The song ‘Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love For You’
is sung by Glenn Medeiros, no infringement intended.
AUTHORS NOTES: A BIG thanks to Kes and Jenn for beta'ing as well as Jenn's constant 'reminders' (ie threats!) to hurry up and write.
DEDICATION: To everyone who's sent feedback for the series so far.
~~o0o~~
Jack sighed when the debriefing finally drew to a close. It had seemed to go on forever, both Daniel and Sam had been fascinated by the planet they had just returned from and getting either of them to stop talking had been a challenge to say the least. They trudged down to the infirmary for the standard poking and prodding before heading to the showers. “You wanna go first, Sam?” Daniel asked her.
“No, it’s okay. You guys go ahead. I’m going to have a nice hot bath when I get home.”
Jack grinned, throwing an arm around her shoulders. “That sounds nice. Can I come too?”
“As long as you don’t complain that my bubble bath smells all girlie again, you’re quite welcome.”
“Sweet. Bye guys,” he said to the other two, grabbing his stuff out of his locker and following Sam out the door. He had to laugh as he heard Teal’c through the closing door. “How does a soap substance smell like a female child, Daniel Jackson?”
The ride back to Jack’s was made in relative silence, both just enjoying the fresh air and the last of the warmth from the setting sun. They dumped their stuff, grabbed a glass of wine each and headed to the bathroom where they were soon immersed in hot, bubbly water. “Ah, this is the life,” Jack sighed, leaning back against Sam.
“Mmm, I agree,” she replied, taking a sip of her wine. “We should do this more often.”
“Yeah, just don’t tell the guys at the base that I enjoy this. Lying in between the legs of a beautiful woman could be forgiven, but I’m not sure if the wine and the smelly stuff is *really* very masculine... hey!” He finished as Sam pulled his chest hair.
“You promised. No comments about my bubble bath,” she replied indignantly.
He turned around in her arms so he was facing her. Not a very comfortable position but he wasn’t about to complain, the view more than made up for it. “I’m sorry,” he replied, sounding anything but. He kissed her, quickly silencing her protests.
“That’s not fair,” she breathed when he finally let her up for air.
“Hey, if you don’t appreciate the effort...” He started to get up.
“Not so fast Flyboy,” she commanded and pulled him back down. He slipped as he lowered himself back into the water, both of them groaning and then laughing as he landed back on top of her.
“This is why we always use a bed,” Sam giggled. The giggle turned into a moan as Jack kissed her again before disappearing under the water.
****
Jack awoke as Sam tossed and turned beside him, obviously in the middle of a nightmare. “Sam, come on. Wake up,” he said as he gently shook her.
“Oh God!” She screamed as she woke, bolting upright. She felt Jack’s arms engulf her as she sobbed.
“Shh, baby, it’s okay. It was just a dream,” he soothed, rubbing her back as she slowly calmed down. “Do you wanna tell me about it?” He gently prodded. She shook her head in the negative and Jack wasn’t really surprised. She hadn’t talked about any of the dreams she’d had lately and she’d had quite a few.
He sighed in frustration. “It was Jolinar, wasn’t it?”
She pushed him away. “I said I didn’t want to talk about it!” She got out of bed and started gathering her clothes.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m going home. Where are my shoes?”
“Probably where you took them off. Come on, Sam, this is stupid, it’s two in the morning. Come back to bed.”
She ignored him, walking down the stairs to the living room where her shoes were sitting in front of the sofa. Jack hurried after her, reaching out to grasp her arm and turn her to look at him. “I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to push. I just hate seeing you upset.”
She nodded, the anger draining from her body. “I’m sorry too. I know this is frustrating you, Jack, but I can’t talk about it yet. Everything’s too screwed up. I’ve got to try to make some sense of it first.”
“It’s okay. I know you’ll tell me when you’re ready.” He gave her a soft kiss. “Go back up to bed, I’ll make us both some hot chocolate.”
She nodded, moving to walk up the stairs. Halfway up she turned. “Thanks, Jack.”
The next morning Jack was sitting in the commissary, waiting for the caffeine to kick in as he drank his coffee. Daniel walked in, grabbing a cup before sitting down next to Jack. “Hi, Jack.”
Jack looked up, he hadn’t even realised that Daniel was there. “Huh? Oh, hi, Daniel.”
“Jeez, you look like hell. How much sleep did you get last night?”
Jack shrugged. “Maybe a couple of hours.”
“You couldn’t sleep either, huh? I just had things buzzing through my head all night. I hope the General lets a team go back there.”
Jack shook his head at his friend’s enthusiasm. “I *so* wish that’s why I couldn’t sleep,” he told Daniel.
“Why? What’s going on?”
