["She Bangs" by Ricky Martin blares over the speakers as red, white, and blue fire works soar through the air, pyro pots exploding. The fans stand to their feet as the curtains part, revealing "American Beauty" Ashlyn Summers. The sleek, curvy beauty wears a wears a white, sports bra, decorated with a sprinkling of red and blue stars. She also wears a pair of white, low-riding, hip huggers, blue stars going down one leg and red stars going down the other. She completes the look with white, vinyl, wrestling boots. Her long, auburn hair falls down her back in a cascade of silky crimps, framing her gorgeous face. In her hands are a bouquet of red roses, one of the AWP Can-Am Tag Titles draped over her right arm.]

AM: First, from Malibu, California... weighing in at one-hundred and thirty pounds ... one-half of the Can-Am tag champions ... "AMERICAN BEAUTY" ASHHHHHHHHHLYYYYYYNNNNNNN SUUUUUUUUMMMMMEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRSSSSS!

[The African-American beauty pauses to pose for a second, atop the entrance ramp, before gracefully walking to ringside, slapping hands with the cheering fans and tossing them roses. As she enters the ring, Ashlyn is immediately showered in catcalls and wolf whistles from the adoring, male fans. With a radiant smile, she raises the championship belt aloft, in the center of the ring, drawing more cheers. Ashlyn waves to the crowd and awaits the start of the match.

"She Bangs" fades out and "I Thought This Was America People" is heard over the PA System in the distinct voice of Jay Z. "Conspiracy, Conspiracy, Conspiracy" is then heard in a whispering tone of a female. This begins "Guilty Until Proven Innocent" as Jonathan Conspiracy makes his way out from the back with a nice pop from the crowd.]

AM: And her partner... from Brooklyn, New York... weighing in at two hundred eight pounds... the other half of the Can-Am tag team champions... JONAAAAATHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAN CONNNNNNNNSPIIIIIIIIRRRAAAAAAACCCCCCCYYYYYYY!

[He walks down the aisle and pulls on the middle rope giving him enough force to hop onto the apron, he then turns to face the crowd before turning his attention back to the ring and slingshot front flips himself into the ring and runs and leaps onto the middle rope in the far right corner opposite the aisle and stares out into the crowd before dropping off and resting against the turnbuckle waiting for the match to begin.]

VR: Woo! Look at that brown sugar!

CB: Are you speaking of Ashlyn or Conspiracy?

VR: ASHLYN! ASHLYN, GOD DAMMIT!

AM: And their opponents... "The Sniper" Jakk Silver... "The Future" Stephen Fury... THE BLUUUUUUUUUUE CHIPPPPPPSSSS!

[The first few notes of "Tuesday's Gone" by Lynyrd Skynyrd plays over the P.A...the lights dim and a spotlight shines on the curtain...as the guitar changes "The Future" Stephen Fury emerges thru the curtain...3 steps behind him is "The Sniper" Jakk Silver.

# Train roll on, on down the line # # Won't you please take me far away? # # Now I feel the wind blow outside my door # # Means I'm leaving my woman behind. #

...Stephen absorbs the jeers and makes his way down the aisle...

# Tuesday's gone with the wind. # # My woman's gone with the wind. #

...Stephen walks around the ring, which is now emersed in a dark blue light..."The Future" then slides under the bottom rope and stands in the center of the ring...

# And I don't know where I'm going. # # I just want to be left alone. # # Well, when this train ends I'll try again# # But I'm leaving my woman at home. #

...as the chorus begins two spotlights from opposite sides if the ring shine down on "The Future" Stephen Fury...

# Tuesday's gone with the wind. # # Tuesday's gone with the wind. # # Tuesday's gone with the wind. # # My woman's gone with the wind. #

...Jakk begins jawing with the crowd over not cheering for his partner...the lights brighten and Stephen calms Jakk down...Stephen goes to his corner and stretches...]

[DING, DING, DING]

CB: AND HERE WE GO! Summers and Conspiracy just clothes-lined _both_ of the Blue Chips! Silver and Fury are down! Fury just slid out of the ring and Conspiracy just dropkicked Jakk Fury over the ropes!

VR: You know, what the Hell is with wrestlers spelling their names wrong on purpose? You know, like "Jacen"... and "Jakk"?

CB: They're supposed to be "futuristic" names, I suppose.

VR: Futuristic as in Tekno Team 2000?

[~!]

VR: Ew.

[As the Blue Chips are plotting on the outside, Ashlyn Summers and Jonathan Conspiracy are pumping up the crowd, trying to give the Silver and Fury a hard time.]

CB: It looks like Fury and Silver are stepping out for a minute to rethink their plan. I, uh, don't think they expected Summers to take them out like that.

VR: Yeah. She literally wears the pants in that little relationship with Conspiracy, too.

CB: Oh, God.

[Summers gets into her corner, while Silver gets into his. Conspiracy and Fury now officially start off the match as they begin with a collar-and-elbow tie-up.]

CB: Conspiracy now backing Fury into the corner --

[SMACKKKKKKKK~!

"WHOOOOOOO!"]

CB: KNIFFEEDGE CHOP~!

[SMAAAAAAAACK~!

"WHOOOOOOOO!"]

CB: Look at those welts on Stephen Fury's chest!

VR: [sarcasm] Yeah, no kidding! Sheesh.

CB: Conspiracy sends Fury to the other corner -- NO! Reversal by Fury! Conspiracy bounces off the turnbuckles -- HIP TOSS~!

[BOO! But those "boos" become cheers as Conspiracy responds with a hip toss of his own!]

CB: Hip toss by Conspiracy -- AND ANOTHER! This time, he locks on an armdrag! Tag in to Ashlyn Summers!

[POP! for Summers! Conspiracy keeps the armbar on Fury as Summers leaps off the second turnbuckle with an elbow onto Fury's arm!]

CB: Some double-teaming by Conspiracy and Summers!

VR: I wonder if --

CB: Don't start.

VR: Okay.

[Suddenly, as Summers is pounding on Fury, Jakk Silver has had enough as he charges into the ring and clotheslines Summers out of her boots! HEEL POP!]

CB: WHAT THE HELL! THAT'S A WOMAN, GOD DAMN IT!

VR: Obviously! And Silver is stomping the crap out of her, along with Fury!

CB: Wait a minute -- Jonathan Conspiracy on the top rope -- CROSS BODY ONTO _BOTH_ FURY AND SILVER!

[POP~!]

CB: Silver's up -- CO-CONSPIRATOR ON SILVER~!

VR: BOO-YAH!

CB: _Summer's_ up! BEAUTY MARK! BEAUTY MARK! SHE GOT STEPHEN FURY WITH THE BEAUTY MARK~!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

[DING, DING, DING!

The crowd pops as "She Bangs" by Ricky Martin begins playing again.]

AM: The winner of the match... and _still_ Canadian-American tag team champions... ASHLYN SUMMERS AND JONATHAN CONSPIRAAAACCCCYYYY~!

[The Blue Chips clear the ring as Conspiracy and Summers celebrate their victory to a nice, ample pop from the crowd.]

CB: What a victory for --

[Suddenly, Conspiracy grabs Summers and _kisses_ her! HUGE "YOU LUCKY BASTARD" POP!]

VR: HEY! WHAT?!? THAT IS SO NOT FAIR!

CB: Some guys get all the luck. Summers and Conspiracy with a little victory celebration. Right now let go to Riptide Maddox once again.