SEX:   *looks at interviewer strangely*    I am male.

HOME:   Presently, Tollana.  we're trying to keep this one from blowing up too.

HEIGHT:  not too-too much taller than the lovely Samantha Carter of Earth.

EYES:  Would you not rather hear of Samantha Carter's lovely eyes?

HAIR: dark.  {we Tollans are achromatic}.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE TV SHOW?  I must confess, ever since I  was a little boy, there was this show we received… `the Day The Earth  Stood Still'….does that count?   {Klaatu was my role model and hero}.

WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?  There have been no animals on Tollan for many generations, and Tollana has no small rodents.  {they do fly though, but we keep them out of the cities}.

FAVOURITE MAGAZINE? :  Sadly, we Tollans do not have magazines. {though I was reading some during my stay on Earth}.

FAVOURITE SMELL:  Samantha.  {I refuse to believe she wears perfume – she is far too beautiful and advanced to do such a thing}.

WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD:    Having to leave Samantha to go to the Nox world.

BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD:     Seeing that Samantha was okay when I came to request o'neill's presence for Triad.

THINGS TO DO ON THE WEEKENDS:  Same as any other day: act diplomatic, try not to let any worlds blow themselves up.

FAVOURITE SOUNDTRACK:  Malkshur's "Sonata to fire-eyes"

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT OF WHEN YOU WOKE UP THIS MORNING?:   I actually miss the blankets Samantha let me use when I visited.

DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS? :  I do not know.  Tollan  vessels come with motion-sensitive devices to remove the sensation of movement.

ROLLER COASTERS DEADLY OR EXCITING? :  I would be willing to try, I suppose.

PEN OR PENCIL? :   Pencil…it is thrilling to write like our distant ancestors did.

HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?    `Phone'?

FAVOURITE FOODS:  Oatmeal.  Well, that is what Samantha  -- and colonel o'neill – call it.

DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?    My parents are dead.  They died on Tollan.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A CRIME: Is this one of your `trick questions'?

CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? :  I do not understand.

CROUTONS OR BACON BITS? :   Could you send Samantha over with a sample of each?  I will give you my reply then.

DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE?  No.  {then again, I do not possess a license to operate stardrives}.

DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS?

IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY KIND OF PET, WHAT WOULD IT BE?   I already have Shroedinger.  I need no other pets.   {and I hold Shroedinger in trust for Samantha}.

IF YOU COULD BE ANY TYPE OF ANIMAL WHAT WOULD YOU BE? :  human.  {what? you were expecting me to say `goa'uld'?}.

THUNDERSTORMS, COOL OR SCARY ?:   Acceptible, provided there is no-out outside during the storm!

IF YOU COULD MEET ANYONE DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO WOULD IT BE?:

FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK:     I do not drink.

WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?  Is that greek?

EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?  Could you send over a sampling of that with Samantha on her next visit?

GUYS-WOULD YOU GIVE UP YOUR SHIRT FOR A GIRL?  certainly!  {and then I would seek out the one who caused Samantha to be cold or wet in the first place, and I would behave in a not-very-advanced fashion!}.

IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE?: there is something better than `Diplomat'?

IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOUR, WHAT WOULD IT BE?  why would I want to dye my hair?

IF YOU COULD HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT AND WHERE WOULD IT BE?  I  already have one….

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?    yes….though so far, it is primarily unrequited.

DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM WEDDING:  I will defer to Samantha's opinion on this.

WHAT IS ON YOUR WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?    artistry of Shroedinger and Samantha.

IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?  my father always told me `never do anything by half measures'.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SNAPPLE?   a proper Tollan gentleman never snaps at anything or anyone.

ARE YOU A RIGHTY, LEFTY OR AMBIDEXTROUS?   I eat with one hand, not the other {unless I need both hands}.

DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?  actually, Tollans use voice-recognition software….I do not know how to use Earth keyboards.

IF YOU COULD BE ONE GARDENING TOOL, WHAT WOULD YOU BE?

WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?  The floor  {our beds are directly atop the floor, no empty space}.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE NUMBER? :       2…unless you count Jolinar, which makes 3.

WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?       I will inform you when I obtain one.

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR? :      Could you send over Samantha to tell  me her favorite car type?

FAVOURITE SPORT TO WATCH:      Sink The [mother]Ship.  {teal'c plays a very good hand, I must say}.

SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU: Sharmaal.

OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU SEND THIS TO, WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND TO IT:  Colonel Maybourne.  I think he resents our policies.