| 23. CLIFFNOTES |
| I struggle up this shifting hill, tasting death from the wind's chill. I clench your memory in my hand. I'm too weak to take a stand against my gutlessness and glory, against my always-losing story. The sun is fading. My reasoning is clear. I cuddle inch-deep in the sand like a pen without a hand. I grip this freezing blade of silence, shimmering like days of kindness. I smile a glimpse of relief and engage in my own reprieve. The flashbacks are almost too much to bear. One gasp and it's done. I'm leaking. I've fallen. I'm lying embedded in destiny's clutch. One tear and I'm sprawled like a terrible squall. I'm lying. I'm dying. I'm done. I'm shaking. I'm cold, and the waves are so close. If I can reach for the note, then my feelings they'll know. I'm lying so still in trails of my failure. I'm shying away from the last hope and savior. I'm happy but frightened of crawling here, dying. I just want to touch the side of your smile, alone, like before when I was unnoticed. It's too late for you to take from my moment. One gasp and it's done. I'm leaking. I've fallen. My desire to lie still is granted with ease. One tear and I'm crying. I'm leaking. I'm trying to make what I've done please me. |