Jack sighed. “Sam had a dream last night. I’m pretty sure it had something to do with Jolinar. Anyway, it really shook her up. I couldn’t sleep for the rest of the night. I was worried that she’d have another one or she’d try to leave again.”
Daniel cocked an eyebrow. “Try to leave? Why would she do that?”
“These... memory flashes upset her, especially the dreams. This one was pretty rough and when I tried to get her to tell me about it, she freaked.” He put his cup down with a clank. “Man, I hate this. They’re getting worse and it feels like Jolinar’s trying to put this wedge between us.” He looked at his watch. “I better get going Daniel. I’ll see you later.”
It wasn’t until early evening that Daniel saw Sam. He was in his lab, going over some mission data with Jack and Teal’c, when she walked in. Daniel could see that she hadn’t been sleeping well, by the bags under her eyes and the tiredness behind their usually sparkling blue depths. She offered Daniel and Teal’c a tight smile and a hello before turning to Jack. “Can we talk?”
Jack nodded. “Yeah, sure.” He gestured to the stool next to him.
“Maybe somewhere more private?” She asked, looking quickly at the others.
“Uh, sure,” he replied, his stomach tightening. She seemed nervous, which in turn made him nervous. “My office?”
She nodded, waving to Daniel and Teal’c before heading out the door.
“So, what’s up?” Jack asked as he closed the door to his office.
“I was just talking to General Hammond. He’s given me permission to contact the Tokra.”
“Why?”
“I think I need to talk to Martouf,” she replied, not meeting his eyes.
“About your dreams,” he deduced, trying to stop the hurt from surfacing.
“Yeah.”
“The dreams you can’t talk to me about.”
“Jack...”
He sighed. “No, I’m sorry, Sam. I didn’t mean that. If it helps you sort everything out, then I have no right to be upset. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” she replied, giving him a tired smile. “Will you come topside with me? It’s supposed to be a nice night and I thought maybe we could stay up there for a while.”
He smiled, moving a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “I think that sounds like a great idea.”
They took the elevator to the surface and walked further up the mountain to a small clearing. Sam activated the device that Martouf had given them and they watched as the light shot up towards the stars. They walked over to the edge of the clearing and Jack sat down, leaning up against a rock. Sam sat down between his legs, leaning back against his chest. Jack’s arms wound around her and they both sighed.
They sat there in relative silence, just looking at the stars and enjoying the closeness. The sound of a breaking stick made them jump.
“It’s only me guys,” Daniel told them as he moved into the clearing.
“What’s up, Danny?” Jack asked him.
“Sam, your Dad just came through the ‘Gate. The General asked me to come and get you.”
“Thanks, Daniel, “ she replied, moving from Jack’s arms. She rose to her feet before helping Jack up. Then the three of them headed back into the mountain.
They found Jacob in the General’s office, in deep conversation with his old friend, George. “Hi sweetheart,” he said when he saw Sam. He took her in his arms and hugged her close before looking at Jack. “Jack, good to see you again,” he told the younger man, offering his hand.
“Good to see you too, Jacob,” Jack replied as he accepted the shake.
Jacob turned to his daughter. “George here says that you need to talk to Martouf.”
Sam nodded. “Yeah, Dad. Did he come with you?”
“No, he’s back at the Tokra camp. George has agreed to let you come back with me for a few days, if you want.”
“Yeah. I think I need to.” She heard a muttered curse and turned to see Jack walking out the door. Turning back to the two older men, she excused herself and went after him.
She found him in his quarters. “Can I come in?” She asked when he opened his door. He opened it wider, and walked back over to his bed. “Jack?”
“Shouldn’t you be packing or something?” Sam could hear the sarcasm in his voice, trying to hide the hurt.
“Jack, don’t be like that. I have to do this.”
“Why?”
“For us. I need to resolve Jolinar’s feelings for Martouf so that we can move on.”
“What if you can’t resolve them?”
She knew what he was really asking. ‘What if you don’t come back?’ She placed her hands on either side of his face. “Jack, *I* love *you*. Nothing’s going to change that. Please trust me?”
He sighed, pulling her into his arms. “I trust you, Sam.”
“But you don’t trust Jolinar’s memories, do you?”
“Sam...”
“It’s okay. I understand. Just remember, Jack, her memories don’t control me.”
“Then why are you going halfway across the galaxy?” He couldn’t help but throw at her. The moment the words were out of his mouth, he regretted saying them. He saw that they had hurt her, but she walked out the door before he could say anything else. “Yeah, good one, Jack. Why not drive her further into that snake-head’s arms?” He told himself, trying to quell the sudden urge to break something.
