Name: Sean McClafferty or Hey Asshole depending on how well you know me. Those who have just met me tend to refer to me a Sean or Mr. McClafferty, those of you who know me well.....

Age: 30 (my wife says 3 but I don't thinks that's official since I kinda remeber things from father back than 3 years)

Hieght: Somewhat less than 22 feet tall

Weight: This depends on how much I weigh & therefore is relative to what my weight is. As such, it is a variable value & cannot be accurately expressed until I find software that will link 2 bathroom scales, remotely, to my computer, one scale per foot which would then give a real-time report of my current weight displayed on this site.

Hair: What hair remains is brown & grey, I'm not sure how many of each color there are on my head, but as each day passes, rest assured there is less of both.

Eyes: Yes I have a full set of eyes, all functioning, though sometimes requiring me to lift one or more of my eyelids to get maximum effect. *They assist me in seeing, looking, peering & gawking. Useful little orbs, aren't they? *I have recently added oogling and glancing to the list of things my eyes can do.

Biography: I was born 30 years ago, have lived without interruption* till at least the time that this is being written. (*I suspect I may have entered a slight coma several years ago after an extended period of sleep deprevation. I slept a full 24 hours without waking to eat, drink or use the bathroom. Fortunatly I didn't do any of these while sleeping either.)

Likes: Me, I like Me alot cause I feed myself, wipe my ass for Me, and drive myself anywhere I want to go. I occasionally buy myself nice gifts as a thank you to myself for doing all those nice things for Me.
Alpine, if I drink beer, it had better be free or Alpine.
Whisky.
Magic the Gathering (the geekiest pass-time known to man besides maintaining a personal website).
Hockey, in the winter I watch hockey, in the summer I play video game hockey on the playstation. My favorit team is the Montreal Canadiens because they have won more than any other team in history. I'm not saying they are currently the BEST team and anyone who says their favorite team is the best is currently a Carolina Hurricanes fan. If you say your team is the best & it happens not to be the 'Canes, you had better review the Stanley Cup Final.
Motorcycles. I can't wiat till my shitted up pelvis decides to move back where God intended it to be so I can put my bike back on the road. I'd ride anything with 2 wheels & a motor. If you've ever seen my bike you that to be true. It is nickname "The Shithawk"
Music. I play guitar, bass guitar & sing...all badly...or rather, not very well. Being a tone deaf musician is hard, but at least I don't know when I sound like shit.
 The last thing I like is to not have people telling me I have spelled something wrong on my personal web site. If I have made a spelling error so grievous that you didn't understand the word, then you must suffer without knowing what I meant. This lame ass page builder software doesn't have spell check, I'm a poor typer & I don't have the patience to poor over every letter typed here. Ahy spul thenges wrangg al thuh taymh% soh fek uff.

Dislikes: I dislike pooping in my pants, therfore I make use of my toilet. (you should already know that I defecate because I mentioned earlier that I wipe my ass for Me)
I dislkie my pelvis, it does not do as told, it's a bad pelvis...very, very bad. Now pelvis, this hurts me more than it hurts you...but I'm only doing it cause....oh sorry I got off track a little.
Black current flavored anything. Black current tastes like evil enflavored* and I don't recomend anything that tases like evil except perhaps cursed donuts. *enflavor: to instill or give flavor to that which would otherwise have no taste. Example: to add Kool-Aid to water. Yes I know this is a made up word but it's real now cause it's on the intenet and everything on the internet is real.
I dislike people who think everything on the internet is real. Get a life retards, nothing on the internet has ever been or will ever be real. Bonsai kittens, ultra mega cock cravers, CNN, underwear and *america are all things that someone made look real with Photoshop.
*america should not be capitalised, they are capitalists already.
ats all you need to know about me, check back later when I post all my banking info, scurity passwords and Social Insurance Number on my unsecured website & submit it to every search engine going with the words sex, ide
ME
Can you guess what this page is about?, If not please have someone assist you in turning off your computer, go to the kitchen sink, find one of the delicious things in the cabinet below (feel free to mix several) and start consuming. Note that I wrote for too long & shitted up the page...I can't edit anything I wrote in the other boxes and I wrote too much to discard...I'm retarded.
Back to a page I built right, I'll correct this shitty mess later.