Dripping Sarcasm Reviews Copyright

1. Did they decide to save money using old moon-landing footage? Oh well, at least Sam finally got to wear that space suit she always wanted.

2. "Since Neanderthals were a dominant species on Earth." "Aah, that takes me back." Was that supposed to be subtle in-joke about Broca Divide, or did Jack just spend a lot of time watching Flintstones?

3. Yes, Danny, because most time capsules have incredibly powerful power supplies and emit radiation. Besides, that radiation must be affecting Jack since he actually took a vote on whether to take the sphere back.

4. "Might be a crush." Teasing your pseudo-sister about a guy is one thing, doing it when it's being recorded on a microphone by that guy verges on extreme.

5. So basically Danny is just pulling his theories on the artifact out of ass. Good to know.

6. REJECTED DIALOGUE
Jack: Good morning, Campers. Hope you all had a good nights sleep. I sure did. Wonderful dreams about tank tops and bikinis.
Danny: Morning people deserve to be shot. You've been off having a good nights sleep while I've stuck here staring at a bunch of tiny dots while Lieutenant Puppy-dog drooled all over Sam. And I don't care how good your dreams about Sam were, if you start singing we're going to find out just how much I've learned about firearms in the last two years.

7. If I didn't know better I'd say Graham created that radiation spike just to keep Sam from leaving.

8. So obviously this episode was designed to give RDA most of the week off. All he had to do was go through heavy makeup and sit on a ladder for a couple of hours.

9. What is it about Jack that makes his shoulders act as magnets for sharp pointy things?

10. "It goes right through the scapula. Colonel, why are you . . .?" I would love to hear Janet finish that sentence. Colonel, why are you still conscious? Why are you so upset? Why aren't you professing undying love to Sam?

11. So Danny wears his glasses on top of his head when he's reading AND when he's running all over base? What are those things for? Setting him apart as 'the geek' so all the aliens can I.D. him? A nice hair accessory?

12. REJECTED DIALOGUE
Hammond: "The N.I.D. want to see it."
Sam: "Even knowing what it's done to Colonel O'Neill?"
Danny: "Especially knowing what it's done to him. Maybourne wants to find the people who made it and give them a medal. But first he just wants to come here and enjoy the site of Jack hoisted on his own, um, never mind."

13. So Janet comes to report to Sam on Jack's condition instead of going to the General? Gee, I didn't realize that being 2IC made you next of kin. Wonder if Janet knows something we don't.

14. A virus that infects people and computers? I knew it was my computer making me sick!

15. Whoa, they keep huge barrels covered in black lights around? They must have some killer parties when Hammond's off-base. Just turn down the lights in the Gateroom, set the 'Gate up for a nice blue glow, turn up the black lights, crank some music through that sound system and they've got their own disco.

16. "What did you just inject me with?" So Hammond just lets Janet stick him with a needle without question anytime she feels it? If he ever ticked her off he'd end up feeling like a pincushion.

17. So Graham displays a crush on Sam and he ends up looking like death warmed over? Gee, too bad that doesn't work on the aliens who moon over her.

18. REJECTED DIALOGUE
Jack: "You told a joke. It's almost worth being pinned to a wall by a metal shaft through the shoulder and infected by yet another alien virus to hear you tell a joke that actually makes sense in translation. Quick call Danny and Sam! I finally won that bet that I could teach you my sense of humor!"

19. Where is Danny getting page numbers from a series of incredibly tiny dots on the surface of a sphere? With all the presumptions he makes he might as well be using a Ouija board.

20. REJECTED DIALOGUE
Danny: "What we thought was gibberish on the computers was actually just the result of installing Windows on our operating systems! So unless the artifact is controlled by Bill Gates, it's not the organism's fault at all!"

21. What the organism was actually trying to communicate was actually more along these lines: "We just can't take all this sexual tension. Please someone write some happy fanfic and just get Sam and Jack together already. Oh, and we'd like a pizza. Lots of meats, hold the veggies and mushrooms. And caffeine, we really need some caffeine."

22. So the moral of the story is that if they had ignored everything Sam recommended from the beginning there wouldn't have been a problem?

23. That sound you hear is the collective "Aaaaah" going up from all the S/J shippers as Jack squeezes Sam's hand to let her know he trusts her.

24. "You awoke us." Big mistake. Who knew that the little alien viral intelligence wasn't a morning person?

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