Sam, Jacob and General Hammond waited in the Embarkation room while the ‘Gate was dialing up. Jacob and George shared a knowing look as Sam kept glancing at the door. “He’ll be here, Sam,” her father told her. He looked across as the door slid open and Daniel, Janet and Teal’c walked in. Each hugged Sam goodbye and then Jack rushed through the door. His eyes met Sam’s and they held a silent conversation, each apologising for their part in the argument. Sam looked quickly at the General before walking into Jack’s arms.
“Come back to me,” he whispered, screwing his eyes shut as he held her close.
“I love you, Jack. You oughta know that by now.” She pulled back and smiled at her friends.
“Stay safe, Sam,” Janet told her.
With that, Sam walked up the ramp, looking back once before walking through the event horizon.
They were greeted on the other side by two Tokra, who escorted them to the transport rings. Martouf was waiting as they appeared beneath the surface, in the tunnel system. “Samantha,” he greeted with a smile. “It is good to see you.”
“It’s good to see you too,” she replied.
He looked to Jacob. “Is there a problem?”
Jacob looked to his daughter, who answered the question. “I’ve been having a lot of flashes of Jolinar’s memories. I was hoping you could help me sort through them.”
“Of course. Would you like to take a walk on the surface? There should be two full moons this evening.”
Sam smiled and nodded. They went to the surface and Sam was awe-struck at the beauty of the night sky. “Wow!” She exclaimed. “Jack would love this!” She saw the sadness cross Martouf’s face. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean...”
“No,” he interrupted her. “You have nothing to apologise for, Samantha. I am pleased that you have found happiness.”
“Thank you, Martouf.”
He turned to her. “It is getting late. Perhaps we should rest now and talk in the morning?”
“Umm, sure,” she replied, not looking forward to another night of dreams. Especially since she didn’t have Jack there beside her.
For some reason, Sam didn’t have any nightmares that night. Instead her dreams with filled with Jack and all of the sweet things he would do for her. She dreamed of the picnic he took her on for her birthday, and when they’d made love the night before. She awoke the next morning feeling refreshed and ready to have her talk with Martouf. They headed to the surface after breakfast, so they could have some privacy.
“Tell me Samantha, what has been troubling you,” Martouf questioned, once they were comfortably seated by a river.
Sam sighed before she recalled the nightmares she’d been having lately. Jolinar’s imprisonment on Netu and her long recovery after escaping, visions of a beautiful blonde woman who Jolinar despised, a wordless fight with Martouf.
“Are these the only memories you’ve had?” He asked when she had gone silent.
She shook her head. “The night before last... it was the worst. I dreamed about the death of Rosha.” She took a deep breath, willing herself to stay in control of her emotions. “I saw the whole thing... like it was me that was killed.” She looked at Martouf. “I can... sense that all these are related, but I don’t understand how.”
Martouf sighed. He had hoped that Samantha would never gain access to the last of Jolinar’s memories, but he knew that he had to help her understand them and just hope that she forgave him. “There is something that I never told you. Something I hoped you would never recall.”
“What is it?” Sam asked, her eyes growing large as she thought of the possibilities.
“It is about when Jolinar was imprisoned on Netu and her last days with the Tokra.”
Sam looked at him blankly. Suddenly an image sprang into her mind and she couldn’t stop the tears from welling. “You... you were seeing someone else,” she whispered. The emotions that Jolinar felt were rushing over her.
Martouf bowed his head. “It was a cowardly thing to do, I know. You must understand, Jolinar was on Netu. No one had ever escaped.”
“And you gave up on her. Just like that.”
“She was there for months. I was grieving, but Anise helped me through.”
“I can’t believe it,” Sam breathed. “Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
He sighed. “I could feel Jolinar in you, Samantha. Jolinar, without the pain of my betrayal. I thought that, by not telling you, I may just keep a small bit of my relationship with her. What we had before I betrayed her.”
Sam closed her eyes, trying to control the emotions that Jolinar had left within her. Once she felt more in control, she opened her eyes and looked at Martouf. “So why am I only getting these memories now?”
“Perhaps because of your relationship with Colonel O’Neill.”
“What? Jolinar’s memories are trying to tell me that all men are bastards?” She chuckled slightly at the thought.
“Perhaps, subconsciously, you feel that O’Neill is capable of such things?”
Sam thought about Jack’s stay on Edora and his subsequent promise to never give up on her again. “No. I don’t. Not anymore,” she replied emphatically.
“I am sorry Samantha. I just wish I could have had more time with Jolinar. There was so much that I wanted to tell her. I only loved her. I never had any feelings for Anise. She was simply there.”
