smoochieJournalBelize

Smoochie's Travel Journal

Headed for Belize

Hitching a ride with kids is a way he gets around.

Where Smoochie Stayed

Smoochie talking with Basil

Day One

I'm stowing away in Orlando's luggage, looking for a trip down way South of the Border. We're headed to Belize. Always wanted to see some Tequila that wasn't made in Chicago. Next time I'll have to remember to stow away in his carry-on luggage, not the regular baggage. Being buried in a cargo hold isn't the worst thing I've ever experienced, but it's way down there. At least the scarcity of oxygen keeps me lightheaded enough to not care very much about how cold it is in here.

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Day Two

Sheesh- it is SO humid here. Lots of water to play in. Gonna go play on the beach for a while and then maybe see if I can get some hooch. Last night I heard a lot of frogs singing outside. 'Lando says they're treefrogs and that I should be careful around them. A lot of them are very, very poisonous. Still, I should probably go meet them. Sound like a fun group.

Day Three

Not sure how I got myself into this, but I'm with a group of revolutionary tree frogs and we're going to go swipe some artifacts out of a Mayan Temple in the deepest part of the jungle. I didn't know the Mayans were down here, but I never said I was an archaeologist or historian. Funny- for a bunch of Central-to-South American tree frogs, they all have very non-latin names. Cecil is the lead frog-nice fellow, Danbury is the demolitions expert, MacGruder just likes to get into fights, Frances (she's cute) seems to be the brains, Wilma is an informant and lastly there's Bridgett- she makes our lunches. Anyhow, once we get there, we are supposed to get this old relic out of there, sell it to the museum, and they'll have the capital they need to overthrow a group of Iguanas that are trying to take over and ruin things down here.

Day Five

Couldn't write yesterday- pouring rain. Not much to report then anyway, trees, plants, large furry critter, more trees, snake the size of a Buick, more trees again, and I found a bottlecap. Today we found the temple. It was guarded by a 3-headed Shetland Sheepdog named Mortimer. He didn't case us much trouble since two of his heads refused to wake up with the third saw us, and that head didn't seem very inclined to do more than yawn. We figured this would be a cakewalk until Frances pointed out that the yawn was a means of summoning the fearsome fire-breathing lemurs. I know what you're thinking: Lemurs! cute, cuddly, lowest form of primate below Apes and Monkeys. Well, yes they are, unless there are say six hundred of them that can breath fire and are carrying Croquet Mallets with them. Then the cuteness kinda gets eclipsed by the terror. We barely managed to escape them. Turns out that my belches were like chloroform for them. I let a huge belch go (my fear reaction) and the front wave of them fell right to the ground and stayed there. The others circled us for 20 minutes before I managed to subdue them. MacGruder kept them at bay while I downed a bunch of cheap DosEquis to refuel. We found the relic- looks like Jimmy Durante and a deranged Llama had a kid and this was the statue of him. But hey, we snagged it and ran.

Day Six

We've been on the run all day. Before sunup, we were awakened in camp by shouting. The Iguanas were raiding us and we were almost done for. They got Danbury and Wilma and we were forced to flee, which really chafed MacGruder. We can move more quickly through the trees than they can, but there are so many of them and they seem to be set up to ambush us at every turn. We were almost home free when we lost Bridgett in an accident involving a guided tour that crossed our path. We don't know if she died or if she's in someone's backpack in Burbank. Finally Cecil, Fran, MacGruder and myself made it back. We partied all night and I woke up the next morning to find I'd married Fran. It was cool with me, and she was eager to get to the U.S. Cecil said we can come back any time.

Day Seven

Caught up with Orlando today. He had been worried about me, but was happy to meet Fran. I told him what we?d been doing and he told me he was visiting family and they went on a boat to look at a hole in the water out in the gulf. I asked him what was in it and he said 'More Water'. I just don't get humans sometimes. He told me it had to do with a meteor that hit centuries ago, but I fell asleep after such a rough week. Can't wait to get back and nap on Russell's monitor for a few days. At least I have company now.

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