Get your own Free Home PageI don't like football, go to church on Sunday.
Sing in the choir, it is my fun day.
Go to confession, to tell all my sins,
like how I got a boner watching Love Boat re-runs.
To get absolution, I say my Hail Marys,
for when I jerk off, or beat up a fairy.
I'm not a violent person, but I gotta protect the children,
from those god-less, cock-sucking heathens.
Jesus is Def, God is Dope.
I'm such a good Catholic, I'd suck off the Pope.
The Pope is a man, he's gotta get erections;
I'd do the papal woody, just start with genuflections.
I have all the hymns memorized, which one you wanna hear?
"Virgin Mary is the Mother" or "Jesus Ain't No Queer."
The church is loaded, there's many works of art
stored in the Vatican by Van Gogh, and Renoir.
If we sold half of them, could feed the earth's peoples.
But only if they shed their mosques and prayed under our steeples.
I give money weekly, drop it in the basket.
Don't wanna fall below the minimum and lose the right to sacrament.
Jesus is Def, God is Dope.
I'm such a good Catholic, I'd suck off the Pope.
The Pope is a man, he's gotta get erections;
I'd do the papal woody, just start with genuflections.
Sit-Stand-Kneel, in church I take the orders,
for in God's favors the Catholics are the hoarders.
Suck on communion even though it tastes like Metamucil.
Eatin the body of Christ don't make me feel like a cannibal.
Hunt savages in the Crusades, kill the filthy rebels.
"Peace to you, my son" - yeah, same to you fella.
Light a candle for my prayers, it only costs five dollars.
Don't need to sell flowers with brainwashed followers.
Jesus is Def, God is Dope.
I'm such a good Catholic, I'd suck off the Pope.
The Pope is a man, he's gotta get erections;
I'd do the papal woody, just start with genuflections.
I sometimes beat my wife, if she don't do as I bid.
The Bible said it's OK - or at least I think it did.
You may think it's hypocracy - that this gives me such joy,
but at least I'm not like our priest and molest little boys.
Jesus is Def, God is Dope.
I'm such a good Catholic, I'd suck off the Pope.
The Pope is a man, he's gotta get erections;
I'd do the papal woody, just start with genuflections.
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