TWO LESBIANS IN COLUMBUS

Two lesbians in Columbus.
Aren't you glad they're not among us.
I'd rather have a fungus.
Does that make me a dingus?
Won't even be switch hitters.
I guess I sound a little bitter.
Hate it when they point and snicker;
makes me shrivel up and wither.
Two lesbians in Columbus.
Aren't you glad they're not among us.
Two lesbians in Columbus.
Two lesbians in Columbus, hey!

Two lesbians in Columbus.
Taking all the women from us.
They are not perky gymnasts.
They're not some angry fem'nists.
They're hip and mod and smashing,
but they've only got a passion,
for each others' backside.
There's one thing on the upside.
Givin' guys the fantasy- hey.
Joining them to make a three-way.
We know it ain't gonna happen.
They're the only ones who'll be a-strappin.
Two lesbians in Columbus.
They do not want to join us.
Two lesbians in Columbus.
Two lesbians in Columbus, hey!

Two lesbians in Columbus.
Don't understand just what the thought does,
to my battered, fragile psyche.
A chick who don't want Whitee.
If you see dressed real butch then,
you can look but can't touch them.
Even though the thought does tease ya.
Doin' your eighth grade gym teacher.
Feel like you're stuck in quicksand.
Pyning for a chick who would gag
by the thought of your big member
in the place where the sun forgets her.
Two lesbians in Columbus.
Don't want your big John Thomas.
Two lesbians in Columbus.
Two lesbians in Columbus.
Two lesbians in Columbus, hey!
Two lesbians in Columbus.
Their indiffence tends to numb us.
Yeah, they look good in sweaters,
dude, get your shit together.
You think that two inches of Jewish steel,
would give them mad, straight zeal.
Why would they want to jump us,
they think that you're an anus.
Two lesbians in Columbus.
They will not take the onus.
Two lesbians in Columbus.
Two lesbians in Columbus.
Two lesbians in Columbus.
Two lesbians in Columbus.
© 1997, 2001 Smegma Records

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