Then in July of 2003 I had an idea. I covered myself in honey and ran through Bear Park USA naked. I then decided to create the alter-ego Spasm. My real name is Shane Bellamy-Mannell. I created the cocky, arrogant bastard and let my creative juices run wild on the internet. Howver, I got arrested for that, and was forced to pay for mental anguish. I then started writing columns.
These columns were just a means for me to vent my anger, and to provide low-cost humour to the world. However, the site needed an edge. So I created Terros. Terros is the good-guy, Spasm is the bad-guy. And the prospect of hearing these two bicker brought along thousands of visitors. Well, three, but it was a start. From there I created a Forum and started expanding. The forums went great, with two factions fighting in there from the safety of their computer chairs. The Spasmites and the Impaler Patrol. The fight was going great, the site was going great and my work was done.
Then came the day...
While under the persona of Spasm one of the forum members decided to attack me in a Roleplaying Duel. Me, being the cunning wordsmith I is being, know words good. And I assumed he had learnt his lesson. However, in my short leave where I left to contemplate, write new columns and star in amateur pornography the Spasmites decided to leave Spasm. They thought he wasn't being a good enough ruler, and jumped ship. This was bad news for some, as they couldn't swim. So after floundering around in the water they eventually washed up on Terros Island.
Spasm was left alone, angry at the posters. So he struck back. First, he changed all the words in the forums so you couldn't type a sentence without it having *SPASM IS LORD* in it. This did not go down too well.
So I, as Spasm, did the only logical thing a person could do in my situation.
I killed Terros.
So the site you are now more than likely being tied up and forced to read is the brain child of Spasm, a rotting wasteland filled with sarcasm, profanity and verbal abuse. This site is now dripping with my evil nature, and the sadistic columns show this. But, enough about this, what about Shane?
I was born in 1984. And I can finish Silent Hill in 1:25:00...
... Uh, that's about it really. Sorry. I am a poor actor and a struggling writer, but my home porn industry is thriving. I am a strange little man and live in New Zealand. My interests are solely of nerdish leanings, Monty Python, Wrestling and quoting Simpsons. I like to do strange things to my hair, and in my spare time I search the internet reading everying single opinion column I can find. I like loud techno music and suffer from an ear disorder. I loathe cell phones and American sitcoms. I buy all my clothes from Op-Shops and I can tell the future by looking at my watch. I write complete crap and hypnotise my friends into finding it funny. And then I steal their wallets.
So go and check out the site. The Forums are bustling with life (HA!) and I update whenever I get a good idea.
Now go forth, and SPASM!!! Now, I would add some links to places that allow you to vote for me, but the cheap fucks don't like Geocities. Those cheap fucks. And their cheap fucks. So below are the sites with enough balls to link to me. I LOVE YOU!!! And in a sick and twisted way, of course...
Screw the rest of the Topsites that won't link to me... I'll have to spread the word via LOTS AND LOTS OF FORWARD SPAM E-MAILS!!!! GWAHAHA!!!!!
if you have an idea for a site that will link to me, or want to link to me, contact me at rat2k1@hotmail.com and we'll do lunch.