Get your own Free Home PageI got the scoop, the straigh up poop.
News gonna make you do the loop de loop.
Try to stay calmish, don't be an alarmist,
Now I'm gonna tell you 'bout the sins of the Amish.
There's a girl named Judy, with a fine Amish booty,
The way she churns butter will make you fruity.
She met Able up in the stable,
Lifted up her dress let him lay the cable.
Along came Jeb, found her giving head
To Zachariah, Abraham, the Jones' boy Zeb.
Judy was sent to chuch to repent,
Caught her with the preacher knockin boots 'til spent.
What do you expect, a case of moral neglect.
Sins of the Amish will damn you to heck.
There's Farmer Mathews, harvesting the wheat though
Rain or shine, seeing if he can make do.
Grain from the chaff, take the wheat to thrash.
Thrashin til his hands are raw and chapped.
Take the buggy to market, to town then park it.
The good lord said, "there's the boat, don't rock it."
Four cents a bushel, goin for the nickel,
Cheating market man so he can buy the flannel.
What do you expect, a case of moral neglect.
Sins of the Amish will damn you to heck.
They call Jane sleezy, make the menfolk feel queezy.
Showin off her ankle, trying to tease thee.
Worse than the hemline, is the plunging neckline
On the burlap dress, she's not the marrying kind.
Rollin up her sleeves, singing Bringing in the Sheeves.
In church start to sway and tap her feet.
Working as a seemstress, hidin all her secrets.
Thinkin 'bout dancin gets aflowin her juices.
What do you expect, a case of moral neglect.
Sins of the Amish will damn you to heck.
Stop the cows from grazin, skip the barn raisin.
Get a pound of flesh from that kinky Amish hazing.
I'm still skeptical of Amish transexuals,
Throw Jeb's bonnet in the trash recepticle.
I bet you are astonished by the sins of the Amish,
For the rest of time their reps are tarnished.
© 1993 Smegma Records
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