The Dartnel

November 29, 2005

Believe it or not, the Dartnel is rapidly approaching its one year anniversary! The amazing thing is, in one year I still haven’t run out of things to ramble on about!

I went on that interview I mentioned last time. As usual, I’m not revealing any information about it! Hey, I have to have at least one superstition, don’t I? Do you realize that it’s been nearly two years since I graduated from NSU? (Northeastern State University, home of the 2003 NCAA Division II National Basketball Champions! See, I do bring good luck!) Is the job market really that tough, or am I just making it tough? Honestly, and I may have mentioned this before, but it seems like all the entry-level accounting positions require at least two years’ worth of related experience! How can anybody just out of college with an accounting degree get work when the beginning jobs require work experience? I’m calling it the job seeker’s paradox: You have to have related experience and a college education to get a job, but going to college full time usually means that you don’t have the time to get related experience, and even if you had the time, you wouldn’t get the job without a college degree, but you need the college degree to get the job, but the job also requires related experience, and you can’t get related experience because you’re going to college full time, but the degree without related experience eliminates you from the job, but related experience without the degree eliminates you from the job, but you can’t get one without the other… Yikes, that makes my head hurt just thinking about it! Of course, considering I commuted to and fro NSU, I wasn’t able to be as involved in extracurricular activities as I wanted to be. Kind of hard to stick around if it means driving 90 miles in the dark, especially if you had to get up at 4:15 to make an 8:00 class on time. My advice to you is this: If your commute’s longer than 30 minutes, you really should live on campus. I know, I know. One tangent after another.

Today’s uplifting thought from the Dartman: Live, love, learn. Then again, you can’t live and love without learning, but you can’t live and learn without love, but you can’t love and learn without living, but… Now I’m just seeing paradoxes everywhere.

I’ve got little else, so it’s time for the favorite of our crack editorial staff, On This Date.

On this day in 1877, Thomas Edison demonstrated the hand-cranked phonograph. Hand-cranked phonographs ran at 78 rpm......although as the person doing the cranking got tired, they ran a little slower - that's how the 33 rpm record came into being...... (Of course, that’s assuming you know what a phonograph record is… Maybe I’ll take a picture of one and post it on my site.)

Speaking of paradoxes, here’s the…

Word of the Week: paradox – n. meaning 1. a seemingly contradictory statement that may nonetheless be true; 2. one exhibiting inexplicable or contradictory aspects: “The silence of midnight, to speak truly, though apparently a paradox, rung in my ears” (Mary Shelley); 3. an assertion that is essentially self-contradictory, though based on a valid deduction from acceptable premises; 4. a statement contrary to received opinion (pronounced pr-dks)

My favorite example of a paradox is the statement “I always lie. In fact, I’m lying right now.” Of course, if the person always lies, then the statement is a lie and the person is telling the truth, except that it can’t be true because the person always lies, but if the person always lies, then the statement is a lie… (If you ever come across the Star Trek episode “I, Mudd”, this statement is used to get the Enterprise crew out of a sticky situation, causing an android to practically melt his circuits in the process.)

Speaking of paradoxes, I’m leaving here, even though I never was here.

Darrell

November 18, 2005

I wish I had something witty to say to kick things off, but I’ve got nothing.

Continuing with this entry, I must caution you that there’s much ado about nothing. (Where have I heard that before?) I have another job interview this coming Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving. Just to annoy Stan, I’m not revealing anything more than that. I actually learned the other day that I’m a bad interview. My mannerisms in interviews have been to subconsciously avoid eye contact, appear extremely nervous/fearful, look up at the ceiling when I’m answering questions (as if I’m looking into my mind for the answers), and avoid small talk. I also learned that the most qualified candidate for a job almost never gets the job. As many of you know, I’m an introvert. I tend to be quiet, almost to the point of being shy. As you will all agree, I’m much improved from high school. (That’s not a joke; I was a bit of a recluse.) I’ve learned now; personal skills are more important than knowledge (at least until I get a job).

Today’s uplifting thought from the Dartman: Stay in school. Reality isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. (Does anyone have a punch line I can borrow? I’ll bring it right back.)

