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| Yes.. Mike actually does have some ... semi-funny stories to tell. Some might be funnier than others.. some might not be.. you decide. This page has some of , what I consider, my FUNNIEST MOMENTS. |
| One Evening my best friends Eric,Paul and I decided to take my bf little trip. We had NO Idea where to go. So where else do a car full of queers, who have a full tank of gas, AND live in Southern California go? WEHO. or.. West Hollywood. We decided to park at this VERY gay grocery store. We figured it would be safe. So we headed out came back to find our car was towed. We put all of our queer money together to get it out of the pound, which may i add was the scariest fucking place ever,,, out in the scariest fucking place ever. While we were waiting for Eric to do all the paper work, A trashy looking guy in a shiny mercedes with a hooker in the back seat kept looking at us. We were only armed with pepper spray, a chain.. and i had the... pencil. We got out of there safely, and when we were all pretty depressed from our fucked up day, we pulled over to get gas,,, There is where we had our final laugh. As i went to go pay for gas, i noticed the teller was very large,, but being that 40% of Americans are obese.. i thought nothing of it. So i payed for the gas. As i was getiing my change back i noticed her name tag. It read.. "Hello My Name Is Moo".. I laughed my ass off all the way to the car where i excitedly shouted.. "HER NAME IS MOO!!!" |
| Moo WHO? |
| On another fine trip with my friends.. We drove to the only decent place near San Bernardino.. Riverside. We were walking on the sidewalk on the streets of Riverside, right by the Mission Inn. We crossed the street and as we were walking away fromt the street a car full of girls yelled," NICE ASS!!!" Being the sluts that we were at that young age.. we bent over and pretend to wave our "Nice asses " in the air. As we turned around laughing at the sounds of whistles and "WOOOHOOO's", we were sobered by a *CRASH* sound. The girls in the car had crashed head on into a FORD F350.. Ouch... Well they were lucky my "Nice ass" was there to call the cops on my cellular phone.. |
| An Ass To Die For |
| I heard of one of my previous dates going out with another one of my.. past dates... well one was a big retart known as Jose..Or 5 finger.. don't ask, and the other was known as George.. or Mil House, because he looked like Milhouse from The Simpsons only with a shit load of hair.. Well i was told that one of their roomates.... who will remain nameles.. that he walked into the restroom one night and found a ring around the tub.. at first it appeared to bedirt.. but as he looked closer it was really hair!.. Now how the hell do you get a ring of hair in your tub?.. well he asked the same question to Jose... And his reply was.. "OH ... I shaved George's ass today and i forgot to clean it off. |
| Ring Around The Tub |
| One time .. having a night out with my friends.. we were discussing our worst dates.. and one of my friends.. who will remain nameless.... told me about some guy who had a rim of a toilet on his wall above his bed. Well he wanted him to sit on the toilet rim. and let him rim him!!! Gross??? i hope it is for you.. or there is something wrong with you!!! |
| Rim on Rim??? |
| What is a "fudgesicle??? an ice cream?? i think not.. Well not from what i heard.. Some perverted ass Instant Messaged me once .. letting me in on this wonderful information that a "fudgesicle is when you stick your Di*k in an ass. pull out.. and have shit on it.. .. Gross.. i know.. but APPARENTLY... .. true... |
| Ice Cream? I Think NOT! |
| What is the meaning of "Gay"? |
| What Exactly do you say when your boyfriend (NOT FERNANDO) says he'll only be top and not bottom because he doesn't want to be gay... ????? |
| The NEW Chiddy Burrito At Del Taco? |
| Well one of my friends had a little fling with a black guy named Chiddy.. the name is funny enough for this story.. anyway.. i have nothing against black people.. so don't even start calling me racist.... WEll, he had a little naughty time with him at a public library.. in the restroom. He told me how big he was .. and i could not believe that god would make something that size.. SO,. I said.,"Can you show me something that is about his size... ?" and we were at Del Taco.. bad timing .. i know, Well he lifted up his Macho Combo Burrito.. (with green sauce) .. and he said .. "THIS IS A CHIDDY". With the "wow" in my eyes .. i decided to call the Macho Combo burrito .. which you can find at your local Del Taco.. simply.. "The Chiddy" SO write to Del Taco.. asking to rename the Macho Combo Burrito.. to "The Chiddy" it's much easier.. Because.. someone That big.. DESERVES his own Burrito. |
| Ruff.. Ruff.. Muff???? |
| Am i the ONLY one who has heard the female anatomy reffered to as "Muff".. it sounds like a nasty word.. but Hey!! It matches the female reproductive system..... grosss!!!!! |
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| What is a diet... something that would make you a bit healthier right? That's what I thought it meant. Well i guess i've been wrong this whole time. When i used to work at Jack in the Box, I would constantly get these incredibly large people walk in. Of course, it's Jack in the Box, I know. Well I used to take their order with a smile, cause i had to. as i took their order of one of the greasiest combo's, I would ask,"Would you like to Jumbo size it?" Their response... "HELL NO.. I'M ON A DIET.. JUST GIVE ME A DIET COKE TO DRINK WITH THAT", As if the Diet Coke would help much. So I guess it is "ok" to be on a diet... and eat Jack in the Box.... As long as you.. (a) Don't Jumbo size it.. And (b).. order Diet Coke to drink.... |
| Dictionary Pleeeezeeeee... |
| Is Crack Cool? NOPE!! |
| Recently, one of my friends whos name will remain secret, told me, "I'm so fat". My friend Kim is going to give me some crystal so i can lose weight". "When i smoke, the results are going to be so good, i'm going to lose so much weight". Just a little info on what's going on in people's minds today. |
| Keep Checking Back..... For More Funnies!! |