"Hell of a party." Mal slurred as he stumbled down the foredeck. He leaned against the bulkhead, trying to regain his balance. "Hell of a party," he reiterated. Everyone else had long since crashed, heading towards their respective bunks.
Mal sighed. Kaylee's "wine" tended to make him maudlin. Somehow, he didn't feel like going to his bunk alone. Seemed cold, somehow. Kaylee had talked Inara into throwing a slumber party for her and River in the companion's shuttle, Simon and Book had gone off discussing... books or some such, and Zoe and Wash! Bless the thousand little Buddhas, they had been crawling all over each other as soon as they left the party, whispering in each other's ears.
Which left Jayne.
Which was insane, Mal knew. The fact that he was even considering letting himself into Jayne's bunk was beyond the pale.
Whoops.
Where did that thought come from?
Mal was sure Simon would have the answer to that one, as well as the answer as to why he was punching in the override codes to Jayne's bunk. Or maybe not. Or maybe it didn't matter, as he was sliding down the ladder, and holding onto the edges for dear life. Since when did the bunks spin?
Stupid, stupid, stupid man. Good party, though, shiny ruttin' wine.
Jayne hadn't moved. This was odd. Mal wasn't paying the merc to lay about. He had to do something about that. Carefully placing his feet one in front of the other, he slowly made his way to the bed.
"Jayne!" he hoarsely whispered. Jayne grunted. Mal grinned. It was kinda cute, in a big, scary, dumb man way. "Jayne!" he hissed again, touching the nearest shoulder lightly.
Biiiiiiiig mistake.
Mal found himself pinned to the floor, flat on his back, struggling to breathe as Jayne's very large and very heavy forearm crossed his neck. Stupid, drunk man, forgot how quick Jayne had to be. Strong, too. Mal managed a weak smile, "Evenin', Jayne."
"What the ruttin' hell, Mal?" Confused, Jayne let up on the arm-across-the-neck thing, for which Mal was grateful, but didn't move from his position straddling Mal's groin. Mal felt … stirrings.
Yep, definitely stirrings.
"Just checkin' up on things, Jayne." Mal thought that sounded plausible. Especially if Jayne had been drinking, which Mal was pretty sure had been occurring. Jayne didn't seem as drunk as Mal did, though. Which was logical, when he thought about it. Jayne was a big man.
Mal wondered how big, exactly.
He closed his eyes. This was not supposed to happen. Well, maybe not exactly this way. But those… stirrings… were getting stronger by the minute. That plus the booze? Mal was sure his judgment was currently residing somewhere south of his brain.
Not that there was any real direction in space. River would have something to say about that, he was sure.
And that errant thought prompted a very real giggle. Which in turn prompted a shocked glance from Jayne, which caused the big man to shift ever so slightly.
Which, of course, prompted Mal to moan, just the tiniest bit. Jayne's eyes widened even more.
"Mal?" he asked.
"Jayne," Mal managed to squeeze out past the booze and blood flowing in random directions, "Do your captain a favor, and fuck me."
Jayne rolled off of Mal, stunned and stumbling. "Gorram it, Mal. Don't play no games with me."
Mal pushed himself onto his elbows. "Ain't no game, Jayne." He sighed, as he tried to put into words what he wanted. "Just looking for… " Made, why bother with words anyway? This was Jayne, he was talking to. Mal pulled himself to his knees (gorram hard deck plates) and attached his mouth to Jayne's.
"No commitments, no games, no nothin', Jayne. Just a fuck between friends," Mal said against Jayne’s lips.
Jayne groaned, and grabbed Mal by the shoulders, and tried to push him away, to no avail. Mal was stuck on him like a limpet. "Mal…" he managed. "Kissing?" he reminded.
"Damnit, Jayne, kiss your captain," Mal growled, forcing the other man’s mouth open with a well placed thumb on his jawbone, and tried sticking his tongue down Jayne's throat.
Jayne's body was rock hard in all the right places, Mal was pleased to discover. The beard was a bit scratchy, though. Mal decided he liked that, especially in contrast with the soft, yet insistent tongue wrapping around his.
Mal groaned, and pushed away. "Clothes gotta come off," he ordered. Jayne, still a bit poleaxed, managed to smirk as he yanked his t-shirt over his head, and thumbed his sleeping shorts down.
For a good long minute, Mal just stared. Man kept himself in right good shape, he thought, plus that cock? His brain short-circuited for a moment, just imagining the feel of that cock entering him so slowly…
"Mal," Jayne's voice broke through his lust-filled reverie. "I ain't gonna be the only naked party here, am I? Cause to my mind, that ain't so much of a party."
Shaking his head, Mal broke through the fog. "Nah, just admiring the merchandise." He somehow managed to leer at Jayne, even as he dropped his suspenders off his shoulders, and began unbuttoning his shirt.
When he finally extricated himself from his pants, Mal looked up at Jayne's smirking face. "Commando, huh?"
