Fencing is like sex ....
with a call person because you have to pay an entry fee.
because it's no fun without using hard pointy things.
because you have to wear protection to be safe.
because it is straight, bi, and same sex all at the same time but no one cares.
because you use electrical equipment to get a buzz.
because you both breathe heavy and get hot and sweaty.
because the mask, glove, and being tied are kinky.
because everyone get's excited about being touched.
because you have to learn to wait your turn.
because the excitement is over in 3 minutes or less. Even if you're good then it's only 4.
because you have to have a strip before you do it.
because someone has to check your equipment before you use it.
because there's a lot of thrusting, lunging, and binding
because there is always the fleche
because traction is very important to success.
Why Fencing is Better than Sex:
because you can fence with someone and then tell them how to
improve without them getting upset
because you can fence and tell without causing hard feelings.
because you can run in the fleche without anyone getting upset.
because you have someone to tell you when to stop, start, and where to go from.
because the director warns you before you get penalized for an
improper move but let's you continue to fence.
because you can use different blades without being considered kinky.
because you can have pictures and videos of your most impressive touches and not be arrested.
Even ugly fencers score regularly.
In fencing you have a coach to tell you what you're doing wrong, and you get to practice
first before trying it out for real.
You can fence with strangers without getting a bad reputation
you don't have to spend $30 in the bar getting to know them first.
You are not being insulting if you insist that your partner wear a mask.
No one expects a fencing bout to last much longer than two minutes
you don't have to worry afterwards if the other fencer enjoyed it or not.
In fencing, you don't have to get your own equipment until you decide wherher or
not you like it.
You usually fence in a big, brightly lit room with lots of people in it.
The person you're fencing with won't mind if your buddies stand around & cheer for you.
Whips are normal in fencing.
It doesn't hurt if someone steps on your blade
It is almost impossible to catch a social disease from a fencingblade.
You can play with your equipment in public and no one will laugh.
If your blade gets a funny bend in it, all you have to do is run it under your foot a few times.
No one cares how long your blade is,
if your equipment breaks you just go get a new one.
It is easy to get pretty girls to hold on to your blade.
if your opponent doesn't come, you win.
You can get equipment to fits just you
You can have blades of different lengths and nobody makes fun of you
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