Mouseketerrier's Club
Scoreboard:
- Mice 6
- Mouseke"terriers" 4
Mouse 1
The first mouse caught me totally by surprise. Being a former city dog, I had never experienced the pleasure of "varmit control." One day I was cruising along the back patio minding my own business and lo and behold there sat a small gray creature nibbling on MY dog food. FLASH.......I took off like a shot. Mr. Mouse was one step ahead of me and zoomed under the porch and into the adjacent field where my friends the horses (or really really big dogs as Sidedish says) hang out. I barked and barked and tried to warn them that a small alien creature was lurking near them but to no avail. Well, for the rest of the day I stayed near the fence and protected Mom and Dad from something I'm sure they had never seen before.
Mouse 2
After several days I eventually gave up the thought of ever seeing the small gray creature again. Life went on as only it can for a brilliant beautiful Jack Russell such as myself, and I had almost totally forgotten about the incident..........when it HAPPENED AGAIN. This time I was inside buzzing through the Laundry Room and something zoomed under the dryer. I'll be doggone if there wasn't another one of those things...and now it had the audacity to be in my house. I knocked over brooms, mops, bottled water, trash cans and almost caught the little beast but he shot through the dryer vent. Mom thought I was having a Jack Attack something we are known for, but thank goodness she saw him too. I don't know who drove Dad crazier, me barking and whining trying to get down the dryer vent or Mom saying she was moving out till the house got the "all clear" sign. Dad grumbling and looking quite defeated begin the task of caulking holes and siliconing around pipes and such. Cool! Now I knew I wasn't having some bad Lassie dream and I'd be ready from now on. For the next week or two I did my nightly ritual of standing guard over the dryer vent and checking out everything out of the ordinary in the Laundry Room.
Mouse 3
The third time I saw one of the creatures I was out in the barn with Dad helping him paint his old truck. He was spraying the front hood and I was making sure he did it right or getting in the way as they sometimes like to say. Dad painted something that apparently wasn't suppose to be midnight blue and uttered some words that he usually reserves for "bad drivers" and as he was grabbing a rag out of a cabinet I spied another one. He was sitting there pretty as you please, his little whiskers barely moving and about the size of a golf ball. I know about golf balls cuz Mom likes to hit them and I being the helpful canine that I am will go and get them for her. This here golf ball had little beady eyes and was looking dead at me. I lunged and Mr. Mouse took off. Having had some previous "mousing experience",namely they like to get into spaces I can't, I quickly cut him off at the pass. That's a phrase I picked up watching westerns with Dad. I grabbed the little fur ball with my mouth and proudly took him to Dad. Dad said a few more choice words as I dumped him on his foot. Have you ever heard the phrase "playing possum"? Well that's what Mr. Mouse did. He just sat there and didn't move a muscle. When I barked and went to get Sidedish to show her what I had caught that old mouse jumped up and ran under the barn door and was gone. Bummer dude. There must be more to this mousing thing than I thought. Don't worry I'll be ready for the next one.
Mouse 4?
It was a lovely day in the Neighborhood as the saying goes, and Mom and Dad were spending some quality time with us under the new Gazebo that they had especially built for us.........or so they said, and I heard something in the barn. Leaping out of Dad's lap and leaving toenail skid marks on his bare knees I dashed off to see what was up. Sure enough, it was a mouse! Only this was the biggest mouse that I had ever seen. It was a Chernoble Mouse to be sure. Somewhere along the line this little guy had sucked up some major radiation and had turned into the beast that now stood before me. This guy was half the size of me and Sidedish and mean and ugly to boot. Well I curled my lips up and showed this mangy demon my teeth. He did the same. So much for round one. I gathered up all my courage and bolted toward him. He didn't move. This kind of threw me and I quicky swerved and rethought the situation from a safe distance. About that time Mom and Dad had heard all the rucus and came into the barn. Not wanting to look bad, I charged the Amazon Mouse. He turned on his heel and took off out in the yard. Sidedish joined in and we cornered him by the back fence. Once hemmed in, he reared up on his hind feet and actually spit at us. I was throughly disgusted with his manners and Sidedish took off for parts unknown. About the time I had wiped the spittle from my nose he found a hole under the fence and took off. I barked and growled and would have chased him and got him if Mom and Dad would have let me out of the yard. Yea... thats my story and I'm sticking to it. Later I heard them talking about it and they called him a wharf rat whatever that is. I know I'll be dreaming of him tonight.......hum......maybe I better sleep between them to keep them safe.
