Death Tran's Wacky Friends
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The Degenerates: Also know as the Fearsome Four and use to be know as the Fearsome Five until their fifth member, Jerome, was beaten to death in the little know LA white honkey riot after a few anglo saxons heard that O.J. Simpson was set free. The LA, as in Louisiana and not to be confused with the more popular Los Angeles, riot only had one death and sadly it was the Degenerate's fifth member. Many black churches were burned and stores looted. The culprits were never caught and the Degenerate's main objective, other than their homosexual acts of sodomy towards each other, is to catch the bastards that beat poor Jerome to death. When will people learn that violence won't solve problems? May he Rest In Peace.

DavidThe Cube:With his fixation on the Rubic's Cube, The Cube turned everything he owns into a cubic shape. His favorate character on television is Bizzaro. He spends most of his time at box companies stealing all of the cardboard boxes. The Cube was exiled from his home country, Cuba, after he accidently farted into Fidel Castro's fireplace, burning down Castro's home. After that day, The Cube never ate beans again.
Text doesn't do this justiceJava-Man: Being able to hack through the internet using the new Java script language, Java-Man is an asset to the team. He is an idiot sevant and likes to watch reruns of The People's Court. He also dislikes K-Mart and occasionally steals little rubber bunnies which he later uses as 'cock rings' while he preforms, dancing nude live at parties. He tends to repeat things and sometimes even steals slogans from other people, pretending that it was his. His parents abandoned him at Kathy Lee's sweatshop. After his workplace was closed down, he traveled to the United States to begin a better life for himself.
John HensonPoohog: He is the only person to make money for the group hosting his own popular show on E!. He acquired his nickname when he lived on the farm as a yound boy. Growing up miles from other people, Poohog became a zooaphiliac. When people discovered that a pig defacted on him during his beastiality act, they gave him his nickname. After this embarrassing event, Poohog discovered why people never have sex with pigs. Because it'll squeal on you.
BOOM!JomBon: Working under the supervision of the unibomber, JomBon has a knack for blowing things up. He has been known to blow up international planes for the hell of it. He's fairly angry at the world because the one woman he loved, Wonder Woman, left him pregnant after a one night stand. He was then forced to give up his baby after he went through nine months of hell just because the government doesn't think it's safe for a male to raise a child alone, especially since men aren't suppose to get pregnant.

Profiles of Other Dopes I Know

Bonck!Death Bonck: He wanted to join the Degenerates, but was rejected. They told him that he was too old to be part of the team, but Death Bonck knew that the only reason he wasn't allowed to join was because he was heterosexual. After being rejected from one group, Bonck looked for many other groups to join. He looked many placed and was rejected by many people for various reasons such as being too white, too male, too hairy, too stupid, too smart, and just too. Bonck finally hit it big by joining the German group KMFDM.
AnalLonni: After her parents were killed in 'The War', the white man that killed them adopted her into the family and married her aunt. Little is known about her real parents, but her adopted parents were fairly known throughout the world. Sadly, after her adopted father was shot, her mother became an alcoholic and Lonni was forced to leave her home. She pays tribute to her dead father by researching and advertising for her father's old band, The Beatles.
Fore!Mike Da Mulligan: The former golf champion had to retire after getting hit in the head by a golf ball. After the accident he became slightly retarded and constantly listens to alternative music. His ultimate dream now is to become the best guitar player in the universe. Sadly Mike lost all his money in another freak accident. Four people stole a plane with no insurance and crashed it into his mansion. The rest of his money from his golf years was lost in the lawsuit when the four people sued him and won for breaking every bone in their body on his property.

Grant Horne: Having a paranoia that Spanish people are taking over the United States, Grant tries to impregnate every Spanish woman he sees so that their children won't be fully Spanish, thus stopping them from taking over the country. Having an Irish background and a high tolerance for alchohol, he likes to have drinking contests with the hispanic females he meets and then uses his patented Grant Horne moves on them.

Maxamilliano: Also know as Dent from the Hitchhiker's Guid To The Galaxy. Maxamilliano is a highly unstable man. His two roommates, Gerald and Joe, are very scared of his psychotic ways. Maxamilliano wasn't always like this, though. It was only after his father died and his mother remarried a man which raped him anally every night before he went to bed that he became this way.

Not His Roommate<--That's Not His Roommate
Gerald: Was once a popular Chipendales dancer, but was kicked out after he developed an eating disorder from a horrible car accident. Gerlad became so fat that nobody wanted to see him naked anymore. He can now only be shown nude in freak shows. Gerald did get one lucky contract after this accident; he was in the recent movie SEVEN.

Pages of Other People I Know

Who the hell is this?
David Maez? I haven't seen this punk in a few years
Dogbert's Homepage??? Some Dilbert links and game stuff
My BEST web page yet...
Catherine's home page... not really sure what the topic is...
All you want to know about... SEWING?
From the makers of cylindrix...

Last Updated January 12, 1997

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