the shot “crap” or some other negative explanation.  Nothing dirty, mind you.  Nothing you’d censor on TV.  At least he didn’t put it into the lake guarding the right and the back of the green.  That same lake guards the seventeenth, a long par three.  For me, it would be a short par 5.

 

I had an enjoyable time at Hardscrabble.  The weather was mild, and the golf was spectacular.  If any of you golf fans ever have an opportunity to see a golf tournament in person, take it.  One word of advice:  Do NOT bring your cell phone.  First of all, you’re not supposed to bring it onto the course to begin with.  Tour rules.  Second, it’s aggravating to the pros to hear one of those ring tones go off during their backswing.  It has to be, because it’s aggravating to me as a spectator to be watching the tournament and be distracted by a cell phone ringer.  I wouldn’t bring a camera either.  Tour pros tend to flinch when they hear a camera going off during their backswing.  If you have to take pictures, and if the course will even allow cameras on the course, don’t take a snapshot while one of the professionals is hitting the ball.

 

Thank you for your patronage.

 

Darrell

 

May 10, 2006

Brief Entry

 

Dear Dartnel,

 

I just wanted to drop you a line as to how I'm doing.  I am doing just swell.  I could do without your insipid "Word of the Week" e-mail, but other than that, I'm fine.

 

You wouldn't believe some of what's been going on in my life!  I had the strangest dream last night.  I had amnesia and was dating a woman from my past.  This woman, although she held my hand, didn't seem all that thrilled to be dating me.  I was driving my old red car, which had apparently been repaired during my amnesic period.  Although I was older, evidently my younger brother had regressed in age.  He was now 11 or so, I would guess.  He also disappeared mysteriously, kind of like Richie's older brother in Happy Days.  I've thought about it, and I've decided that this woman is either a subconscious manifestation of my own feelings towards myself or an amalgam of every woman I've ever met.  Let's face it; I just don't have that much experience with romance.

 

I did some singing a week ago Sunday night.  Once again, some smartaleck turned the light off on me.  Next time, I'm launching into "Turn Out the Lights!"  Actually, I have a better plan.  I'm singing "I Saw the Light" next time!  I've become a running gag at my own church!  Ah, well, at least this way, they don't notice my sub par singing.  Did you know that I no longer know which notes go on which lines/spaces of the music scale?  Something tells me I'd be a decent low tenor if I could actually read music.

 

Dartnel, I've come up with a Word of the Week.  Tell me what you think.

 

Word of the Week:  amalgam - n. meaning 1. An alloy of mercury with another metal or metals; used especially (with silver) as a dental filling; 2. A mixture or compound of different things (pronounced uh-MAL-guhm)

 

Well, this was tedious.  I hope you enjoyed reading about all my thoughts.  Please do not publish these on your website.

 

Sincerely yours,

 

Darrell

 

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