JournalEuro1

Smoochie's Travel Journal

First Trip to Europe

Day One (I think)

Well, I've woken up in some pretty weird places before but this takes the cake. I'm used to waking up in the airvent, or tied up and hanging in front of the security camera, sitting on the fire alarm, that sort of thing. I must have really tied one on last night, because I have no idea where I am. I don't see Josh anywhere. Russell usually saves me when I'm in a jam, but I don't see him either. I seem to be on top of a double-decker bus. It's red. Let's see. We're- oh crap! We're driving on the wrong side of the road!!!! Wait- so is everyone else. Okay, gotta get a hold of myself. What's that sign say- Piccadilly Circus. Harrod's Palace. There's a building that says Bank of England and it only shows the temperature in Celsius. Blue Police Call Box on that corner. Whoops- it just made a funny noise and faded. I know where I am! Miami! Someone's taken me to Miami! Cool, now I can start looking for Booze. Oh, there's Chris. He must have brought me here. I'll talk to him and see what's up.

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Day Two

Okay, I was a little off on my location there yesterday. 3000 miles or so. Apparently Chris snagged me while I was passed out on Josh's monitor and took me with him to England. This is gonna be great. Last night he took me by a pub and I drank 6 times my weight in English Ale. Much stronger than the stuff back home and doesn't taste like it came out of the wrong end of a horse. I wandered off and lost track of Chris for a while there. Ended up someplace on Downing Street. Number 10, I believe. I heard something that sounded like Mini-Scooter being talked about so I checked it out- turned out they said minister, as in Prime Minister. So, I end up in his office. He was a nice sort, Blair, Blur, something like that. Offered me some really nice Scotch. I was on my 4th serving when I realized that after the ale, this might not be a great idea. That's when I blew chunks on his desk. The last thing I remember is something about an international incident and I woke up in an old boot on King's Row in SoHo. Took me most of the morning to find the hostel where Chris was staying. Gotta go sleep this off now.

Day Four

No time to write yesterday. We went to a dozen shops to buy stuff. Got enough chocolate here to build myself a house. I've decided I like Fish and Chips as long as there's plenty of vinegar to go on them. Chris says we're going to France in the Tunnel Train tomorrow, so maybe I'll see if I can still speak French when I'm not sober. Might come in handy. He says we have to go now since the Prime Minister's office is looking for us. Must have noticed I swiped some stuff off his desk. That or it's about me mistaking that Magna Carta thing at the museum for a placemat.

Day Five

Fell off the Eiffel Tower Today. My fault, really. We were on the top tier when some German College Tourists kids threw a not-quite-empty bottle of bourbon off to see how far it would go. My instincts for liquor overrode my instincts for self-preservation and I jumped after it. Once I caught it, I realized my error and decided, what the heck. So I drank it on the way down. I landed on the head of some guy from Massachusetts named Ted. Big, fat, unfriendly guy. He seemed pretty drunk himself but since I landed on his head, we didn't get to talk long, him being concussed into unconsciousness and all. He seemed to have some kind of intern with him who screamed 'Senator!' when he fell down. I just made like I didn't speak English, insulted the unconscious one for getting in my way just to show I'm rude, and they figured I was a native. Then I ran like blazes. Chris scolded me about the incident until he saw on the news who the guy was. Then he gave me some candy and told me I was a good froggie. Humans. Go figure.

Day Seven

Back in London now. Chris is writing the address for Josh at BancTec on a box full of candy stuff. (Candies you can't get in the U.S.- mmmm. Imports) and making the package care of Russell. Wait, something is-----------------------------------------

I'm wrting this in the dark naoow. Chris put me in the box and iss apparently sending me by post back to the US. Cheap #*&(@ wouldn't spring for my airfare back home. I managed to drink quite a lot of Ale lat night so I guess Ill just sleep it off in here.

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