Tuesday, 6 September 2005

Oh I know it hurts now Brian, but look at the bright side: you have some new material for that novel you've been writing. You know... the novel you've been workin' on? You know the the one, uh, you've been workin' on for three years? You know the novel. Got somethin' new to write about now. You know? Maybe a, maybe a main character gets into a relationship and suffers a little heartbreak? Somethin' like what... What you've just been through? Draw from real life experience? Little, little heartbreak? You know? Work it into the story? Make the characters a little more three dimensional? Little, uh, richer experience for the reader? Make those second hundred pages really keep the reader guessing what's going to happen? Some twists and turns? A little epilogue? Everybody learns that the hero's journey isn't always a happy one? Oh, I look forward to reading it.

I find myself writing a blog on a blank piece of A4 paper, I have used once already to fold into a paper aeroplane, for my science experiment, while I sit on the dunny with the piece of paper pressed against the wall, as I write this using my black pen. The past few school days, there has always been somebody absent from these proceedings, possibly doing drugs. This has shown me the importance of each individual "character" in our society. Without using names, this blog will be dedicated to outlining the personality traits present in each "character".
(I have now left the protection of the dunny as I have finished doing #2's or as Daniel would put it, "Powdering my nose"?)

1. The "Larrikin": The Larrikin has the ability to make a joke out of almost anything.
2. The "Nerd": The Nerd scores an almost perfect score of 100% in each task and test. He/she is the anti-social type who's only friends are in books.
3. The "Weight Watcher": The Weight Watcher is the self conscience type who are always wondering what other people say/think.
4. The "Enchantress": The Enchantress is that girl you can always talk to for hours and not get bored.
5. The "Bully": The Bully will threaten/provoke physical and mental abuse against others who do not wish to pursuit in confrontation.
6. The "Couch Potato": The Coach Potato will spend hours in front of the telly and will usually create a Weekly Viewing Guide so they wont miss a blink of it.
7. The "Self Doubter": Always the first to doubt their own abilities as a person and claiming they are incapable of doing such activities.
8. The "Know-it-all": The Know-it-all will constantly believe that he/she is right, even though the facts disagree with him/her.
9. The "Metrosexual": No, not Homosexual, The Metrosexual is well groomed, well mannered and is "in touch with his feminine side".
10. The "Bickerer": The Bickerer are those who enjoy seeing other people squirm out of arguments over very minor things.
11. The "Bimbo": Slow, dim-witted and blonde are just some of the more noticeable characteristics of The Bimbo.
12. The "Environmentalist": The Environmentalist is a productive member of society as he/she is always the first to think about the effects of our daily actions on the environment.

You may identify with one or more of these "characters", you may know of somebody who may fit these characteristics but this has prompted me to include a disclaimer stating the importance of individuality, so I, the soul creator of S.N.U.H., will not be run down by angry protestors. So to them I say this: The stereotypes above are a reflection of today's society and I mean no way to offend or to threaten your position in today's modern society. Thank you for your time.

¶ David

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