My Fellow Americans
Due to the lack of viable candidates in the election,
I have graciously accepted the Nut Party's nomination for
President of the United States.
The time has come for a change in dis country. Who better
that de squirrel who knows where all his nuts are. And dat
squirrel be me, Alex T. Squirrel. Dese humans, dey just canna run de country. Dey cut down trees and destroy Nature. It is time for de animals to take control and restore the natural order of tings.
Introducing my Vice Presidential Candidate
Ms. Elyse d'Coati-Mundi
Ms. d'Coati-Mundi is a bery qualified candidate for de
vice presidency as she hab lots ob experience coverin fer
her brother Monito, chief ob Secret Service.
Also she be female and I be likin de ladies.
This has been a political advertisement, paid for in part by Nuts for a Better America, The Squirrel Underground, United Tree Rats of America, and Alex's mom.