Simon came awake suddenly, disoriented. Then, a sudden heady rush of realization. He had spent the night in the Captain's ... no, Mal's ... bunk, they had talked on the deck, kissed, climbed into the bunk, and had sex.
Well, maybe not just sex. There was that whole overwhelming, falling sensation. He had to admit, it felt surprisingly good to lose control that completely. And, frankly, Mal was really good at the whole taking over part. Simon felt himself getting aroused again.
He closed his eyes. Unbelievable. Although he wanted nothing more than to stay wrapped in these strong arms for the next few hours, he knew he had to get away, before the day started for everyone else. He wasn't sure he wanted to deal with any questions or recriminations right now.
Slipping out of Mal's arms was easy, but waking him up? Simon decided to let the captain sleep. The man could probably use it, even asleep, he looked exhausted. Simon found his pants, smiled, and brushed his lips across his lover's forehead. Mal didn't even change his breathing.
As he turned at the top of the ladder, he froze. It was later than he thought. Kaylee and Jayne were both standing in the entrance to the galley, the expressions on their faces clear. Jayne, of course, was leering, but Kaylee? Her's was a study in shock, hurt, and pain. Simon felt like he had been punched in the gut. Hell, he felt like he deserved it, too, especially when Kaylee turned and walked away, tears evident in the hitch of her step. Simon almost followed her, when the mercenary got in the way.
"Did'ja sleep good, doc?" Jayne's voice had all sorts of lascivious undertones and overtones, as he deliberately walked into Simon, his broad shoulders knocking the smaller man off the middle of the passageway.
Giving Jayne his best glare, Simon dodged around him and practically ran down to his room to clean up a bit, and then searched out Kaylee. She was, as he suspected, hiding in the engine room.
"Kaylee?" he whispered, tentatively, unsure of her reaction.
"Go `way." It was mumbled, and seemed to come from the floor. Simon crept in closer.
"Kaylee, I need to talk to you."
Her face slid out from under the slowly rotating engine. It was streaked in red and black, eyes all swollen, but hard in their anger. "Seems to me you should have talked to me a lot earlier."
Simon knelt down to her level. "I'm sorry. I had ... I didn't know ... really." He fumbled the words out.
Her eyes softened a bit, "Didn't know you were sly? How come not?"
"I'm not ... exactly ... ," What was it about this life that made him lose his ability to form a complete sentence? "I mean, I thought I wanted you."
"And?" The flinty look was back.
"Well, I've been with girls, just, you know, guys, too." He felt the flush all the way to his hairline, and bowed his head to hide it.
She sat up gracefully, completely at home in her element. "Confused? That happens to a lot of people." When Simon glanced up, he saw a glaze of pity in her eyes.
"Gorramit, Kaylee, I don't want you to feel sorry for me!" He lashed out. "You should be furious, I led you on, I should have told ..."
Kaylee stopped his tirade by simply placing her hand on his mouth. "All right! Yes, you should have told me, yes, I'm mad," she shrugged her shoulders. "But you didn't lead me anyplace I weren't wantin' to go."
"But ...," Simon pulled her hand down, and held it tightly.
"But nothing." Kaylee squeezed back, a wry look forming on her face. "`Least now I know why you couldn't seem to make up your mind about me."
Simon sputtered for a moment, feeling the heat on his face again, then took a deep breath. "But, Mal ... Kaylee, he overwhelmed me. No, that's not right. He was just so ... intense."
"Yeah. There's just so much Mal, you know?" She sat down beside him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. Simon appreciated the friendly warmth.
"Yes." He paused, and a realization hit. "Kaylee, I think I'm scared."
"Aw, don't be. Cap's a nice man." She twisted her head a bit. "And a lucky bastard, too," she muttered, mostly to herself.
"Tianna, Kaylee ... what am I going to do?" Simon leaned his head on her shoulder. She sighed, and pulled him even closer, and they just sat there.
Each wrapped in their own pain, leaning against each other, neither Simon nor Kaylee noticed the shadow that appeared by the door, not even when it stalked away.