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Hello, Moe's Tavern....

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"Hello, Moe's Tavern..."

Bart: Hello is Jacques there?
Moe: Who?
Bart: Jacques, Last name Strap.
Moe: Hold on. Jacques Strap! Hey, guys, I'm looking for a Jacques Strap!

Bart: Is Oliver there?
Moe: Who?
Bart: Oliver Klozoff
Moe: Hold on I'll check.
Moe: Oliver Klozoff! Call for Oliver Klozoff.

Moe: Hello, Moe's Tavern - birthplace of Rob Roy.
Bart: Is Seymour there? Last name Butts.
Moe: Just a sec. Hey is there a Butts here? Seymour Butts? Hey, everybody, I wanna Seymour Butts!
Moe: Hey, wait a minute. LIsten, you little scum-sucking pus-bucket. When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna pull out your eyeball with a corkscrew.

Bart: Hello is Homer there?
Moe: Homer who?
Bart: Homer Sexual
Moe: Wait one second, let me check. Homer Sexual. Ah, come on, one of you guys has gotta be a Homer Sexual.
Moe: Oh no, you rotten little punk! If I ever get my hands on you, I'll sink my teeth into your cheek and rip your face off!

Bart: Uh, hello. Is Mike there? Last name, Rotch?
Moe: Hold on, I'll check. Mike Rotch! Mike Rotch! Hey, has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately?

Bart: Uh, yes, I'm looking for a friend of mine. Last name Jass, first name Hugh.
Moe: Hold on, I'll check. Hugh Jass, Hey, I wanna Hugh Jass. Oh, somebody check the men's room for a Hugh Jass.
Hugh: Uh, I'm Hugh Jass.
Moe: Telephone
Hugh: Hello, this is Hugh Jass.
Bart: Uh, hi.
Hugh: Who's this?
Bart: Bart Simpson
Hugh: What can I do for you, Bart?
Bart: Uh, look, I'll level with you, mister. This is a crank call that sorta backfired and I'd like to bail out right now.
Hugh: All right. Better luck next time.

Moe: Moe's Tavern, Moe speaking.
Bart: Uh, yes, I'm looking for a Mrs. O'Problem? First name, Bea?
Moe: Uh, yeah, just a minute, I'll check. Uh Bea O'Problem? Bea O'Problem! Come on guys, do I have a Bea O'Problem here?
Barney: You sure do!
Moe: Oh... It's you, isn't it! Listen, you. When I get a hold of you, I'm going to use your head for a bucket and paint my house with your brains!

Moe: Hey, just a sec, I'll check. Amanda Huggenkiss. Hey, I'm looking for Amanda Huggenkis! Why can't I find Amanda Huggenkis?

Laura: Hello, I'd like to talk to Ms. Tinkle. First name... Ivana.
Moe: Ivana Tinkle. Just a sec. Ivana Tinkle? Ivana Tinkle! Alright everybody, put down your glasses - Ivana Tinkle!