Isn't it funny how things turn out?
Way back when, I would have sworn that Simon and I would have ended up together, but things just happen in this `verse. Somehow, he ended up in Mal's bed, and his sister in mine.
It was a strange moment, when I realized that I was in love with the beautiful River. Brilliant, bright genius girl, with such haunted eyes. For weeks I would just stare and babble, like I always do, and one night, I woke up to find her curled next to me. Almost like a kid. Not quite, though.
It's not just sex. I know Jayne looks at us with those looks he has, and Book has that way too serious preachy look going on. Inara, Zoe and Wash have a glaze of pity in their eyes, while Simon looks jumpy. Well, jumpier than usual. Mal just looks worried, like his ship is going to fall out of the sky. But there's talking, too.
`Course, it don't always make sense.
We're lying there, entwined, my hand warm against her hip, her dark head tucked under my chin. I sigh.
"What do you want?" Her voice is muffled, but the intent is focused. I have to think a bit. Think beyond this moment, beyond what I have now.
"I want it all. I want everything you have to give me."
"Well, you're not going to get it," River turns, pain in her eyes. "They got most of me. Not much left for you." I pull her tighter, and she quietly weeps against me.
"Shush, baobei. I'll take care of you." And, how it hurts me to see her in pain, and how it worries me that I won't be able to keep my promises. About all I can do is keep Serenity flying, keep all of us far away from them, whoever they are. I know Mal will protect both of us, if for no other reason than keeping his crew safe, but I wish I could do more.
She's muttering now, "Emotion... moving out... away from self. Words are too solid. Not liquid, like me."
"Yes, beautiful," and I'm holding her tighter, stroking her soft skin, calming her, trying to calm myself, too.
River stays next to me, I kiss her hair slowly and gently. I have both my girls where I want them. I just hope I can keep `em both safe.