Mal just rolled his eyes in response to Jayne’s comment. Why was everyone on this gorram boat so concerned with what he wore under his pants? "Are you done laughing, or should I just leave?"
Jayne was instantly contrite. "Don't mean nothin' by that, was just curious."
"Long as you're ready to fuck me, I think I can forgive you." Mal crawled onto the bed on hands and knees. "Now, it's been a good long time since I done this, so you'll need to go slow."
The merc rummaged in the bedside table, before assuming his place behind Mal. "Would've pegged ya' for a romancin' type fella," he grunted as he rubbed his finger down the crack of Mal's ass.
Mal shivered, and pressed back slightly. "When I want romance, I'll let you know, Jayne." The tip of the big finger edged ever so slightly in, and Mal hissed. "Gonna lube that thing up any?"
Jayne moved his hand back, and when Mal turned to see what was happening, Jayne was squeezing some viscous goop onto his finger. "Just testin' the waters, so to speak."
This time, the finger was cold, and Mal hissed again, even though it slid almost easily in. The hiss changed to a drawn-out moan, as Jayne began probing roughly in and out.
Jayne started muttering, "Look at that ass, just openin' up for my finger, can't wait to push my cock in there." Mal wasn't surprised that Jayne was a talker, but he was surprised when he began to respond in kind.
"Yeah, Jayne, fuck me with your fingers, stretch me good for your big, hard cock." Mal pushed back hard, and heard Jayne chuckle as he added a second finger.
Mal dropped his shoulders and head to the mattress. The sensation of strong fingers in his ass blended with the Jayne-scent that clung to the blankets under him. Jayne's muttering of dirty words filled his ears, and he could still taste Jayne's tongue in his mouth. Mal closed his eyes under the sensory onslaught.
When he was pushing back onto the third finger, Jayne withdrew his hand, and Mal tensed the tiniest bit in anticipation. As the blunt head of Jayne's cock introduced itself to his opening, he forced a sigh out, and convinced his body to relax.
And then, Jayne was pushing in, slow and burning and good. Mal bit the sheets that he found in his mouth. God. Why had he waited so long to do this? And then Jayne was seated fully, and oh, he felt so full…
Mal was panting, when Jayne asked, in a strained voice, "You okay, there, Mal?"
"Just move, Jayne," Mal gritted out, and gasped, when Jayne followed his order.
Every thrust Jayne made was backed by all the muscle the man had. Mal found himself sliding inexorably to the edge of the bed, and grabbed onto the edges.
"Yeah, yeah, tight… that's it." Jayne was pounding into Mal, still mumbling, and Mal was in agony. He felt his cock leaking, but he couldn't get any friction. If he let go of the bed, he would crash to the floor, but he couldn't force any coherent words out of his throat. All he wanted…
"I bet you just want me to touch your cock, Mal. Just wrap my big, thick hand around it, so you can fuck yourself until you come all over my bed." Jayne suited actions to words, and Mal moaned in ecstasy. He didn't even need to move much, Jayne was pushing his body so hard.
Mal was so worked up, his climax came upon him quickly, twisting through his belly and boiling through his cock before spilling over Jayne's hand. His body contracted around Jayne's cock, and he felt, rather than heard, Jayne's fall.
They stayed motionless for a good long minute, then Jayne pulled out slowly, as Mal hissed. He felt a bit torn up, but not badly, and was feeling much more relaxed than he had earlier in the evening. Jayne collapsed to the side, and Mal just let his knees slide down, and fell face down on the bed.
"Mal?" Jayne asked, hesitantly.
"Yeah, Jayne?" Mal felt vaguely annoyed. He really didn't feel like thinking at the moment.
"How drunk are you?"
Interesting point. "Why do you ask, Jayne?" Mal glanced over, and Jayne was rubbing his neck.
"Well, I don't figger you for crawling into my bunk and just asking for a fuck on a ordinary night."
Mal thought a bit. "Well, tonight weren't rightly an ordinary night. But I ain't sorry."
Jayne persisted a bit more. "But are you drunk?"
"Not since you knocked me to the floor and tried cuttin' off my air supply." Mal realized. That was a bit of a shock.
To Jayne, too, it seemed. "Oh." was all he could manage. "Ya' wanna spend the night, mebee do this again later?"
Mal just looked at Jayne. "Not unless I get to top you," he stated, seriously. "Kinda got tore up a bit, there, big man."
Jayne considered briefly, and answered, "Okay," and rolled over to spoon against Mal. Although startled, he decided not to protest. It was warmer, after all.
The two of them were dozing comfortably, when the hatch rumbled open. Mal startled awake, and nudged Jayne. They lay absolutely still as a figure dropped to the deck.
A hesitant voice, hazy with sleep, whispered, "Jayne?" Mal felt his eyebrows lift in astonishment and speculation. What was Simon doing here, and what could they possibly do with him?