There's Jimmy-Boy, he's a regular here
He works for the man -yeah, that's his career.
Can't wait for quittin time, to get down to the pub.
I pour his favorite as he says to his buds.

Just one more and I'll start flapjackin'
The ladies will love me and tonight I'll be taxin'
That ass - because I'm big daddy mackin'
And the ladies will love me when I am flapjackin.

Jimmy spies a lady at the end of the bar.
He orders a beer with a whiskey side car.
Turns to his mates and gathers them 'round.
Then starts to tell them what he's putting down:

[He says]
Ahoy me hardies - I'm off to flapjackin
I found my next victim and she's got a rack and
Blue eyes - my fellas - I will not be back until
She's become mine from all my flapjackin.

Slides down the bar, to dive for his pearl.
She's sitting there with the rest of the girls.
He says, "My name's James, but my friends call me Jimmy,
And if you've got a man, well then where the hell is he?

Oh Jimmy - master of flapjackin'
You start with a bang and keep the whip crackin,
Until she becomes your next - snack pack and
We'll all bow down to Jimmy's flapjackin.

Jimbo makes light of his 92 Olds
And brags about the size of his portfolio.
Jim buys her another - and another - and then
Just for good measure he buys one again.

His name is Jimmy - and he is flapjackin'
His speech is all slurred but she knows what he's askin
With such verbal message - doesn't matter what he's packin
Because his name is Jimmy, the King of Flapjackin.

Jimmy's new girl gets up - to powder her nose.
And he doesn't notice, just where she goes.
She took her belongings and snuck out the door,
I say, this ones on me. And I start to pour.

Hey Jimmy, I heard you flapjackin'
To the lady with blue eyes and hair that was flaxen.
Yeah I'd say that girl was lip smackin'
She must've been crazy not to go for flapjackin.

But hey there Jimmy, stop your flapjackin'
That last chick's guy threatened to bust a cap in
Your ass, my friend. Then you would be scratchin
Your final game piece from all your flapjackin.

Come on, Jimmy - no more flapjackin'
Compose yourself just like old Charlie Chaplin
Those tired-ass lines - not worthy of skank and
Come drink with the boys instead of flapjackin'
Those tired-ass lines - not worthy of skank and
Come drink with the boys instead of flapjackin'

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