Sam shook her head. “I’m sorry Martouf. I don’t think I can hear any more, not right now. Jolinar’s feelings are too fresh at the moment. I need some time to get them in perspective. I’m sorry.” She got up and headed for the two guards who took her back to the tunnels.
As she got her senses back, following the dizzying ride through the transport rings, she saw her father walk towards her.
“Find out what you needed to know?” He asked casually.
“Um, yeah,” she replied.
He smiled warmly at her. “You ready to go home?”
“Yeah,” she told him. “More than ready.”
“Are you and Jack going to be okay? He didn’t seem too thrilled about you coming here.”
She gave a small smile. “We’ll be fine.”
Her dad escorted her to the Stargate, where she dialed in Earth’s address and sent her GDO code. She turned to hug her father, catching sight of Martouf standing a respectful distance away. “Look after him, Dad. He’s hurting.”
“I will Sammy. You look after yourself too.” He pulled her into a hug. “I love you, Sam.”
“I love you too, Dad.” She turned and walked up the steps and through the event horizon.
Jack heard the klaxons sounding and instinctively knew it was Sam returning. By the time he got to the embarkation room, she had already come through and the ‘Gate had disengaged. Sam was being greeted by the General but they both turned as he ran into the room. “Sam! You’re back!” He was aware that he must have had the biggest grin on his face, but he really didn’t care.
“How very observant of you, Colonel,” she replied with a cheeky grin. She walked over to him and threw her arms around him, kissing him soundly.
The General smiled at them both. “Why don’t you two take the rest of today and tomorrow off? SG-1 isn’t due to go off-world for a few days and no doubt you both have things to talk about.”
“Thank you sir,” they chorused before walking out of the Embarkation room hand in hand.
The General simply shook his head, chuckling at them.
Much later, after having gone home and made love more than once, Sam and Jack were cuddled together in bed, both sated and tired. “Sam?” He asked, running his fingers down her back.
“Mmm,” she replied, almost asleep.
“Move in with me?”
Sam’s eyes snapped open. “What?”
“I asked you to move in with me.”
“Why?”
He chuckled. “What do you mean, ‘why?’”
He saw that she was waiting for an answer. “I want to be there when you wake up in the morning.”
“You already are, and it’s because I want to be there with you, not because I’ve got nowhere else to go.”
“Don’t you want to move in with me?” He asked, his voice betraying his hurt.
“Hey, I never said that. I’m just trying to understand your reasoning. I know you’re a little uncomfortable when Martouf and I talk about Jolinar...”
“Sam, I’m not asking because I’m feeling threatened by Marty. I know you want to be with me, Marty knows you want to be with me. That’s got nothing to do with it.”
She looked at him for a few moments. “You weren’t so sure when I left.”
He sighed. “I admit, I was a little upset that you were going halfway across the galaxy to talk to some guy, when you wouldn’t talk to me. Then I thought about it and realised that it was something that needed to be hashed out between you and Marty. It had nothing to do with me or us.”
“He was having an affair,” Sam blurted out.
Jack stared at her for a second. “Martouf was?”
She nodded. “When Jolinar was on Netu. She didn’t find out until just before she left on her last mission. It tore her apart. She couldn’t concentrate properly and as a result Rosha was killed and Cronus sent the Ashrak after her. You know the rest.” She saw Jack’s face harden and immediately knew what he was thinking. “Jack, it wasn’t Martouf’s fault that I was blended. Besides, if I hadn’t been host to Jolinar, then we wouldn’t have gained one of our biggest allies and Dad would have died of cancer. Not to mention all the other things we’ve used Jolinar’s memories for.”
He kissed her, rolling until he could feel her naked body beneath him. “You’re an amazing woman, you know that?” He gave her another sweet kiss. “Now, back to my original question. Will you move in with me?”
He could still see the doubt flickering in her eyes and tried to convince her. “We’ve been doing this whole relationship thing for a few months now. I just think moving in together is the logical next step.”
Sam grinned. “Jack O’Neill being logical? Well I never.”
“Sam...” he began, exasperated.
“Okay,” she interrupted.
“Okay? Okay, Jack, shut up now? Or okay, Jack, I’ll move in with you?”
“Well, both actually.”
“Really? Sweet.”
“Oh shut up and kiss me already!”
“Yes ma’am,” he replied, before his lips met hers.
*****
If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long
With you I see forever oh, so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong
Our dreams are young and we both know
They'll take us where we want to go
Hold me now
Touch me now
I don't want to live without you
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing's gonna change my love for you.
If the road ahead is not so easy
Our love will lead the way for us
Like a guiding star
I'll be there for you if you should need me
You don't have to change a thing
I love you just the way you are
So come with me and share the view
I'll help you see forever too
Hold me now
Touch me now
I don't want to live without you
*****