Mouse 5
I must say I have almost perfected this mousing thing. Late one evening I headed toward the back door to go out for my nightly sentry duty. The barn being a haven for critters was first on the list. I hopped through the doggie door and started sniffing. This usually alerts the little monsters if they are in there and sets them to running. I sauntered around Dad's old truck and spied one trying to get out the barn. Well apparently they had heard about me. About time I got some respect around here. I grabbed the little beast by the tail and that was all she wrote. Deciding that I should keep an eye on this one, I took it inside. Placing it delicately at the foot of the bed so I could watch it I layed down to catch some ZZZZZ's. Sometime in the night I was rudely awakened by Mom screaming some obscenities. She had reached down to grab some more covers and inadvertently grabbed my prize catch. After turning on the light and seeing what she had, (I think she thought it was one of Sidedish's fuzzy toys...hee hee) she threw it down and jumped from the bed hollaring and carrying on. By this time Dad had jumped up and grabbed the gun thinking we were being invaded. Shadow and Sidedish had jumped up and were barking but I remained calm and just looked at everyone. As things started to chill Mom started giving me the evil eye. Trying to look as innocent and sweet as possible I eased off the bed and took off for the den. She followed of course and gave me lecture #39. Don't bring anything in with you from the yard except your sisters. Now they check my teeth before I can come in. Boy you just can't please everyone.
Rat 6
The most wonderful thing happened. Mom called it a monsoon where terrible winds blow with torrential rains and believe me they were not impressed but I was. All that rain ran some big 'ole ugly rats into my domain.......the barn. Rats as you know are sneaky, conniving, mangy, wretched little beasts that fill my live with joy and hope. The joy of chasing their slithering, whisker twitching little nasty selfs and hope that I don't get maimed in the process. Due to the high waters all sorts of critters were hunting for dry places but these had the nerve to pick MY barn. These must have been circus rats because they were walking along the rafters of the barn and sneering down at me and Sidedish. Scooby our newly adopted Australian Sheperd sister saw them first and let out a Tarzan yelp that scared the pee wads right out of me and Sidedish. We jumped up and looked up to see what she was staring at. Being a baby, although a huge baby, (Mom calls her baby Huey) all sorts of things still scare her. I saw a long, grey, reptilian tail hanging off the beam. The race was on. Dish took the back, I ran and jumped on Dad's pickup bed and poor old Scooby fled through the doggie door. Confused the rat took off. I'm sure he didn't have any idea that I could reach him by a series of leaps to and from various objects stacked in the barn. You see agility training has really paid off. About the time I was eye level with the beam he decided to check out. Sidedish was just a waiting on him. She snarled, her hair stood straight up on her back and she lunged. She caught a piece of rat fuzz and stood her ground. Mr. Rat had had enough and slinked through a hole that I could barely see through. How do they do that anyway? Anyway, the rest of the day was a bummer. Sidedish pranced and danced and growled and in general showed off trying to show me she was as good as I am with critter catching. Not likely but Mom is making me write this like it really happened. Maybe I can sneak in later and make a few rewrites to give credit where credit is due. ME of course.
Super Rat 7
Sidedish and I love to swim. Even Scooby and Shadow love the water. Mom took us down to the bayou to romp, swim and roll in dead things. The latter was not on her list of things to do, but we just can't help ourselves. Scooby is now HUGE and HAIRY and she always can find the best things to roll in. Getting a whiff of something ultra dead and decaying she threw herself down with the vigor and vitality of a mere puppy, which she is, and squirmed and got dead something all over her back. Now even I love a good roll in a dead thing but this was truly the most repulsive thing even I had smelled. Mom was not a happy camper and she took Scooby down to the water to hose her off. About the time she got to the water's edge I spied a huge wood rat slinking along the opposite bank. With a superman leap I jumped across the narrow part of the bayou and commenced to pursue the little buggar. Scooby now much bigger and stronger and no longer afraid of critters lunged after me. Now, had not Mom's hand been wrapped up in her collar and her feet not precariously perched on the bank she probably would have been okay. As it was when Scooby took off so did Mom. Right into the bayou........face down.........leaves and debris hanging from her newly coiffured hairdo......and saying nasty words that poor little Scooby's virgin ears had never heard. Distracted by the commotion I lost site of the rat although I sniffed all up and down the bank. This kind of ended our day out as Mom was smelling as funky as Scooby. She made all of us ride in the back of the truck which I didn't think was particularly fair because she smelled as bad as us. Oh well!
