Get your own Free Home PageLadies always say they like a sense of humor.
On a man, broad shoulders make them shimmy and shiver.
Like kids and be sensitive is a frequent tip
that Cosmo gives to guys who wonder how to get
the girl of their dreams, but that's not the answer
to the question of how to get your own tiny dancer.
The way to get the ladies to jump in your bed;
it's not what you say, it's a big ruddy head.
Pro-Keds, two-sheds, follow the Dead.
The only thing in life that beats a big ruddy head;
is to rile, awhile, with a vertical smile.
A real woman will only stand and yell, "Heil!"
To the head, you dred, that big ruddy head.
Look out, here it comes, it's a big ruddy head.
You think you're smooth, dude, but you ain't got a clue.
Get outta my way before you're caught up in my sweet groove.
I'm not a screamer, a dreamer, an Oscar Meyer weiner.
I guess you could call me a non-dairy creamer.
It's not like I'm trollin, lookin for your mother.
But if I meet up with her, she better run for cover.
Mama can put up resistance,but it's no use fightin the urgance
that she'll feel when she sees what's ahead.
It's what all men fear, a big ruddy head.
A-Zmed, nose-led, valentine bed,
The only thing in life that beats a big ruddy head;
is to file, denial, she's Whitee's love child.
A real woman will only lay down and yell, "Heil!"
To the head, the head, that big ruddy head.
Ragin' on the stage, it's a big ruddy head.
Can be born with a head that's heavy on the ruddinss,
and never have to be labeled with that of fugliness.
Or you can take steps to improve your condition.
Change the status of your head of your own volition.
Mix the following ingredients and make a big stew,
then dip in your head and let it marinade a few
hours, and let it give you the power,
like my new friend Leroy or my old one, Gary Bower.
Just wed, full-bred, Right Said Fred.
The only thing in life that beats a big ruddy head;
is go wild, til theres piles, on the bathroom tile.
A real woman will only bend and yell, "Heil!"
To the head, the head, that big ruddy head.
Sneakin up behind ya, it's a big ruddy head.
You need molasses, a quart, it really kicks asses.
And a pound of weed, if you know what I mean.
You need beer, no, it's not for the stew.
It's for drinkin while your mixin your ruddy head goo.
The most imortant thing that you can't forget to bring,
is the juice de jubee from a virginal cutee.
Your head goes in and the ruddiness begins.
To shape your personality and give you a speciality;
the ladies will adore, the menfolk will abhore.
So off you go to bed with your big ruddy head.
Pre-med, milk fed, Tortelvis and Dred.
The only thing in life that beats a big ruddy head,
Is to style, with guile, snappin coochie all the while.
A real woman would get on her knees and yell "Heil!"
To the head, the head, that big ruddy head.
Look out it's gonna getcha, it's a big ruddy head.
Pro-Keds, two-sheds, follow the Dead.
The only thing in life that beats a big ruddy head;
is to rile, awhile, with a vertical smile.
A real woman will only stand and yell, "Heil!"
To the head, you dred, that big ruddy head.
Look out, here it comes, it's a big ruddy head.
© 1997, 1999 Smegma Records
This song is on the Whitee Release Pack The Lamb.
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