Dripping Sarcasm Reviews Copyright

1. REJECTED DIALOGUE
Simms: "Since the reinception of this program I have eagerly awaited every word of every mission report. Especially SG-1's. You guys are better than TV. In fact as soon as the program is declassified I'm selling your reports to Hollywood. We'll probably make a movie first, then a TV show. I'm thinking of getting that MacGyver guy to play O'Neill in the series..."

2. Every time I see Danny in that suit I just want to rip it off of him. Wait, that didn't come out right. I mean I want to take him shopping for something that isn't tweed. I swear he's getting cast-offs from Giles' wardrobe on Buffy.

3. "Fulfilled tasks and duties well beyond the responsibility of a Captain." Exactly whose responsibility does the Air Force say repeatedly saving the world and rewriting the laws of physics is?

4. REJECTED DIALOGUE
Jack: "Normally I am a man of very few words. So let's keep it down to nine: Screw the regs. Sam, I love you. Marry me."

5. From the look on Danny's face I'd say he's realizing he's got some competition in the timing department. Better watch your back, Danny. Looks like Thor is trying to steal your title.

6. If Jack made it all the way to "in conclusion", does that mean he stood on Thor's ship and gave his entire speech? No wonder Thor decided not to appear right away.

7. REJECTED DIALOGUE
Thor: "Our ships have never been detected in orbit around Earth before."
Jack: "What about Roswell?"
Thor: "We do not speak of that incident. It makes us look fallible."
Jack: "Can't have that."

8. Since when do the Tok'ra trust the Asgard? I don't remember the Tok'ra ever mentioning the Asgard (or vice versa) and somehow I doubt that the original Hammer was designed to do a Goa'uld/Tok'ra personality test before offing the snake. I'm starting to get the feeling Sam is just making this stuff up because SG-1 likes Thor, not that there's anything wrong with that.

9. REJECTED DIALOGUE
Thor: "We have chosen you, O'Neill."
Jack: "Now see that could be a mistake. I don't get along too well with snakeheads. And frankly I have trouble getting through a conversation with people I do like without insulting them or offending them in some way. Just ask Danny-boy about his rocks."
Danny: "Artifacts, Jack."
Jack: "See. Now Dr. Jackson is an extremely educated and articulate man..."
Thor: "The Goa'uld do not like archaeologists. I believe it stems from an encounter with Tok'ra archaeologist. The Goa'uld word for archaeologist is now synonymous with slut."

10. "Yu is the name of the Goa'uld." I feel a "Who's on first" joke coming on. Maybe Yu is batting. Wait, I don't think that's proper grammar.

11. I believe that look Sam and Janet exchanged over Nirrti said something along the lines of "Keep Cassie as far away from here as possible." Either that or "You hold her down and I'll kill the bitch." I'd say it's a toss-up.

12. I gotta go with Teal'c on this one. They ought to keep some weapons around. Maybe not anything as obvious as a staff weapon, but a knife or small gun in an ankle holster would have been a good idea. It's not like the Goa'uld are known for their honor and honesty.

13. I suppose splatting them against the iris would probably violate one of the conditions of the treaty, wouldn't it? Damn.

14. Gee, I hope Yu doesn't expect Sam to change into that blue dress. Nirrti probably couldn't stand the competition.

15. Why do I get the feeling that "Onack holka shakna" is the Goa'uld equivalent of "My name is Indigo Montoya, you killed my father. Prepare to die"?

16. If they wanted to put surveillance devices in their quarters (which would probably have been a good idea) they could've borrowed all those tiny little microphones and cameras that are hidden all over the place on the X-Files. As long as the Goa'ulds didn't take apart their pens they would have been fine.

17. Just what exactly did Sam walk in on Jack doing that he had to button his jacket when he turned around? I really don't think the meeting room with a bunch of Goa'uld do any minute was the time and place for that--at least not if he wasn't going to ask Sam to join him.

18. REJECTED DIALOGUE
Jack: "So basically you guys are bluffing the Goa'uld big time."
Thor: "When you have this good a poker face, you can get away with much bluffing."

19. So Danny is good at groveling? Well, that's something to keep in mind. Maybe if he did enough groveling to Janet he could get the team out of all those shots she seems to love giving them.

20. REJECTED DIALOGUE
Yu: "We order the immediate and unconditional forfeiture of the Tau'ri Stargate. Both of them."
Jack: "That's gonna be a problem. We kind of misplaced the beta Gate."
Yu: "Impossible."
Jack: "Guess you guys don't have to deal with bureaucracy where you come from."

21. Gee, Jack, I'm guessing Danny didn't tell anyone about Teal'c's vendetta with Cronos for the same reason you didn't tell anyone about Sam's. Or is the fact that you're in love with her a loophole to get you out of that obligation?

22. "There's one rule we haven't broken yet." And we all know how much Jack hates to do things half way. He'd probably tell them 'rules are made to be broken', but that would be a cliche.

23. REJECTED DIALOGUE
Jack: "She's dead. Right? Please tell me she's dead."
Sam: "You're the one who killed her, how should I know?"
Jack: "Well you were there."
Sam: "I was nearly unconscious. What's your excuse?"
Jack: "All I could think about was getting my arms around you."
Sam: "Now that's a good excuse."
Danny: "Get a room."

24. "Lyin', schemin', no good for nothin', slimy, overdressed style-mongers..." That's enough, Jack. Save it for Anise and Marty.

25. "Anyone who is caught by one of the System Lords will be shown no mercy. They will suffer greatly." Doesn't this treaty stuff just give you a warm, fuzzy feeling?

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