Mice Babies 8
The neighbors have these horses and I love to agitate them. If they start running and kicking up their heals.....so do I. This gets Sidedish, Scooby and Shadow all fired up and then I can go lay down and watch the fireworks. Cool huh? One day the black horse started snorting and rearing and carrying on so I ran over to see what trouble I could get going. Usually they take off running but today Blackie, for lack of a better name, just kept pawing at the ground around this dilapidated old shed in their pasture. At the time I was helping Mom weed the garden and was outside our fence. Lucky me! I took off after Blackie trying to ignore Mom yelling at me to get my butt back over in our yard. As you know if you are a Jack Russell some things you just must do and to heck with the consequences. Well Blackie took off and I thought what the heck, I'm already in trouble, so I took off too. As I was streaking by the shed some small movement caught my eye. Baby mice!! Six or seven of them. Doing a 180 degree turn I eased on over to get a better look at them. Most of the ones I'm used to chasing are big and hairy. These could barely move and were naked. No hair.....you talk about ugly. I thought they were ugly with hair......but NOOOOOOOOO. Just 'bout the time I got my snoot down to give them a whiff, Mom snagged me from behind. I never did get to see anymore but believe you me if I get out again I know where to go.
Mouse 9
Never would I have thought that other things chase mice besides me and Sidedish. One day early in the morning Mom was working in the garden plucking vine ripe tomatoes (which we all love) and Sidedish and myself were supervising her work. She reached down and lifted a plant upright and what do you think shot out but a mouse. Charging forward I nearly grabbed the little sucker when this long black thing slithered by my feet. What the heck was this? Startled I jumped back and stared at this creature. It looked like a rat's tail with no body. I peeked under the bushes to see where the rest of the critter was. Nothing. Mom hollared about this time and grabbed me up by the scruff of the neck and literally threw me over the fence. Totally confused I looked at her like she was crazy. She ran into the barn and came back with a hoe. For a minute I thought she was having some kind of episode as she was waving the hoe and beating up the tomatoes. What could these tomatoes have done to her that upset her like this? Stunned I looked on as she danced and yelled and beat the tomatoes. Wow, I hope I never get on her bad side like these vegetables did. Soon Dad came out and he joined in this little dance of death. SNAKE he yelled. He grabbed the hoe from Mom and in one clean blow beheaded the creature. Later as I was laying in the living room watching Lassie, I heard them saying that the little mouse I was watching was more than likely lunch for the snake and I could have been also. They said this is what I get for sticking my nose into things where it doesn't belong. I don't know about that. I can take care of myself thank you very much.
Mouse 10 The Christmas Mouse
Oh how I love Christmas! Chewies, squeakies, peeing on the Christmas tree........only once and when it was outside laying by the backdoor before Mom and Dad brought it in. It smelled soooooo good. After I got "the look" and Dad hosed off the tree they brought it in and put it up. I always help with the decorations as I have impeccable taste and sometimes am forced to rearrange the ornaments just for aesthetics sake. That is the ones hanging on the bottom anyway. Now my favorite is the popcorn string that surrounds the tree from top to bottom. It gets a little bare as the season rolls on as I sometimes need a midnight snack on my nightly mouse patrol. Well the other night I was just easing me a popcorn kernel off the bottom when I spied a mouse hanging on our Christmas tree. It looked a might odd with a hook through its head and a silly little red and white hat on its head but knowing mice as I do they will go to great lengths to fool you. Curling up my right lip I uttered a menacing growl and leaped at the little buggar. Unbeknownst to me the mouse had a death grip on this branch and so it took some serious tugging to get him free. Meanwhile the tree had started to sway slightly from its original position and before you know it it came crashing down around me. Not to fear, I kept hold of my prize and wrenched him from the tree. Violently shaking my head from side to side I must have finally killed him cause he just laid there in a heap with his silly hat hanging down over his eyes and a little silver hook that looked like a broken radio antenna protruding from his head. Looking around I suddenly realized that I could be in potential danger. Not from that cowardly mouse who didn't even try to fight back or run but from Mom who was going to get up the next morning and see what I had done to the tree. I was sure that knocking it down was right up there with peeing on it and I was going to get in trouble...AGAIN. I had to hide the evidence. I gingerly picked up the mouse and hid him behind the sofa and slunk back to bed. The next morning I decided to sleep in so that they would be sure and think it couldn't have been me. Mom got up. I smelled the coffee brewing,
the TV got turned on and then it happened. But miraculously she didn't hollar at me. She hollared at Dad. They both stood there trying to figure out what had happened and as they begin to clean up the mess Mom had decided that Dad didn't anchor it good in its stand. Whew! That was a close one. And you know what? As of yet no one has found my mouse.
Mouse 1
Mouse 2
Mouse 3
This is what I look like when I'm chasing varmits. Not unlike the metamorphosis that the Incredible Hulk goes through. Cute huh!
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