Thanksgiving is next week. I hope yours is great. Eat all you want, especially pumpkin pie. Yum-yum! Just remember, your post-Thanksgiving, pre-Christmas diet starts next Friday! Also, please don’t let the dog get on the table with the turkey on it. Call me crazy, but I have a hunch something might go wrong with that. Remember to pace yourself while eating. Don’t fill up on salad and bread. Save room for the good stuff, like candy… wait, wrong holiday. I meant, save room for hot dogs… wait, that’s the Fourth of July. When eating your turkey, make sure it’s been cooked first. Those frozen turkeys can really crack your teeth. At dessert, don’t hesitate to knock your beloved family members to the floor if the last piece of (pumpkin) pie is at stake. Once they’re out of the hospital, they’ll forgive you. They also won’t show up for Thanksgiving next year, which means more pie for you! (Seriously, don’t do that. That would be wrong.)

Speaking of more pie, it’s time for the ultimate appetite suppressant, the…

Word of the Week: Hobson's choice - n.. meaning a choice without an alternative; the thing offered or nothing (pronounced HOB-sunz-chois)

If you’ll excuse me, I have to hide. The turkeys got wind of this Thanksgiving thing, and boy, are they mad!

Darrell

November 12, 2005

Is eggnog traditional for Thanksgiving?

We have a winner of the Hello, Dolly! “We continue to rehearse for Hello, Dolly!” sweepstakes! The final total of the number of times the preceding quote was used in the Dartnel is seven. (Actually, now it’s eight, but this one doesn’t count, and I digress.) The winner is Mister Stan Smith! Hold on… How did he win? Has he cracked the code for editing my Web page? I know for a fact that his guess was up in the hundreds. Ah, well, since there’s no prize for winning this sweepstakes, I couldn’t care less.

Today’s uplifting thought from the Dartman: I have a good head on my shoulders. Now, if I can only find my shoulders…

I have another job interview Tuesday in Oklahoma City. I’m also looking for non-accounting-related work here around Poteau. I need money! Although gas prices have leveled off (we’re actually at $1.999, just under $2 a gallon!), it’s still an expensive proposition. Besides, if I’m going to graduate school, I’ll need the money. I’m thisclose (the run-on is intentional, by the way) to swallowing my pride and applying at Wal-Mart. Who knows how long I’d last there? I thoroughly dislike going there in the first place! Too big, and too crowded! It can take thirty minutes to find a parking spot! How long would I last there without blowing a casket?

Since our crack editorial staff has requested it, it’s time for another installment of On This Date.

On this day in 1933, the Loch Ness monster was photographed for the first time. Hugh Grey spotted the giant serpent while walking along the shore of the Loch. He quickly grabbed his camera and snapped 5 photos. When they were developed, four were blank but the fifth contained the image many Scots see after a few hours at the pub.......

We have wrapped production on The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. I’m ready for a break from theater! I always enjoy it, but it’s exhausting. You try doing two theater productions back to back sometime! Everybody did a magnificent job. Most of our cast were children. In fact, two of them did a very good job of staying in character despite one of those unexpected occurrences that seem to plague the theater. At one point in the performance, loud thunder is supposed to be heard. (That’s the one sound effect I was not involved in, by the way.) To accomplish this, one usually strikes or shakes a sheet of metal. Anyway, at the Friday evening performance, I believe it was, after the thunder sound effects, a little kid in the audience, scared to death, started crying loudly. Backstage, we’re all trying desperately to keep straight faces, well aware that dialogue is supposed to follow the thunder. The two kids, one of whom is maybe six, managed to stay in character despite the rather distracting sound of crying (of course, they may have been rendered temporarily deaf by the thunder). Watching those two children keep their composure and deliver a flawless performance in those circumstances was probably the best part of the play.

Speaking of composure, keep yours as we unveil the new…

Word of the Week: diadem – n. meaning 1. A crown; 2. An ornamental headband worn (as by Eastern monarchs) as a badge of royalty; 3. Regal power; sovereignty; empire; -- considered as symbolized by the crown (pronounced DY-uh-dem)

What about apple cider? Is that traditional for Thanksgiving?

Darrell

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