Dripping Sarcasm Reviews Copyright

1. They go through more of those UAVs. I hope Sam's buying them in bulk. I wonder which causes more damage to them: being shot down or Jack's attempts at making them do loop-de-loops.

2. Only Daniel would find a force field with his nose. I'm sure when they get home Janet will kiss it and make it better.

3. REJECTED DIALOGUE:
Aris: "Perhaps you've heard of me."
Jack: "Not I. Teal'c?"
Teal'c: "I have not."
Aris: "Well that's it. I'm firing my PR people."

4. How can Jack be so surprised that they're famous? Haven't they all been lurking on the lists? Maybe he just didn't know about our intergalactic members. Of course, the Goa'uld do tend to prefer those character death fics...

5. REJECTED DIALOGUE:
Aris: "Do we really have to get so dramatic?"
Jack: "How else are we gonna get an Emmy nomination?"
Aris: "Maybe you could have someone contract cancer. It worked for the X-Files."
Sam: "Do I look like Gillian Anderson to you?"
Danny: "Maybe with the right hair dye..."

6. Jack should just be happy that the little Boba Fett wannabe didn't decide to freeze him in Carbonite. Though he probably wouldn't mind seeing Sam in that gold bikini.

7. Obviously Aris's upgrades come from someone who knows what they're doing. Bill Gates could be the ultimate weapon if we could just get the Goa'uld to install Windows 2000.

8. REJECTED DIALOGUE:
Danny: "Even if we could find a way out of here, he said he disabled the Stargate."
Jack: "And given how trustworthy bounty hunters are known to be, we should just take his word for it."
Danny: "I cannot believe that you of all people are trying to Scully me."

9. Is that supposed to be yellow blood or has Aris just been playing paintball?

10. So Aris has Sam treat his wound because Astrophysics is so much closer to medicine than Archaeology? Danny could probably do a better job, he spends the most time in the infirmary...for one reason or another.

11. Danny just doesn't seem to grasp the concept that having a high price on your head is *bad*. You'd think he'd be happy not to be the target for once.

12. REJECTED DIALOGUE:
Danny: "Good thinking."
Jack: "Happens."
Danny: "Is it a blue moon again already?"
Jack: "Carter must be rubbing off on me."
Danny: "How exactly is Sam rubbing you?"

13. Wow, apparently even the Goa'uld have countdowns on their bombs. At least it wasn't a red digital readout.

14. Sam's thoughts while the self-destruct is counting down: "Our lives depend on Jack and Daniel either overriding an alien bomb or finding a single code from thousands of permutations in two minutes. We're doomed."

15. With an explosion immanent, Jack sends Daniel to safety while staying behind to try in vain to save a trapped Sam (and Teal'c). Hope this isn't setting a precedent.

16. So the zats are Aris Boch's version of the magic fingers? That was not an image I needed.

17. REJECTED DIALOGUE:
Aris: "You know, I'm very disappointed. I thought we had something good going."
Jack: "Well, it was nice while it lasted, but it just wasn't meant to be. It's not you, it's me. We're too different. I hope we can still be friends."
Sam: "Colonel, is there something I should know about you two?"
Jack: "We had some good times, but it's always been you, Sam."
Danny: "Aaaaaah."

18. So the whole galaxy has figured out that Jack loves Sam and won't leave her behind. Apparently, the only ones they're still fooling are each other.

19. Tacluchnatagamuntorons? What horribly bored person named these things? Like the Jaffas actually have time in a battle situation to yell "Watch out, they have tacluchnatagamuntorons!"

20. REJECTED DIALOGUE:
Aris: "I don't have to tie you to a tree or anything unpleasant like that, do I?"
Sam: "In the absence of railroad tracks and twirling black mustaches, I think we can skip the whole 'damsel in distress' thing. It's such a cliche."
Aris: "And we all know how O'Neill feels about those."

21. Gee, a species of alien warriors addicted to a substance supplied by a more powerful race that uses the dependency to keep them as slaves. What an original concept. Why don't they just call the stuff Ketracel White? Forgive my Scott Evil impression, but: *cough* rip-off *cough*

22. REJECTED DIALOGUE:
Aris: "Either the Goa'uld got them or they're not playing by the rules."
Sam: "You know everything else about us, but you don't know how Colonel O'Neill feels about rules?"
Aris: "I thought he must be good at obeying them, since they're the only thing keeping you two apart."
Sam: "That's about the only rule he does follow. His inconsistency is one of his charms."

23. Sam is unconscious and Jack insists that he be the one to go check on her. What a shock.

24. At least he's gotten better at waking her up gently since the last time he caught her sleeping. Maybe next time he'll use the Sleeping Beauty kiss method.

25. The real reason Aris wagged his finger at Sam and Jack was to let them know he had pictures of them to send to Hammond. Little does he know that Hammond has had their wedding gift picked out since shortly after they met.

26. Wasn't it nice of everyone to leave Sam and Jack alone in that cargo bay for God knows how long? Makes you wonder what they were doing when Sam passed out.

27. And in an amazing twist ending, Teal'c lives! I was so worried.

28. Did anyone else spend this whole episode waiting for Aris Boch to morph into Brian Thompson? Bounty hunters are just more fun when they can turn into the leads anytime they want.

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