Some more bitchin!

What’s this? It’s another rant. This one is brought to you by the fine people of Mount St. Vincent College in Riverdale, NY. You see, I went home over the weekend because my bro Jurell asked me to come and watch this performance he and his Fillipino club, Samahan, were putting on. So of coarse, I made the $30, 4 hour trip (traffic at the Holland Tunnel) and on Saturday I attended the performance…kind of. You see, Jurell was actually in the performance, however, his skit was one of the first to come on. I did not make it to that portion of the performance, and that is why I have to thank the kind security guard, and several students of Mount St. Vincent College, because here is the following direction they all gave me when I was looking for Smith Hall (where the performance was being held) – “Yeah man, it’s just down the hill”…What the fuck does that mean? There are a bunch of hills, all of them poorly lit! For all I know, there could have been a mystery hill where an ass fucking gorilla would be waiting for me. Oh no Phil, you went down the wrong hill, looks like you lose, ready to get a gorilla booster shot? I mean damn it, there wasn’t one person who could have said “Go 3 building downs and turn right at where you see a bunch of construction barriers up”…No, I had to ask the people who hadn’t the slightest clue of where their own campus buildings were. How the fuck are you going to be in college and not be able to tell me how to get to a building on your own damn campus? Unless you’re going to the wrong building yourself every morning for classes, than you don’t have a fucking excuse! Regardless, I did watch most of the performance, which was good, although it’s a shame I couldn’t see Jurell’s because he was too busy not giving us directions on how to get to this place.

Anyways, getting back to ranting about other stuff, did anybody see the NBA All-Star Saturday Night events? With the exception of the 3-point shoot out and a few dunks from the Slam Dunk competition, it sucked. First of all, they have this competition called the Radio Shack Shooting Stars competition. Now here’s how it works, there are 4 teams, each with a WNBA player, an NBA player, and an NBA “Legend”. What happens is that they all shoot from different specified points on the court, and the team who makes all the shots in the shortest period of time wins. OK, I’m fine with that, but I got a question. Who the fuck picked out the NBA “Legends”? There was only one legend there, and that was Magic Johnson. Terry Cummings, maybe, but who the fuck made Steve Kerr and John Salley legends? Who? I thought these things were about the glitz and glamour, not shoving washed up scrubs onto the TV. Hey John Salley, lose some weight and get a real job.

Man, the sports world really is insane. We got fucking has-beens in All-Star events, and we got this whole steroid thing going on in baseball. Crazy, utterly crazy. Pete Rose wants to get readmitted into baseball, and I want to get into a bar without having to flash my driver’s license, but we all can’t get what we want. What bothers me right now about baseball are all those people whining about the A-Rod trade. Oh the Yankees, they’re evil, they’re evil, I hate them, I hate them. Hey…SHUT THE FUCK UP! I’m a fucking Mets fan (shut up dummy) and I’m not even whining about this. Hey, who won the last 3 World Series? I’ll tell you who, not the Yankees. Stop whining about the Yankees and go buy tickets to see your favorite team play. You’re the fucking reason why your team doesn’t have the money to get A-Rod, you don’t fucking buy tickets to even see them. Maybe you should blame yourself instead of the Yankees. As far as I see it, Boston and New York fans are the most dedicated, and therefore, they deserve to get the quality players they’ve got. You put up the money and you get what you pay for, that’s all there is to it. So for all you people who won’t stop crying about the unfairness of the A-Rod deal, shut up and go back to your jobs being carnies.

As we’ve seen, John Kerry so far is the front runner for the Democratic ticket. John Edwards is staying positive, as usual, and that’s good, you need one of them in there. But damn, Howard Dean, you really sank. What the hell happened, I thought your internet campaign was working wonders for you. Guess not. What’s funny now is that Ralph Nader is running on the independent ticket, and here’s why it’s funny…he’s not gonna win! And he knows it. You’re an idiot if you think this guy has a shot. He’s got money, he’s got some power, why doesn’t he just buy a speed boat and go fishing instead of wasting my damn time with his campaign.

I gotta say this ladies and gentlemen, a few weeks ago, an acquaintance of mine struck a debate with me about the state of the nation’s economy and President Bush. Needless to say, I’m bringing this up because I think this is funny. This person proceeded to say the following: the only reason there are Christian organizations on college campuses is because the president is a Republican. Let me repeat, the only reason there are Christian organizations on college campuses is because the president is a Republican. Wow, you can imagine the time I had trying to figure out how this person came to this conclusion. Apparently, unbeknownst to this person, Christian organizations have been around forever, especially on college campuses. However, this person must have been kicked in the head at birth or something not to know this. Regardless, seeing how this is my rant site, I had to mention this, because this drove me nuts. But hey I won the debate so I can move on.

Anyways, back to the ranting. Jessica Simpson and Nick _____ (I don’t know what his last name is) are getting their own show on ABC. It’s supposed to be similar to the show Sonny and Cher had, only a lot more crappy. If Jessica Simpson isn’t smart in front of a camera in real life how the hell is she gonna be smart on camera? And what I mean by smart is, how the hell is she going to read and interpret the jokes at the same time? Her mind can’t possibly multi-task, she has a hard enough time understanding the fact that buffalo wings aren’t made from real buffalos. I think I might just watch to see if she cries in the middle of a monologue.

By the way, thank goodness for spell check because otherwise I’d be spending more time editing than writing.

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