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Domestic Violence can range from a "Look to a Gunshot" ! |
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Welcome |
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Varierties Of Abuse & Identifying Abuse |
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Physical Abuse, is ANY touch that is NOT given in Love, Respect, & Dignity. It emotionally degrades & steals the Value System & Creates Fear! |
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Varieties Of Abuse |
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Emotional Abuse:
Put Downs Name Calling
Mind Games Mental Coercion
Extreme Controlling Behaviors
Conditional Affection
Loss Of Identity |
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Threats:
Threats to end relationship
Threats to do harm Physically/ Emtionally
Threats to life
To take the children
To Commit Suicide
To report to the Authorities
Forcing abused to break the law |
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Economic Abuse: Restrictions on employment
Making abused ask for money
Giving the abused an allowence
Taking any money abused earns
Required to account for every penny spent while grocery shopping |
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Intimidation:
Use of looks, actions, gestures, loud voice, or cursing to generate fear.
Continual arguing
Abused required to say what abuser wants to hear |
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There don't have to be brusies for there to be abuse! |
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Property Violence:
Punching walls Smashing things
Destroying property
Breaking down doors
Pounding tables
Abuse of pets & so on |
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Silence:
Use of silence as a weapon
Cannot or will not communicate
Often lacks the mechanism to express emotions |
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Isolation:
Controls what is done
Who is seen Who is talked to
Limits/listens to phone calls
Sabatoges car
Restricts outside interests
Frequent moves
Required to stay in house
Restricts access to mail
Deprives of friends/family |
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Use Of Children:
Use of children to give messages
Use of visitation rights as way to harass
Use of child-support as leverage |
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All abuse hurts
All abuse takes time to heal! |
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Responsibility Abuse:
Making abused responsible for everything in life
(bills, parenting, and so on) |
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Humiliation:
Hostile humor Public humiliation
Criticism Parenting skills
Degrating appearance
Housekeeping skills
Cooking & so on
Required to eat foods that abused does not like |
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Emotional Abuse
Any communication, admonition, directive, or conflict resolution that does not uplift, edify, or build relationship |
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Spiritual Abuse:
Use of scripture, words like "Submission", & "Obey", to abuse
Spiritual language |
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Sexual Abuse:
Demanding UNWANTED or bizarre sexual acts
Treatment of abused as sex object
Interuption of sleep for sex
Forced sex Extreme jeolousy |
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Physical Abuse:
Beating Biting
Choking Grabbing
Kicking Pinching
Pulling hair Punching
Pushing Restraining
Scratching Shaking
Shoving Slapping
Excessive tickling Twisting arms
Using weapons Spanking
Smothering Tripping |
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Use Of Male Privilege:
Treatment of the abused like a servant
Unilateral decision-making
Acting like Master of the castle |
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Changing the form of the abuse is not the same as stopping the abuse |
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Power:
Denial of basic rights
Using legal means of forcing
power
Deprivation of private/personal life
Mandated duties
Controlling the amount of bath water used
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Stalking:
Spying
Following to activities (store, work, church so on)
Extreme distrust Jeolousy |
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IDENTIFYING ABUSE |
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Common Characteristics of a Batterer |
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*He has low self-esteem, *He believes all the mythis about battering relationships, * He "blames" others for his actions, *He believes in the male premacy & sterotypical masculine sex role in the family, *He feels he has the right to teach her a lesson, *He has exaggerated jealousy, *He exhibits a dual personality, *He has severe stress reactions during which he uses drugs/alcohol &/or wife beating/child beating to cope, *He uses sex as an aggressive act to enhance his self-esteem, *He does not believe that his violent behavior should have any consequences, *He denies the couple has a problem & becomes enraged if the partner reveals the true situation, *He denies HE has a problem, *He over does things both while battering & when loving, *He came from a violent home, (Either saw father abuse or was abused himself, *His relationship with mother was unusual (love relationship), * His personality is distorted, usually history of being a loner, or socially involved only on a superficial level, *He often accomplishes feats that others are unable to do, *Batterers love to impress their woman, *Under stress, their sensitivity becomes paranoid in nature. |
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Common Characteristics of a Battered Woman |
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*She has low self-esteem, * She underestimates her abilities, *She doubts her competence & underplays any successes, *The mans constant critisism of her, affects her judgment, *She assumes the guilt for the batterer's behavior, *She believes all the myths about a bettering relationship, *She's a traditionalist, *She accepts responsibility for the batterer's actions, *She suffers from guilt, yet denies the terror & anger she feels, *She is th Peace keeper, *She attempt to control people & situations to keep the batterer from losing his temper, *She makes herself responsible for creating a safe environment for everyone, *She presents a passive face to the world but has the strength to manipulate her environment enough to prevent futher violence & from being killed, *She has severe stress reactions, *Battered woman are hard workers who live under constant fear & stress, *She is able to withstand enormous pain during battering, yet often complains about minor aliments such as fatigue, backaches, headaches, restlessness, inability to sleep, depression, anxiety, & suspiciousness, *She uses sex, as a way to establish intimacy, *She believes taht no one will be able to help her resolve her predicament except herself, *She may be overly gullible & trusting of others. |
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Common Characteristics of Children in Violent Homes |
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*They suffer sleep loss, *May not be recieving adequate nutrition or nurturing, *They seem depressed, *They exhibit a combination of limited tolerance, poor impulse control & martyr-like suffering, *They experience depression, considerable stress & phychosomatic disorders (bodily disorders induced by mental or emotional disturbaces, *Excessive school absenteeism, *They withdrawel, have low self-esteem, hyperactivity & so on. *They are economically & emotionally dependent, *They are at risk for substance, sexual acting out, running away, isolation, loneliness, & fear, *They have very shakey defination of self, *They experience a mixture of hope & depression, *Social isolation with peers, *They may "bargin" their behavior, "proving" themselves, as their mother do. |
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If you or someone you know, is being abused, PLEASE, call your local Police Department, Local Domestic Violence Shelter, The Child-Abuse Hotline, or the National Coalation Against Dometic Violence. |
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Free Cell Phones for Victims of Abuse
http://www.wirelessfoundation.org |
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National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD
http://www.childhelpusa.org |
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National Coalation Against Domestic Violence
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TDD)
http://ncadv.org |
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